I have a very large fear of the open ocean, and even I’d take that deal
A ten minute commute is more dangerous than this shit.
The ocean is BIG. Chance of something big enough to be interested in you discovering you and deciding to eat you in 30 seconds is minuscule.
Sharks aren’t mindless chomping machines.
Cthulhu might be problematic, though.
Sounds like a good alarm clock.
Can I choose a different time on weekends and holidays?
Does it take daylight savings into account?
It says I come back dry… does it clean me too? Can it replace a shower, is what I’m getting at…?
Oh I like the way you think, that’s brilliant!
30 seconds a day for only 5 years… That’s 912.5 minutes, or just over 15 hours. Less than a typical work week to tread water for a few seconds.
Can I bring a camera?
What about the sharks though? Sounds like there is a chance you might land somewhere you’re eaten.
Sharks would be wary of such large and unfamiliar prey appearing so suddenly. Unless you’re bleeding, they will probably only circle you for the 30 seconds, prefering you tired out instead of able to defend yourself.
What about landing in a group of man o’wars?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Portuguese_man_o'_war#Venom
I’d say it’s statistically unlikely you’d run into them, given just how much water there is on earth. And even if you did, you’re going to have 30 seconds of a bad time. Sure, according to the article you could have 3 hours of pain. So a warm bubble bath treatment. Death is only found in extreme cases.
I’ve been in 2 car accidents coming from or going to work… and I can tell you I’m never going to earn anywhere close to $100,000,000. Work has demanded I drive through dangerous blizzard conditions many times because the business doesn’t stop even though it’s not safe to travel.
I’ll absolutely risk maybe seeing a man o’war. Because on paper, it appears to be less dangerous (since I’ll be teleported away from it 30 seconds after) than any 9-5 job.
So next problem then, what if you’re dropped into a rough storm. The sort that can make oil tankers rock. Fair chance you would drown in that.
It’s 30 seconds. Bad storm, I can hold my breath and hope for the best, for 30 seconds. An oil tanker is large so the waves and wind have more to push on, and it’s staying there longer than 30 seconds. That’s the part you keep missing, you’re there for only 30 seconds. There’s tons of ships that go threw storms just fine. Also you get 50 skip days, so if you know there’s a bad tropical storm somewhere and you don’t want to risk it, just skip it. But even if there’s a hurricane going over Florida, statistically you’re just going to end up in the Pacific ocean somewhere since that’s the largest body of water. The pacific is ~30% of the earths surface. It’s got more surface area than Mars.
I have understood the 30 seconds part fine. I am looking at it from the point of view that you’re transported instantly and so could be taken by surprise when it occurs, you only need to have a wave crash on you, take in a mouthful of water and you would be in real trouble if get spun out.
There is rough weather out at sea in some part of the world most weeks, given you don’t know where you could be put on the globe then you would have to know you’re going to be dropped into a location with a storm to know to use your skip day otherwise you would be chewing through them pretty quickly.
There’s less than 100 shark attacks a year, world wide. In any given year there’s 10’s of thousands of deaths by car accidents just in the US. So, I’d say it’s probably safer 30 seconds in some water with sharks, than 30 seconds on any given highway with people.
as long as i spawn on the surface then it’s fine.
if the locations are random, chances are it’ll be in the middle of the ocean/sea, far away from any dangerous cliffs.
and as I get the money upfront, if I die, my loved ones will get it, so it isn’t that bad
I think it’s implied that the money goes away if you don’t fulfill the 5 years “owed”. Either that or your dead body spends a lot of time at sea.
more importantly is what court enforces those contacts so you can consult a lawyer
If you’re a muslim then Suleiman or his modern equivalent (King Charles?) and Allah, if you’re not even abrahamic then genies and demons are local deities with a society of their own which still adhere to the laws laid down by heaven (in this case Caananite High God El).
lol. imagine going to king Charles for a dispute you have with your Ginnie
And then he summons the wind to carry you home on a carpet.
the royal flatulence
The real question is how does pressure factor in? I don’t care what kind of preparations you make. If you end up at the bottom of the Mariana trench you won’t survive 30 seconds. You just go from biology to physics instantaneously.
I don’t think you can drown in 30 seconds?
So, just don’t get eaten. How hard can it be?
Don’t get eaten once, probably pretty easy. But don’t get eaten just shy of 2000 days in a row? Well… I’ll just say that’s probably not trivial.
Considering i could also get hit by a bus, cancer, random violence, or accident, I still would take the chance.
As would I. With all that money I feel like there’s some pretty easy damage mitigation steps you could take as well to ensure your safety.
you’d need to be spotted, identified as food, attacked and completely killed in 30 seconds… the odds of that are minuscule
Teleporting back doesn’t restore a missing leg and save me when I arrive back home dry, but bleeding out. So you only need to be mortally wounded.
And with 1825 different random teleportations, there’s certainly a non-zero chance of being dropped into the middle of an active shark hunt/feeding frenzy, or directly in front of a 200,000 ton shipping container vessel with 4 enormous 30 foot propellers waiting to liquify your body.
If your odds per teleportation are a 0.01% chance, across 1825 incidents over 5 years that’s an 18% chance of death.
again, the missing leg would only happens in exceedingly rare case since the ocean is not populated like New Delhi and predators don’t work like in the movies
your numbers are off by probably a factor of 100
the ocean is fucking huge. odds of that not happening are way better than odds of me dying biking over to the grocery store (thanks, all you drivers who completely ignore the cyclist and pedestrian crossing, your stop line at a red light, the giant NO RIGHT TURN ON RED sign, and the people obviously crossing it)
Actually it’ll only be about 15 hours. 365 days x 5 years, then add 1 for the leap year, then x 30 to figure out how many seconds, ÷ 60 for minutes and again for hours.
Surface of the ocean or anywhere from the deepest trench up?
Surface, no brainer, I can swim for 30s. Below the surface, you’ll be like the surfaced blob fish before the end of the first month.
I tend to agree. I usually claim that I can’t swim, as what I do doesn’t really constitute swimming, but I can stay afloat and move in a deliberate direction.
A complicating factor: Swells and bad weather make it a lot harder. But on the flipside, no matter how badly it goes, if I’m teleported back in 30s I’d just fill my lungs beforehand. I can hold my breath for much longer than that, and even if I couldn’t, it would take more than 30s to die from oxygen deprivation - just make sure I have EMTs on standby for when I return.
The only real danger seems to be getting slammed against some rocks or getting bitten by something
But if it’s truly random, the second one becomes a lot less likely?
I think you gotta be reeeeally unlucky to be eaten by something within 30 seconds of arriving.
And the chances for dangerous shore positioning are really slim because the ocean is fucking huge. I’d say chances are that you won’t even be able to see land during all of those 30 second rounds. Source: I work with/on ships
Jellyfish stings.
Yeah the only one I’d really worry about is teleporting into s boat prop, rocks or reef, or maybe jellyfish. This stings hurt for a long time.
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You know what time it is so you could hyper oxygenate for a few minutes and be fine. 30 seconds isn’t that long and I don’t think it’s long enough to trigger the bends.
I’d do it at any survivable depths, especially since it said you’d have safety equipment, even though I’m not sure you’d need that either in 30 seconds.
I think bends only applies if you inhale compressed air at low depths and come up, because the 1L of air at -200m expands as you go up. Air you breath at sea level would compress down to nothing, which might mean that your chest cavity gets crushed, even at levels that are normally okay for divers. Rapid changes in either direction are what kills you.
I can hold my breath for 30 seconds. If I know it’s going to happen I’ll prepare with a full lung.
I assume I won’t be sent to something like the marianas trench where the pressure either coming or going would kill me, and since after the 30 seconds I’ll be dry even if I mess up and take in some seawater worst case it will be a terrible few minutes of gasping when I’m back.
Edit: I have no idea how “I won’t be sent to”, got turned into “intelligent” by autocorrect.
Marianas trench would crush your chest cavity and blowout your eardrums, so I dont think you’ll survive 30s there.
That was an autocorrect issue. I literally said “I won’t be sent to” and somehow my voice to text changed it to “intelligent”
I literally meant that assuming that the rules of the game didn’t mean you would be instantly killed, then you had an incredibly high chance of surviving.
I did struggle to read it :(
Agreed, if there is no teleport into insta-death, its definitely survivable.
Is it always at the surface of the ocean? Not at the bottom where the pressure will kill me, or unexpectedly submerged so I breathe water and die? Then yes, yes, yes. I will take those odds and consider it a very reasonable retirement plan, and an incredible hourly wage.
ETA I would think the biggest risk is data loss from so many teleportations. The sea is so big and empty that if it’s literally random the odds of appearing inside the wall of a ship or in the mouth of a shark does seem less likely than being mowed down by a car on my way to work (same 30 minutes a day total riding back and forth) for a much bigger payout.
30s per day of mild-to-moderate discomfort for 5 years, or working an average of 6 hours per day for virtually my entire life.
This was clearly written by someone with an intense and irrational fear of the sea. Nothing’s doing shit to you in 30 seconds. Most creatures wouldn’t even register your presence quickly enough to even think about doing anything.
Especially the surface of the open ocean. There’s little out there compared to near land. And even if you happened to pop near a shark feeding frenzy, for 30 seconds hold your breath, let yourself sink if that happens, and just don’t move at all.
As written it’s just five years 365 times. The odds are very good for survival. To make it more questionable, have the owed time be five years total in your life of 30 seconds accumulated. Still the same factors apply, 30 seconds isn’t a life risk. Add in the choice of extending any of these to longer than 30 seconds before the pop to use up the time. Now survival becomes questionable if you gamble too much or at the wrong time.
To make it more questionable, have the owed time be five years total in your life of 30 seconds accumulated.
Unless my math is wrong, which is super possible cuz I’m not particularly skilled with math, this isn’t possible. I just looked up seconds in a day and did a couple quick divisions (86,400 seconds in a day, divide by 30 for the number of swims, then divide by 365 for number of years it would take). So might be way off.
A single day in that arrangement appears to take almost 8 (7.89) years of daily 30-second swims. You’d never reach 5 years, it would just be a permanent condition of your life at that point. You might accumulate an entire fortnite before you die if you start very young (14 days would be 110.5 yrs).
Edit to fix number
Nods. Don’t forget you get 50 skip days. 50. I’d burn a couple of those if I was in the middle of something at end up with like 47 left.
I like swimming in the middle of nowhere. 30 seconds wouldn’t be enough for the absolute tranquility…I mean…if you weren’t in the middle of a storm, which would be also fine for 30 seconds.
And most creatures are near shore or too deep to matter.
I mean, it would be extremely possible to be exceedingly uncomfortable to dangerous.
You could end up in the middle of a group of jellyfish, on a shoreline with heavy waves crashing you against rocks, in glacial Antarctic waters, on top of barnacle-covered rocks cutting your feet, in front of a ship barreling down upon you, in an oil spill… the entire premise is that it’s random. Many teleports would be safe, but any might not be.
I personally think the stress over not knowing and having to do it every day and trying to keep it secret too would be way worse for me than just working.
You probably get used to it over time though.
I’ve survived far worse.
There are so many ways you can die in less than 30s in the ocean. And that’s just on the surface. The offer is “into the ocean”.
If I’ve got 70 years left to live that works out to effectively $120,000 a month for the rest of my life. The worst case is I get eaten and my family is set up for life. People take worse odds all the time for a lot less.
Surface of the ocean? So, no chance of randomly arriving at submarine-crushing depths?
Hell yes. In fact I’d probably pay for the experience 🤣
What if a cruise ship happens to occupy the part of the ocean that I teleport to? Do we get Philadelphia experiment’d?
It depends on how “random” is decided. If any spot on the surface has an equal random chance to be chosen, you’d end up in the middle of nowhere pretty much all the time. Don’t underestimate how vast the oceans are and how little space is actually occupied.
Take the money. Use all 50 skip days up front. Consult lawyers/financial people to set friends and family up for life. Let the ocean take me on day 51.
Sorry, what’s the catch?
I only see upside.
Also… 30 seconds…
Even without a tummo breathing start, I could probably hold my breath that long… wouldn’t even need to tread water… just take a breath and dive. n_n
