body-without-sex-organs

  • Nagarjuna [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    I used to work for a sports merchandise store and I regularly had women ask me if it was okay for their husbands to wear teal jerseys.

    Like

    1. Your husband will not explode if he puts on a Jaguars or Mariners jersey.

    2. I love that my queer ass is the authority on cis-het masculinity. Like, yeah dude, teal is a manly color now. In fact, no one is talking about it, but so is fuchsia. Have you considered buying him a breast cancer awareness jersey?

  • Judge_Jury [comrade/them, he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    yea

    I had some relatives question a woodland theme to toys and bedding for a baby boy. Lots of green and brown, plus some snails, rabbits, deer and shit.

    CW hunting

    In the end they rationalized it by saying they guess he can be a hunter. Now I’m wondering how many of the hunters I know just want to go camping but feel like it’s too feminine if they aren’t trying to kill anything

    • usernamesaredifficul [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      the standards are pretty weird and contradictory especially around the edges

      for example it is unmasculine to be too educated but also “girls can’t do maths”. Women can’t learn fractions but must be excelent cooks

      both institutional sexism against female artists and “is it ok for a boy to like colouring”

      for everything else the gender binary standards are they are also self contradictory gibberish

      • GalaxyBrain [they/them]@hexbear.net
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        1 year ago

        Food math is fucking hard. It’s also not standardized, sometimes assumes all liquids have the same weight by volume as water etc. This is more of a professional thing than a home thing but twice a year I’ve gotta do food costing which means converting all this normal cooking shorthand to grams while making a typical version of each item so we know how much of how much goes into each so the cost can be broken down. On menu changes the other parts of the year i usually have to do the opposite and convert weight by gram based ingredient measurements to something people can use. The number crunching here can be something else. Me and a pal who are both very good at working through data made a streamlined formula, he’s a former geologists and I’m an attempted geographer who is good at statistics, it still took some real ass effort between us. It was worth it cause we have a system down for each time and I can’t complain a whole lot more than I normally do, he’s a good dude who gave me a DS9 model kit out of the blue who actually has this responsibility while being paid what I do cause I can encourage he get a raise when I demand mine frequently but he’s gotta come forward about it. I have his authority in a practical though non official sense and none of the responsibility, if I didn’t make his life easier I’d be a bad person.

          • GalaxyBrain [they/them]@hexbear.net
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            1 year ago

            Used to be a baker. Now we do some. It’s an Italian restaurant and our main thing is pizzas. It’s fairly upscale and we do our dough and bread from scratch. When I was a baker I basically had to invent recipes myself cause the previous guy quit right as I came in and took everything with him. I hacked a lot of it out freestyle until I had solid recipes that i then followed like a religion unless I was feeling crafty

      • WhatDoYouMeanPodcast [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        1 year ago

        it is unmasculine to be too educated but also “girls can’t do maths”

        Nothing cranks my tractor quite as quickly as the idea of some over-educated soyjack complaining about a problem only for the wise redneck sage who Tells It Like It Is™ after a hard career of Making the Hard Decisions™ to come in and hit the TV with a wrench or turn it to W for Wumbo. It’s so thought terminating and can easily and often be unhelpful.

    • ZapataCadabra [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      I mean in my experience working with young kids, girls were more likely to pick coloring as a free time activity than boys. Some boys still would and obviously it’s gendered. Probably in a subtle way but it’s related to the socializing of “girls like crafts, boys run around.”

    • usernamesaredifficul [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      most of the bad ideas a young boy raised in a non toxic household is going to be exposed to are probably going to come from other boys their age. Shortly followed by the internet and then tv

      providing a space where they can be vulnerable at home is from my childhood experience at least pretty helpful

      • BrezhnevsEyebrows [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        1 year ago

        Very true. I remember when i was a small boy i used to let my mom paint my nails because I thought it was cool. Then at the park one of the other boys sneered “only girls paint their nails” and I never wore nail polish again. But I doubt that behavior like this is innate in children

        • wtypstanaccount04 [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          1 year ago

          When I went to pick up a family friend’s son from daycare a couple months ago, some of the boys had nail polish. They weren’t being teased over it either. The kids are all right.

        • usernamesaredifficul [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          1 year ago

          no they learned it from elsewhere in society. What I am saying is that you can’t just remove a boy (or girl) from society and the negative ideas it will teach them. At least not completely

          • BrezhnevsEyebrows [he/him]@hexbear.net
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            1 year ago

            I know. Which makes me sad, because I want to protect kids from the harm the patriarchy inflicts on them. Shits just fucked, and like you said a good home environment where they can express themselves is really the best I can do on an individual level

            • usernamesaredifficul [he/him]@hexbear.net
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              1 year ago

              the personal is political. Helping protect just one child from this is helping the grander society shift as well. Like water droplets that cut through stone helping enough individual people have better ideas can help shift the culture overall

        • infuziSporg [e/em/eir]@hexbear.net
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          1 year ago

          In elementary school I remember a Friday when a girl was going around saying “does any BOY want his nails painted?”

          The most gruff boy in the grade accepted, and got one hand pink and one hand purple. Walked around the rest of the afternoon with a very proud smile on his face. In retrospect it was glorious.

      • Adkml [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        1 year ago

        As you mentioned the internet, specifically YouTube is really precarious for falling down any number of incredibly brainstormed rabbit holes.

        I feel crazy wondering if the kids dressing up as Disney characters while their parents film are about to launch into a Prager u lecture.

        • usernamesaredifficul [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          1 year ago

          Andrew Tate especially should not have access to kids and it is deeply irresponsible and fucked up to allow a human traficker and groomer access to impressionable children

          and what he’s doing is very much grooming

    • This is so awful. Undoing toxic propaganda for your kids is a full time job that’s impossible to do well without alienating them from their peers, so you just have to satisfy yourself with doing the best you can. Having queer people in your life helps. Queer visibility is important for a reason.

  • SerLava [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    “Oh yeah yeah you’re right Sharon, play food is for women and the gay, OK here.” drops loaded snubnosed revolver on the counter

  • axont [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    I worked at a GameStop briefly. One time had a lady customer ask me if we could exchange a game in a Wii box for a PS2 box since her son in the military might think the white box is too feminine

  • star_wraith [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    As a parent of little kids I am now one million percent convinced all of this gendered “girls naturally like pink and ponies and boys naturally like blue and dinos” is utter nonsense. I try as best I can to just let my kids explore whatever they want and they do not fall along any of these gendered lines.

    But ultimately, it feels like a losing battle since everyone in my life (partner included) as well as all of society is fighting against me on this. As my kids have gotten older I can already see how they are falling being pushed into gendered interests. But I know it’s not some organic interest. I can draw the lines and point to how they get so much societal push on these things.

    • Dessa [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      This is why a few more radical parents dont reveal their childrens AGAB to others. It comes with its own set of challenges, I’m sure, but I sure wish I had a little more space from cisnormativity growing up

    • CrimsonSage@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      It doesn’t help that children are super primed to perceive and understand gender, kind of like how they are with language.

      • magi [null/void]@hexbear.net
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        1 year ago

        Seen a lot of people who don’t think kids are that smart, inquisitive or can grasp concepts and things like that. Some people have problems themselves being ignorant and reluctant to learn and project it I guess, would explain that line of thinking

    • Melonius [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      I dropped my kid off at a day care camp for 1 evening and the first thing the counselors did was separate boys from girls in two lines sadness

  • JohannaChittarra@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    BEWARE: An object’s ability to reflect certain wavelengths of light has the direct effect of permanently altering your child’s gender identity with repeat exposure.

  • FlakesBongler [they/them]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    I remember being a kid and my dad refusing to let me buy a Jigglypuff stuffie because “It’s pink”

    Well, guess what daddy, I have like ten of them now

  • Frogmanfromlake [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    No they aren’t and I see this shit all the time at work. Dudes always pull up with their big ass pickup trucks bragging about how big and intimidating their car is. Refuse to touch electric cars or anything smaller than an SUV because “only queers and women drive those”

    • UlyssesT [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      No they aren’t and I see this shit all the time at work. Dudes always pull up with their big ass pickup trucks bragging about how big and intimidating their car is. Refuse to touch electric cars or anything smaller than an SUV because “only queers and women drive those”

      ZYBERTRUKKK™ is being marketed specifically to those insecure dudebro nerds… and they’re buying it. soypoint-1 melon-musk soypoint-2

      • Adkml [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        1 year ago

        Yea those dumb shits are the reason American pickup trucks are completly fucking useless, cost $90k and get 7 miles to the gallon.

        Stupid fucking land tanks can’t even drive in the snow and have a fucking 4 foot bed to boot.

        Gimme a tiny truck with the bare minimum amount of electronics in it God damn it.

  • Ho_Chi_Chungus [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    a customer telling her daughter she can’t give out ice cream stickers because there will be boys at the party

    wait a minute… if boys can’t have ice cream… then what’s the deal with all those memes about Joe Biden eating ice cream???

    Joe Biden trans woman confirmed