Well just know if you ever hit that side effect of not!Parkinsons, you know. Back on abilify, it was so bad that I fully relapsed on opiates because they were the only thing that would help me sit still. I wanted to kill myself just so I could get some sleep, it was that bad. If you get it, there is no doubt in your mind

Yeah I think you’re right. I should be on top of the world right now. Every downer ever mixed together with some beer and pot on top, I should feel amazing. But even when doing things I normally enjoy, it was like I was being drug through glass shards. I am miserable without my meds, and even notice how miserable I am without them regularly. Even long before I started seeing a psych.

I’ve always really needed medication, and always really wanted to self medicate myself. I really need to break that. Sorry for the rant, I know this might be dump-y but I have to write this out for myself to understand myself I guess.

Anti-psychotics all have an interesting effect where they dampen all dopamine and seratonin receptors except for your nicotine receptors. Your nicotine receptors are the last thing that make you feel fully as joyous as you were before meds. Nicotine also curbs every side effect of APs, increased appetite and dissociation being the main ones. Once I started anti-psychotics, I straight up told the people closest to me that I was now never going to be able to quit nicotine. I could accept switching forms, I didn’t feel like I needed the cig, but I at least needed the nicotine.

I religiously follow Jim on everything. I wake up to a Jimothy Gaming video, then a revival tournaments video at bed time. Occasionally one on Jimothy Cool as well. I even start listening to The Fridge when I’m really bored. To say that the Jimvitational is the most exciting thing I’ve seen all year is an understatement. Knowing there’s another Hexbear Jimothy fan means so much to me.

Pailperidone is one I’m actually interested in. How does it treat you? Was the injection actually good? I’d love the ability to not skip my meds for a month if it works that well.

Olanzapine was so weird for me. So much heavier with all of the worst side normal effects of anti-psychs. That’s the drug that made me stop taking my prescribed meds.

Abilify gave me akathesia that I’m still living with and correcting.

How does the combo work for you? I have personal trauma with much of your cocktail, but I’m curious if it actually treats you right.

I need to start smoking cigs again. The pouches are great, but I feel certain areas of my life actively degrading because I don’t have the regimen that cigarettes provided.

Yeah, I guess I just keep forgetting how low my episodes are. Literal months long of nothing but dissociation. They’re so long that they always make me forget why I even live. What atypicals are you on if you don’t mind me asking? Feel free to ignore this question

Yeah, I’ve been really trying to kick the booze for a while. I go to an AA meeting at least once a week because I’m so tired of being like this. I used to love smoking cigs after I took my meds but I actually quit smoking to do nic pouches, and I think losing my post med cig was probably damaging.

Alcohol truly makes me miserable though. Mark my words, if I don’t stop drinking soon I will be dead by my own hand before 25.

Yeah, I also have hallucinations that make skin picking even worse. I one time ate a tendon out of my finger because I thought it was a parasite.

Getting on zoloft has made the nailbiting completely dissapear.

HR is so fucking fun. Also, a beautiful game even years later, the art style really has held up. The world they built for HR was just so interesting and fun to be in. Very flawed, but ultimately one of the games I hold most fondly from that console generation.

I made a post about this story forever ago, but it’s always a good one to retell. I have schizophrenia, and a lot of emotional swings. One day a few years ago, I woke up and was ready to kill myself. I was gonna get pizza beer and drugs first, but I was ready to go. On the way to go get pizza, I see this Nazi rally on a bridge I drive on a lot. Pulled over and threw moldy coffee at them and cussed them out. One of them ran after my car, but I went into reverse and came inches away from hitting the fucker. Came back after I got my pizza and drugs, they were all gone and just left some lame ass flag there that I stole.

Anti-psychotics are all major life changes. They dampen your dopamine receptors quite heavily. There is no anti-psychotic without the effects I hate because I hate the main effect. I have only tried 3 or 4, but Risperidone is the one that works the best for me by quite a long shot. I even look forward to it sometimes.

There is a side of me that knows taking Risperidone is my saving grace. Another side of me wants to just completely throw it out the window and use fent until die. I have to fight that side a lot. Risperidone makes that battle a lot easier.

Oh yeah I function great as a drunk. Arguably better than when I’m sober. I face very little consequences IRL for my alcoholism. I just know that I’m an alcoholic and refuse to ignore it. All the consequences are in my head. I might be an alcoholic, but I’m not going to be an alcoholic without fighting it. I’ve really appreciated your support.

Speaking of support, I’ve switched over to the nicotine pouches. They’re a lot cheaper than cigs, and you can do them in more places. I personally have a much easier time going into somewhere like walmart with a pouch in my mouth, it’s opened up a whole world that wasn’t available to smoking me. It’s made me feel like smoking me was missing out. Might be worth giving a shot.

Yeah I actually got put on zoloft recently, which has been quite good. I’m not seeing my psych for another few weeks, but I think I’m going to mention this to her next time hopefully. However, like I said, Risperidone stablizes me. I don’t really know if I can go without it. As much as I hate it, it works. I don’t think I can stay off the meds this time because it’s provided so much. Even cuts down my T production, it really helps with growing gender dysphoria. But I really don’t want to be on it. You can feel it dampening your emotions, turning you into an automaton

I’m still taking my zoloft, but there’s this part of me that just wants to run away from everything. Risperidone stabilizes me, but anti-psychotics are so fucking heavy. They dissociate me so much, and I hate it. I’m tired of the dissociation. I also missed my visual noise. A lot. I don’t think I ever wanted to be asymptomatic because it makes me feel like a fake. Risperidone also dampens all your dopamine receptors, so drugs (including alcohol) feel way weaker. It’s somewhere between a form of self harm and wanting to just be me.

I knew that. I definitely knew that before reading this comment. I definitely didn’t take this image at face value because I just took a dab.

Lil Ugly Mane - Can Sex Me

FKA Twigs - Two Weeks

Oh that’s so fucking awful. Like other commenters said, it may be towed somewhere and just not on the paper. Insurance may pay for a rental depending on what insurance you have. If you have full coverage, they probably will. If you just have liability, you’re SOL.

I want to meet the person who drives this so bad

I like all of Drayano’s Pokemon ROM hacks. Essentially just puts all of the content you would want from a Pokemon game into it. All Pokemon catchable, more challenging trainers but not overwhelmingly so, side content the works. Storm Silver is probably the best one. If you’ve thought about replaying a Pokemon game, play the Drayano version of it

There’s fucking Ortolan that is so shameful it’s traditional to put the napkin over your head to hide what the fuck you’re actually doing