Never tried heroin.
If, by some unfortunate circumstances, I survive to 70, I am doing ALL the heroin!
Why continue to play it safe? So I can eat watered down jello, observe my faculties and senses diminish day by day, and piss my pants for another 10-20 years until I expire like spoiled produce with Matlock playing in the background?
Too many people living and working for a possible retirement that may or may not come are going to be disappointed that all they slaved and sacrificed for was to be a worn out husk sitting in a chair too far into decomposition to start living 65 years in.
My work has taken me to countless retirement communities at every socio-economic level, from wards of the state who signed away their social security, to the wealthy family members that the 1% throws away to die. The only differences are in the food and the common area decor, and some cheap tapestries don’t change the reality. There are a lot of courteous smiles, but absolutely zero happiness to be found in any of them in my experience.
I call working with the intent to make it to that literal shitshow planning for failure.
I believe that everyone should smoke, drink, and enjoy the occasional hard drug- just start when you’re 75 or 80. Fucking party on the way out.
What it gonna do, kill you?
Spoken like a true 20 year old who has no concept of what health at 75 looks like. The alcohol hangovers will last multiple days, you might have a lung condition that prevents you from smoking, your circulation will massively shit the bed off stimulants (think racing heart, cold sweats, feeling weak, anxiety) and opioids… well, opioids might be mostly okay except for the constipation I guess. Withdrawals might incapacitate you for months though.
constipation, infection, mentally absent, stopping breathing, the crippling pain of withdrawals…
arrogant póster above
Forget heroin do a heroic dose of shrooms
Try some Datura seeds
I agree wholeheartedly. My wife and kid have a standing order that should I get dementia, I am to be left in the woods very far from civilization. And just to make that less likely, On my 70th birthday I will be buying the fastest available motorcycle. And no helmet. Which theoretically should have me reduced to a wet smear on the pavement in short order.
The worst thing I can think of is for me to be a burden on my loved ones.
If this was a religion, I’d be asking for the collection plate.
Hi, I treat people with SUDs and many of them are in their 60s, some older. Nothing ruins lives like heroin. Nothing. People just want to enjoy their final years with family but addiction rips them away. People lose limbs to heroin. People lose minds.
How about instead you just say you wanna kill yourself at 70? Say it with your fucking chest and stop glorifying poison.
Of all the things to get clean for in life, your own funeral.
Humans are odd.
Stay clean, not “get” clean. Recovery is a circuitous path.
I could have gone my whole life without seeing a Kermit Goatsee
I guess. If you can even call that a life
Are you really even alive if you’ve never smashed that kermussy?
What a terrible day to be literate
My God this post is vile 🤣
Grandma deserves a healthy and natural double fisting too
This took a turn sharper than grans lower intestine
Why though?
Old people sex.
Yup. What’s wrong with it? Are people supposed to shed their libido at some point in their lives?
Young people sex is kinda gross if you think about it. I understand old people are aloud to have a libido but that doesn’t mean I want to watch it or hear about it.
Seriously.
I have to go into nursing homes all the time. The ladies at them are the thirstiest women I’ve ever met.
…but ya know, a hole is a hole 🤷
ಠ_ಠ
If there’s a hole there’s a goal
A pensioner’s vag is like a pork pie. You have to break through the crust and the jelly to get to the meat
What a terrible day to have eyes.
I used to do the same, and yea they do be getting down all the time. Definitely interrupted a few lemon parties.
Just curious here, but why did you guys see the title “Senior Citizen Sex” and still decide to click the link?
On second though, I don’t want to know.
Because a lot of people find older folks having sex really icky. And it’s such a deeply ingrained and weird take.
So I’m here to dispute it.
They are all members of the Lemon Party.
I have spent my waking life on the Internet since 2400 baud modems. Christ, Lemonparty made the rounds since 2002. Nothing fazes me.
Can’t have a Lemonparty without Old Dick!
I think you might have some issues, op.
Not really.
Look up some STD transmission stats for retirement communities. It’s a real issue.
The real issue is the absolutely pathetic state of sex ed in the US. A lot of these people probably grew up thinking that “safe sex” meant doing it when she isn’t ovulating and somehow never learned any better despite living through the AIDS epidemic of the 1980s.
Come on. People of nursing age have had a literal lifetime of new sex science. There really is no excuse except for an unwillingness to learn.
There’s also that people that age don’t give a fuck anymore, they just fuck.
Man, what’s heart breaking is congenital syphilis. A disease that’s passed to an infant at birth. In 2012, it was almost gone from the US.
In 2021 it has surged by 201% nationally and quadruple digit percentage in some States.
And given the antibiotic resistance that’s quickly building up, we may never be able to get rid of it now without some new advancement.
And the vast majority of the surge has been due to people either not being able to have a prenatal screening or not wanting it.
It is one of the most depressing defeats. Especially considering the damage the disease does to the child brain and heart. It’s just an unspeakable L humanity has had to take on this.
I agree with you, but I don’t think you can blame congenital syphilis on nursing home residents unless it’s male residents banging female nurses young enough to be fertile.
OP’s not wrong, though. Inmates of boomer gulags are old, not dead. They’re gonna fuck unless you keep 'em in solitary confinement 24/7.
And MAN do they be fuckin’.
Nothing wrong with that. A lot of them have spent their entire adult lives working for the man. 40+ hours a week on the job from 18-65 isn’t a life; it’s a fucking life sentence.
At least my fair share lol
Excuse me?
My granddad once said to me, “It’s really humid today”
To which I replied “Aye tell me something I don’t know!”
He said, “Err…ok. I can fit my whole fist up your gran’s arse”
Grannie can get it
Please elaborate.
My better half works in a nursing home. The one she works in now is more “independent”, she used to work in a nursing home that also had a “memory care” (Alzheimer’s/dementia) wing.
She explains that the sex is rampant. Her favorite story was about a couple who would sneak into a supply closet to do the sweaty, wrinkly deed. But they weren’t as sneaky as they thought, because they would park their walkers outside the closet.
What happens sometimes, is you have these elderly people, who have lost someone they have been married to for decades. And they’re lonely, but they are surrounded by other people around their age who have also lost someone who was in their lives for decades.
Plus they don’t have anything else to do.
In a few years, they’ll all be playing counter strike instead of jumping each other.
I dream of my final years being like my first days: playing videogames viciously.
I just sent this to my mother-in-law AND father-in-law
Used to deliver medication to an air force vet at a nice retirement residence, would knock on the door and hear a woman go “teehee just a minute” and there’d be like two ladies on the couch in his living room space. Guy was living the dream lol
Downloaded and scheduled text to my child for 35 years from now.
As someone in their 40s with a teenager, I’m looking forward to my 50s when it’s possible I might get to have sex again. Because they don’t have a bedtime.
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