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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: August 13th, 2023

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  • No, they aren’t.

    All of my coworkers are super trump supporters, they even bought the flag from the assassination attempt. Yesterday, one of them told me to go “fuck my couch” and I said “there’s enough couch fuckers around” which confused him.

    I awkwardly explained the JD Vance couch thing (I know it was just a troll, it didn’t actually happen) and he BLEW UP. He was explaining that he looks up to and respects JD and I shouldn’t believe what I’m seeing on the internet.



  • My wife was like this all the time. It was so exhausting and I couldn’t keep track of what she was mad about anymore. Then she started accusing me of cheating on a regular basis.

    Then I found the texts in her phone to multiple other guys. Pictures and everything. I bent over so far backwards for her to keep her happy and that’s what happened.

    Dumped her ass, got a new girlfriend that is radically different (she communicates) and I’m getting my life back on track. Restraining order in place. The future will be good.




  • I have had a “biohazard” call at a local college.

    The platen glass is a lot thinner than it looks!

    Also, depending on the model of the copier, it will not let you copy money, and if you attempt it too many times, it will literally brick the machine.

    Something cool to do is to take your phone and turn on the selfie camera. Lay that on the platen and make a copy to see a trippy pattern.

    If you want to screw with someone, lay a single paperclip on the platen and make a bunch of copies of it. Take your copies and shuffle them into the paper tray face up (assuming you’re using an office laser copier) so every once in a while, someone will get a paper clip on their print.