Also explains how such a big guy can climb down nonexistent chimneys. He uses quantum tunneling to get into all the houses.
In at least one of the universes the house will have a chimney
Hopefully all the Christmas decorations don’t cause any quantum entanglement as he rushes around.
Wrong, Google maps can track him and I’ve heard him in the middle on the night.
Google map is late to the game. NORAD has radars and has been doing it for much longer.
Due to the uncertainty principle, they can know where he’s going or where he is, but not both at the same time.
We can’t measure Santa at all if we don’t want to have an effect on Santa. This is dangerous territory.
SG1 is probably helping track Santa since he’s quantum
I’ve heard him in the middle on the night.
Are you sure that isn’t just a peeping tom?
No, if it was, he would have been shot on sight by my mom. I was really young when it happened.
Also, he’s already moving https://santatracker.google.com/
Your mom didn’t shoot Santa, she shot a hobo.
I never said she shot him
Oh, she missed the hobo?
No, she never woke up to shot him. Only I know he was in the house.
Then from your mom’s perspective, Santa can be considered both dead and alive.
The problem with Santa Tracker is that he only visits like 20 cities accross the globe.
I live in bumfuck nowhere and I still get presents. That’s how I know that Google is lying.
No! You changed the outcome by measuring it!
Breaking and entering is okay on Christmas if you use the chimney?
Someone’s getting coal this year.
Entering, maybe, but breaking? What are they breaking? They’re just going down the chimney hole.
I like the idea of the time zone Santa being in is like an electron probability cloud.
I subscribe to the multi Santa theory
So can someone who understands quantum theory higher level than a simple idiot like myself confirm if this actually holds to real quantum physics, or is it just words?
As an expert scientician with a degree in science, I can tell you in my educated opinion that Santa’s Quantum Superposition Theory is the best explanation for how I got a Zartan action figure in 1985 without ever telling my mom and dad I wanted one.
It also explains how everyone gets exactly what they asked Santa for. Before the present is opened it contains all possible presents and once you open it, it collapses to what you expected.
To a degree, yes. As was mentioned elsewhere there is a thing called Wave Function Collapse, which occurs when a measurement is taken of a quantum system and forces the system from superposition (multiple states at once) into a single state. A measurement could be seeing it, scanning it, bumping into it, etc (not human conscious observation, that’s an old and weird interpretation and not relevant nowadays).
Before (and after as well) you actually collapse the wave function you can perform meaningful math using the quantum particles. The one way I’m familiar with is for computer calculations, which is what quantum computers are aiming for. This is basically done by canceling out certain possibilities to only allow the wave function to collapse into ways that give meaningful mathematic results.
As such, this is barely relatable to a quantum Santa which uses this nature to perform meaningful present sharing actions simultaneously using quantum superposition of a quantum system that is spread out over a very large area. Of course, basic quantum mechanics becomes statistically the same as normal physics (i.e. 10 quadrillion particles average out to one normal human), so Santa would need to be a reality bender to allow for such small chances to occur to allow a human sized being to affect a huge area… but whatever.
Correction: only MY house gets presents if I see Santa. THEY’RE ALL MINE
Image Transcription: Mastodon Post
Bastett, @Bastett@meow.social
Santa is a quantum being. His probabilistic nature means he can be in every house at the same time on Christmas.
This is why it’s vitally important noone sees him. If he’s observed the probabilites collapse and only one house gets presents.
#Christmas
It’s your parent(s)/primary caregiver(s). It’s expensive and a little gratitude wouldn’t hurt.
It is santa. You think my own parents would just lie to me for over 30 years!? To hand the credit to someone imaginary? Doesn’t make a shred of sense.
No thoughts, only Christmas xxx
This is not a problem for kids here in Finland. On Christmas Eve, there is a knock on the door and Santa Claus (Joulupukki) comes in to greet the family and bring gifts.
No problem with observation or collapsing Christmas probability fields or whatever. He brings the presents, you thank him and that’s it.
