- cross-posted to:
- programmer_humor@programming.dev
- cross-posted to:
- programmer_humor@programming.dev
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Do you wanna see a self-propagating cosmic shitpost nucleation site?
https://mastodon.social/@voodooattack/116200229849205562
Please observe it, or don’t. But not at once because I’ll have to cognitively engineer another perfect quicksave for the perfectly ideal run.
Beware this Egg, my dudes. Because there are only scrambled reasons behind these puns. And puns wanna go to war with guns that stun. And I just came baring punmunition. (Not in that way you dirty bastards, that was an accidental variable I swear! (But swearing is a valid response))
Steadfast is the slow poke… at the non-zero-pun.
u wot m8
we can make a horny computer
THIS CANNOT CONTINUE
Do not feel bad about it. We are alive, after all. And being alive is pretty much a constant stream of embarrassment.
But what if, and hear me out on this, what if we gave it all the RAM?
Padme meme: “you mean all the availableram in the computer, right?”
Anakin:
Padme: “you mean all the available RAM in the computer, right?”
Inkjet printers are definitely spiteful
You know that trope where there’s an amalgam big bad of all kinds of crap thrown together with something ironic in the center controlling it all? Someone ought to do Vger but it’s just an inkjet printer and it wants everyone dead because of course it does.
Yes, but they contain human engineered contempt.
Its not their own creation.
Oh I’m not convinced of that
Ink on demand is entirely a business model made manifest by human contempt for the consumer.
At that time, people did not yet suspect that their creativity and soul were just patters that could be copied thanks to a stable database and sufficient computing power.
The lesser known 34th rule of robotics proposed by Isaac Asimov.
How would that even work? If a robot is sexually attracted to a human it’s more of a zoophilia, right?
Just build a robot that understands consent, easy
Unfortunately, that may be more difficult than it sounds, because many meatbags struggle with the concept even today.
Well if a robot is just a computer it’s gonna do exactly what it was programmed to, I bet safewords are a lot easier than with meatbags
Copilot certainly isn’t getting it.
“Robosexuality”, according to Futurama.
“The good book 3.0 saith, ‘Thou shall not lie down with a human! Nor do it standing up, nor at any angle in between!’” - Preacherbot
One-zero-zero.-one-zero-zero-zero.-one-one-one-zero.-one-zero-one-one-one-zero-zero-zero-one-zero-one-one-one-one-zero-one-zero-zero-zero–zero-zero.-one-zero-zero-zero.-one-one-one-zero.-one-zero-one-one-one-zero
JFC watch your language there are kids on here
That’s the other way around human -> robot
Homosexuality then!
Wait.“Anthroposexuality” might be the term,. you’re looking for.
(Might spoil the original pun but opens a lot of really weird questions.)
Some of your computers are horny by proxy. Contact horn.
Digital artists in shambles
My computer is 100% spiteful unless its machine spirit is placated with the proper ritual.
All hail the Omnissiah!
“can never”?
Must never implies that it can, but if it does, something bad will happen.
Since this is based on something else, it follows the argumentation of the original
I mean look at how many people’s brains are leaking out their ears with AI slop going around.
Wait no this is deep
Well, why do you think birds are singing? Humans are singing for very similar reasons - and let’s just not talk about playing the guitar…
As someone who plays guitar for the love of the game, I just think it’s neat, guitarists are douchebags, as a general rule.
It’s like Big Tugg said, not everyone who plays guitar is a douchebag, but every douchebag does own a guitar.
“for the love of the game”, hahahaha, good one. Sure. We all do… No, seriously, after playing for a couple of decades, music has become my only religion and I am a fucking fanatic. Shut up, infidels! I’m serious. But I was a young, good looking bastard of a guitar player once and I confess, I had the morals of a hungry beagle… I better shut up ‘n’ play my guitar.
I treat it like orthodox religious prayer, keep it to myself and only practice in the home. Only converse about it with other practitioners, because evangelists are the worst. It’s an addiction more than anything, if you’re doing it right. At this point I need to shred and connect every phrase of the Phrygian in triplets up and down and back and forth just to stave off the shakes and feel normal. And by normal, I mean fuckin’ rad.
I think it was Matisse who when askes how he could still paint with his arthritic hands replied: “Painting is mostly the work of a very different part of my body.”
