I think this is only bad if they don’t recognize their mistakes and just discourage you from even trying to achieve something.
Learning from other people’s mistakes is a useful skill.
So is people learning from their own mistakes, and many people never do. These skills come as a pair. The mistakes don’t have to be yours to learn, but it helps make the lesson far more impactful.
If a man didn’t make mistakes he’d own the world in a month.But if he didn’t profit by his mistakes he wouldn’t own a blessed thing.
-Jesse Livermore
Learning from experience
A professor once gave me similar advice when I was trying to get into grad school. I repeated a bunch of advice I had heard from other students who were struggling with the same thing, and he said “Why are you listening to them? Go ask the grad students here who have already gotten into grad school.”
It was such obvious advice in retrospect, but it was eye-opening for me at the time, and I’ve applied it to many other parts of life.
There is a difference between “advice” on how to do something vs. “advice” on what to avoid or how not to do it.
I would gladly take advice on how to do something from someone who succeeded, and I’d equally gladly take advice on what not to do from someone who failed.
They are both invaluable.
Rich person’s guide to getting rich: “It’s fairly simple. All it takes is a little bit of hard work, dedication, and an initial investment of five million dollars. I did it, my father did it, and his father and grandfathers did it before him. I come from a long line of self-made millionaires. It must be in our genes.”
You and I have differing definitions of success. 😂
It’s not my definition either, just riffing on a common trope.
Sometimes people who are considered successful at something are bad at teaching it, especially when they faced lower barriers to entry, whether for socioeconomic reasons or because the landscape has changed. A person who entered the workforce 10 or 20 years ago wouldn’t really be able to give good advice for finding an entry-level position in today’s job market. Another classic example is boomers telling millennials to work hard and buy a house.
Sometimes it is because a talent comes so naturally to someone that they don’t know what it’s like to have to struggle to learn it. Can you imagine taking music lessons from Mozart? He’d be like “Just play it! What do you mean you can’t?”
I know I could never tutor anyone in math. People used to ask me to explain how to solve something and I couldn’t comprehend what they didn’t understand about it, so I didn’t know how to start. I would just show them how to solve it, and they’d be like “all you did was solve it, that didn’t make things any clearer.” Well then I don’t know how to help 🤷♀️
People learn from mistakes, not success.
Agreed. The OP makes it sound like you should only take advice from successful people, but successful people might just be lucky. We should also be careful to not take investment advice from lottery winners.
Yep. In my experience the real trick is to find the value in advice, regardless of who/what/why (as I give this advice haha). For example, we’re trained to call out hypocrites but really, hypocrisy shouldn’t be immediately discounted just because it’s hypocrisy. A drug addict can absolutely tell someone they shouldn’t do drugs. Hypocritical? Yep. Good advice from someone who really knows? Also yep.
Critical thinking is the single most important skill a human can learn.
A drug addict can absolutely tell someone they shouldn’t do drugs. Hypocritical? Yep.
It’s not even hypocritical, the risk of addiction is literally the reason why you shouldn’t even try certain drugs, and the addict not being able to quit even though they know that it’s bad just proves the point.
Just watch out for people projecting their specific problems onto your situation when you don’t have those problems. Mostly a problem with unsolicited “advice”
listen to people who warn you about something that fucked them up.
don’t touch the fire - person with burned hands
People can give solid advice even when they are struggling or even when they failed in the same area. A smoker can tell you smoking is bad. Someone whose marriage ended can still recognize unhealthy patterns. Someone who made financial mistakes can warn you about the traps they fell into. Two things can be true at the same time.
A useful skill is learning to tell when advice is grounded in reflection versus when it is shaped by unprocessed regret. People often speak from a mix of past experience and current emotion. Some insights are helpful, some are fear driven, and it takes a little judgment to sort out which is which.
So instead of accepting or rejecting advice automatically, it helps to look at where it is coming from. Are they sharing something they have actually thought through, or are they reacting to their own past? The value of the advice depends less on whether their life went well and more on how honestly they have understood it.
“Don’t learn from other people’s mistakes, make your own so you too can become a jaded cunt.”
Sounds like a 5* skill to have…
Learning from your own mistakes is vital for improvement, but learning from other people’s mistakes, so you don’t have to suffer consequences, is a superpower.
Taking advice from people who are demonstrably bad at something, without any critical analysis, is also bad.
It would be nice if the post image included that somewhere instead of making a sweeping generalization.
Those are all experiences they had. Where the fuck else is advice gonna come from? At least someone who had a divorce knows more about marriage than someone who has never even gone on a date.
While true, it’s worth keeping the context in mind. At a work event I got seated with three divorced dudes who had like 6 wives between them. It was insufferable how much “advice” they offered and based on never having even met me before and the fact I was married kept insisting I would figure out my wife was cruel, vindicative, had no respect for me. and was cheating on me. Women were all terrible and a man could only live his best life without women. They were also grateful that when didn’t sit then with any of those “useless women”. I got told repeatedly how I should divorce and never date again.
See, that’s not advice on marriage, tho. I also have been divorced, and she literally was all those things. But I won’t say not to get married. Just don’t get married to my ex; she’ll fuck you up.
If anything, it’s advice on how to be a misersble, lonely bastard.
That is just shitty culture. Unlikely where I am from. Perhaps there is a jaded dude here or there, sure. Ganging up on someone telling them they should divorce? Sounds crazy.
Feel free to tell those people to just shut the hecc up.
“I did this and it was a mistake” is definitely useful advice. It might not necessarily be completely applicable to your situation, but learning from other people’s failures can be as useful as learning from other people’s success.
Especially when the most important elements of some people’s success is things like “Have rich parents”
survivorship bias speed run incoming
stop worrying about where advice comes from and just actually think about shit
That’s the first thing I thought when I read this post and I don’t understand why you are not upvoted more.
OP wants me to take advice from the person who won the lottery and disregard all the others who sunk stupid amounts of money and got nothing to show for it? I’d rather hear them all and make an informed decision.
I advise the opposite actually, seriously consider the source of the advice. I’ve seen people in relationships that I wouldn’t want to be in give relationship advice and I made a point to consider such advice as part of how you wind up in a relationship like that. Meanwhile I have people I respect and when they have advice on issues relating to why I respect them I take it seriously even if it’s something I would brush off from most people.
Now obviously think about all advice, but framing and weighing it off the advice giver is valuable. The positive financial advice (do this with your money) of a broke person is worth a lot less than the negative financial advice (don’t blow your money like I did on this) that they may have
you misunderstand, that’s the thinking part
put advice into context sure
but people just love to dismiss thoughts (including advice) because of their source
hell some of the best advice is in spite of their source and the opposite of their intent
Sounds more like linkedinlunatics than genuine advice.
Sounds like this guy keeps getting shitty advice from everyone. I’m not going to listen to someone like that.
Listening to the regrets of others in the context of their lives is how you get wisdom, at least without first hand experience from making the same mistakes.
I love that I had the same idea as most people in here. You level headed assholes are the best.
I learned from some family and friends without them even saying anything. I just see how they took care of their bodies and how broken they are. A co-worker told me she was sitting on the ground and needed someone to help her stand up. Some can’t walk, can’t bend over, can’t move their arms over their shoulder…Health is wealth. Take care of yourself.
I mean if they’re saying something like “don’t do this thing, because I did it and it was a mistake”. E.g. Don’t manipulate people for financial gain, because you will lose your friends and die alone like me". That’s good advice.
But if they’re saying something like “do this thing, because even though I failed, you will succeed”. E.g. Lie to people all you want, to gain what you want, just be smarter than me when doing it". That’s bad advice.
Advice given by the same person on the same topic, just with different morals.
What? The best thing you can do is to learn from other’s mistakes.
Yes it’s much better to get advice from people who don’t know what they’re talking about. Because why would you listen to someone who’s divorced about marriage it’s not like they’ve been married, oh wait.
I used to work in the trades and the worst advice I ever got was from older men who forced their advice on me. I never asked for their advice. They just felt the need to trauma dump on me for all their regrets by giving me “advice” that was always meant for their younger selves.
If I had ever taken any of their unasked and unwanted advice, I would have ended up as miserable as they were and feeling like I lived a life of regret.
The best advice I got from an old guy at work when I was young was “start putting 100 dollars extra into your super every pay” (old man wished he’d looked into saving for retirement a lot sooner), the worst was “save yourself some trouble and go find a woman you hate and buy her a house” (old man whose marriage was based on him not being there and which immediately broke down when he stopped working away and wished he’d never bothered with it).
I have nothing wrong with people sharing life experiences. I can learn from that.
I do have an issue with people forcing unasked advice on other people. That comes with judgement from a narrow perspective. That unwanted advice does not take my experiences, perspectives or my own future plans into consideration.
Someone elses lived experiences should not be forced on others. Someone else’s lived experiences can be shared in a way where it can create conversation or give others something to think about at a later time.
To me there is a difference.
In fairness, there may be times where unasked advice may be useful. For example someone’s immediate safety. However, in most other situation’s it’s not appropriate and often perceived as rude by the person receiving the unasked advice.
Yeah that’s fair, in my examples the first was offered through conversation, the second was offered whenever the guy wanted to complain. Two different old dudes.
