To be nice or friendly with kids.
As a man (I know starting a sentence that way can also be a red flag), I’m always nervous when kids interact with me.
It feels like I’m being judged harshly for just wanting to be friendly and that I could so quickly be accused of being a pervert or worse.
So I just don’t interact with them.
My policy as a recently new father will also probably be that I won’t have my daughter’s friends over when I’m the only adult present.
Get this: my friend is “not allowed” to be left alone with his daughter. His own daughter. If wife needs to go out without baby, baby gets dropped off at grandparents (wife’s parents) instead of just staying home with dad. What’s even more ridiculous is his profession is early childhood educator. He’s more qualified than most other parents out there, male or female. I don’t know how he puts up with being insulted like that.
He’s probably been trained to expect heavy punishment for standing up for himself
Of course it makes little sense that he would go along with this. But why in god’s name would she want to stay married to someone she doesn’t trust with his own children?
That’s beyond insulting, I’d call that a controlling / abusive relationship. And if his wife seriously thinks he’s a risk to their child why the fuck would she have a baby with him and stay with him? That poor kid is going to grow up with a really damaging view of men, male / female relationships, and parental relationships.
That’s actually disgusting. Does he want it like this for some reason? Is there something in the past? Or is it just “penises will rape, that’s what they do”?
I don’t know how he puts up with it, but I do know why. He was alone since he was a teen, and now his wife and in-laws are his only family. His dream has always been having a family and community. He’ll bend over backwards to please his in-laws. It’s unfortunate they treat him like that, and while his wife is sweet, she’s a pushover and doesn’t stand up for him.
Why the in-laws are like that? I don’t know.
Why the in-laws are like that? I don’t know.
Projection. Definitely projection. Makes me trust them a lot less & I’m scared for that little girl.
I HAVE been accused of being a pervert, once, and it was fucking weird
Was at the store and some kid walked up to me thinking I was my dad (works at a local school and we look a lot alike, have the same name even)
Told the kid nah, that he had mistaken me for my dad, and then suddenly his mom appears and grabs the kid while telling me to “stay away from her kid you long haired freak”
Again, I look like my dad (he also has long hair) to the point of this kid mistaking me for him, yet I was still some random creep to this lady
People stop seeing normal human dudes in public once a kid is around and it can really suck sometimes
I had the cops called on me for taking my own kids to the park.
What kind of society or culture considered being friendly towards children a red flag? Spoken as both a father of two and former child: you can be friendly to children without being a creep.
Spoken as a non-father it’s not so easy.
I accept the risk because I refuse to participate in a system that cuts off kids from the adults around them, but I know that when I talk to a child I’m almost certainly going to be seen as a pedophile for it.
I was going for just being nice and helpful.
Taking some time to calm down during a fight if getting angry/sad/whatever.
The other party might think that you are running away.Make sure they know that you continue once calmed down.
It’s very important, if you need, to take a short rest to recover some HP at the least or a long rest if you need your party at full fighting potential.
Well, maybe so.
They will put your intimidation, charisma and other skills related to the Ultimate test nevertheless!
If a person can readily describe their failings it could seem like a red flag because they have failings, but everyone has failings and being aware of them is a positive.
Also, the only way one can improve themselves is if they acknowledge their failings first. It doesn’t have to be public, but if it is, it means they have already made their first step.
If you don’t cringe at some of your behaviors 10 years ago, then you’re either a a teenager or somehow stopped maturing.
Idk. I recognize a lot of my beliefs and behaviours as cringe, but I think I’ve cringed so hard at them that I’m now on the other side of that. I look back at my ignorant, gullible, past-self with compassion and the understanding that I’m still likely holding on to incorrect beliefs (and that I’ll likely continue to grow through them) It’s partly why I tend to be so argumentative, I think. (How do you grow without challenge?)
I currently hold the belief of: Love yourself, it’ll help to generate more compassion for those around you
(Though I confess I still have many moments of wanting to call people idiots, and it takes a lot to realize that I, too, could be the idiot. It’s a process, ya know?)
Being underemployed. As long as they meet their obligations, I applaud people who don’t live for work.
Not having a Facebook profile. I’ve had someone initially refuse to associate with me on the basis that they couldn’t investigate my life beforehand.
I just laughed and asked them how they managed to survive before the Internet (we were both old enough). We both got over the weirdness of the situation, built a robot, and were friends for a while before they moved away.
I’m sad now that I’ve never had a “build a robot together” friend
Well, you can have one now, if you want!
I usually build around the Pi pico as a brain, L9110 motor controllers, N20 DC brushed motors, and a standard 18650 lithium cell, and some generic BMS + switch mode voltage converters. From there you can either add sensors and make it autonomous (more challenging), or just control it via your smartphone (easier). You can either make it omnidirectional with mecanum wheels, (more expensive) or turn/forward/back motion only with a differential drive.
Along the way you’ll learn to solder and code, if you don’t know already. It’s a suitable beginner to intermediate project. Most of the work is knowing what cheap parts work well together (read and interpret lots of datasheets), actually assembling and using the robot is pretty easy. Usually I can keep cost under 50$, but parts are cheap here – certainly under 75$ in the West though.
Well damn… Now I have another project!
I have a Pi 3 sitting around that I used to use for Octoprint, but when I rearranged my workstation I didn’t have room for the monitor so I just went back to SD carding it. I picked up an end of service Chromebook that I was going to dump Linux on and make it my new print server, so the Pi is free.
I’m going to end up with my own little astromech Droid!
That’s a bit overkill in terms of processing power, but it will definitely work! It’s actually powerful enough to do machine vision and mapping!
One thing to remember is that the current draw for the Pi 3 will be much higher than the Pi Pico. Some students have had battery issues using motors + the Pi at the same time. They got the batteries in a sketchy industrial market here in VN though, so they were definitely not rated for very high current. This is one reason I use the Pi Pico and low power 6V motors – it runs all day of a single very questionable lithium cell. Boots in milliseconds too, vs. much longer on Raspberry Pi + Debian, at the risk of comparing apples and oranges.
Another thing that was annoying, is to remember to put nonpolar capacitors across your motors if building your own motor controllers (most modules you buy will do this for you). Otherwise, noise from the e.g. brushed motors will probably make the Pi reboot constantly. I had this problem pretty bad – it worked fine hand-soldered but when I got the boards from the factory it would fail often unless I put the caps in.
Anyway, if you’re short on time and want to get the project done, there’s also a thing called the Motorshield that will let you very quickly build a robot from the Pi you have. There are also LiDAR shields if you want to try mapping and fancy autonomous navigation. If you want cheap, you can’t beat this motor controller module though (and you’ll just need 1 for a differential-drive rover):
https://hshop.vn/products/mach-dieu-khien-dong-co-dc-l9110
You can generally find it anywhere in the world!
What was the robot for?
Signing up for facebook
Everything was going well until the box I am not a robot had to be checked…
For increasing the number of robots in the world, mainly!
I create things for filthy lucre all day at work – “those must stoop, who gather gold”. In my limited spare time, I mostly do the opposite – I create things mostly just to create things, I don’t worry about practical applications :D
I do design robots for STEM education at work though, and it shared a lot with those designs…
Any size.
If you’re colorblind.
All these stupid “ignore them to seem attractive because interested = unsexy”
Not being a virgin anymore? Thats something good too.
Having actively broken up a past relationship, knowing barriers.
Hanging out with friends rather than you sometimes, which is really important “relationship time management”
Not being a virgin anymore? Thats something good too.
I find it absurd that virginity or lack thereof has any bearing.
I guess it feels magical to be someone’s first.
But as @otp said - experience brings knowledge of yourself and others and can make stuff more enjoyable and easier to do.True, prior experience does bring prior knowledge of yourself, but for me, exploration has always been a key factor in a relationship, in all aspects. Like, what new memories did you make together, what unique things did you do together, etc.
Exploration of the self should be a constant thing, and while it’s certainly no bad thing to have some basics checked off, that kind of discovery should be happening in meaningful relationships whether it’s your first or your hundredth.
exploration has always been a key factor in a relationship
Nothing wrong with that.
We have new things to experience in other stuff of life too..
Exploration of the self should be a constant thing
You can do it in many different surroundings and variables. Another situation teaches X better than another. Some situation might not teach anything.
So, you can learn things about yourself in a relationship or after that never occurred to you before.
Any bearing might be taking it a bit far. If we’re both in our 30s and you’ve never had a relationship grow to the place of trust where sex occurs, I’m very interested in the why. It’s not an automatic deal breaker either way, but as you age, it does communicate something about you, at least in Western cultures where sex outside of marriage is hardly taboo.
I would say it’s fair to ask why, so long as there isn’t any sort of judgement attached.
Some people simply choose not to and that’s fine. It may not be how you and I live but it’s a valid choice.
Some people don’t wanna do it before wedlock. Also a valid choice but you do need to consider if that works for you.
Some also have traumas around the subject, like if their only experience was sexual assault or rape.
If it turns out the reasons are to do with simply being undesirable for one reason or another, chances are you’ll notice those before you notice the fact they haven’t had sex.
Also the reason could be that they’re just not interested in sex. There’s nothing wrong with that, but I have no interest in a sexless relationship. I want to be with someone who has a similar attitude towards and drive for sex.
And what does it communicate ? I’m genuinely curious.
That’ll vary from person to person, as it can give insight into how they see themselves and what they expect of relationships, possibly other very different things. After all, someone remaining virgin because they firmly believe it should only happen after marriage is very different from someone who is just too socially awkward. A past trauma could also be a reason, so, again, it’s something to better know and understand the person.
There’s no way to know until you ask, but to me it might mean that they have quite low self esteem, or the opposite, that they have an inflated view of themselves that no one was good enough for them.
It could also communicate that sex or physical intimacy is not important to them. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, but it would certainly affect my interest in anything past a platonic friendship with them.
Lol that like about anything about your life isn’t it? Why is this more important than anything else?
I was only disputing that op said it should have “no bearing” not that it’s the most important thing.
Also though, compatible levels of interest in sex is extremely important in monogamous relationships. For any other interest or need I can engage alone or with friends if my partner isn’t interested. For sex, I need my partner to be on board.
Here you’re supposing that a virgin will be by choice.
I don’t think I would want to date someone that was a virgin; they wouldn’t know what they actually liked or didn’t like (fantasies are significantly different from real life; the things you fantasize about may not work for you IRL), and I wouldn’t be interested in trying to guide them to a conclusion that may not align with my desires at all.
I had a partner that did all of that for me, and in the end, we weren’t aligned. She ultimately didn’t get what she wanted, because we couldn’t reach an agreement. Or, we couldn’t reach an agreement until it was too late.
Hmm. Good point.
Some of us are ready to try that stuff out too, but there are risks involved that you mentioned.
Them being happy for how they are, like myself being happy while larger.
Especially when it’s something that goes against “societal norms” like diet culture.
Close to where I was aiming
Each and every person is born with a preference of how they want to be, including body size.
Having a diet for weight loss when this is done in complete free will, safety and love for self should be absolutely celebrated. And the exact same is for having a diet for weight gain. As long as it’s for reaching what the person feels the most comfortable in being, that being (almost) any variation strong, thin or fat, it should be celebrated.
What I was trying to say is the beauty of being happy in whatever body you are, or want to have. Everyone should be completely free to be the real them, and what they think suits them the most.
For people who value reading: if they have no books on their shelves. They might be avid readers of ebooks, or just use the library.
But this should clear itself up with a rather simple discussion started by mentioning a book you read recently.
But not having books on your shelves is not a green flag, it just might not be a red flag.
Making life choices different from the societal standard (e.g. not wanting children or not wanting a marriage). Sure, if your own desires are incompatible with that you might need to find someone else but a lot of people who do go with the societal standard actually just do so because they never thought about alternatives and have a rather romanticized notion of that default option and might still grow to regret it later which can then often lead to breakups/divorce if that only happens to one partner in the relationship. People who make different choices at least thought about what they want. Basically you want a partner who has already thought about these and not one who only discovers their actual preferences on these options a few years into your relationship.
Being a healthy weight - as misinterpreted by shallow young people that “want dat thigh gap”.
“Thigh gap” doesn’t typically happen at a healthy weight. That’s usually a sign of being underweight.
Do people still talk about thigh gaps? I know there’s still an unhealthy obsession with being underweight, but I thought that went out of style with Kony 2012.
Not talking all the time when spending time together. Being able to just quietly enjoy each other’s company sometimes is actually a good thing since it allows both partners to relax without constantly worrying about keeping their partner’s attention or keeping them entertained.
Currently sitting next to silent bf silently. We just grunt at each other for days in a row. Live with someone wanting constant interaction = hell.
Chemistry and attraction.
How is that a red flag? Did you misread the OP’s question?
Loads of people have habitual attraction to unhealthy relationship patterns.
Being drawn to the same kind of asshole over and over can feel like a chemical green flag, wisdom and experience show it’s a red flag and things always end the same unhappy way
Fair enough, but it’s not like you should pursue people you don’t find attractive or have any chemistry with. That’s more of a self-red-flag that you need to work on yourself before get out there.
When lust was just the appetizer before love, not just empty calories as usual.
