Israel’s military announced on Friday morning… - theguardian.com
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Edit
I had to add the QR code stuff to the title. It’s a vital Onion detail I forgot to put in.
QR codes to a website in a territory without power or telecom
Anybody who is falling for this is so stupid I wonder how they remember to breathe
Next they’ll demand people to install the IDF app to get timely notifications of when you’ll get bombed.
Did we mention you must give the app access to your location information for it to function?
And even if the information were accessible, the IOF has bombed the shit out of supposed safe corridors since like day one of this genocide, why would anyone believe them about safe zones now?
the website probably also installs some crazy malware too
Oh we don’t have paper bombing schedules anymore. Just scan the QR code on the table for the full map with quadrants along with any daily specials.
I commented this on another thread earlier this week but it is even more relevant now so I’m just going to leave it here again:
"But the plans were on display…”
“On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.”
“That’s the display department.”
“With a flashlight.”
“Ah, well, the lights had probably gone.”
“So had the stairs.”
“But look, you found the notice, didn’t you?”
“Yes,” said Arthur, “yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying ‘Beware of the Leopard.'"
-Douglas Adams, Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
It dropped leaflets on Gaza with a QR code to a website
When your genocide is being run by Applebee’s corporate project managers
“Will it actually prevent civilian casualties? No. Will it allow us and our Western allies to produce propaganda to shift the blame to the victims for being killed? And how!”IDF spokesman Eric Evil-Vicious: “We reject the tragic loss of life of the family of 27. However - munitions fell in the appropriate ‘no-go’ square. Instructions and warnings must be followed. Sad as it is - the family clearly caused their own demise. They set up their tents 200 meters inside the ‘no-go’ square.” The interview ends and CNN does an hasbara explainer by an American ex-general with 3D graphics of data and maps showing the safe squares and the ‘no-go’ squares.
Just turning Gaza into a giant fortnite map with an ever shrinking number of safe zones.
Bibi had an idea to win over the zoomers.
broke: turning Gaza into Fortnite
woke: turning Israel into Fortnite
I’m sure it’ll be real easy for 2 million people to move freely between all of those miniscule zones.
Eyyy Ton, I’m starting to think dissemination of information and minimizing casualties isn’t the purpose of this little stunt
Unironically making the entire population of the Gaza Strip do a squid game
This was part of the plot of Battle Royale.
There IOF is doing a Survival Game.
“My phone died.”
Isreal: … Terrorism.
Playing lethal red light green light with millions of displaced people.
red light green light
That cartoon is in my mind all the time now. Every day I wonder if the IDF will create a brand new example that the American media will actually take seriously.
Making the safe zones fluid and incomprehensible so when you carry on the bombings like they don’t exist and people complain that you hit civilians you can go “They probably didn’t follow the map lol too bad”
i definitely trust the psychopaths who have repeatedly bombed their designated “safe areas” to suddenly stop doing that
We declared the zone unsafe 35 seconds prior the the JDAM falling. Therefore no one can be mad
Pokémon go die of starvation in Sinai.
![[Not the Onion] The IDF to Gazans - find the safe square with the QR codes or die. Boom. Oops. We changed the map without telling you. Sorry.](https://hexbear.net/pictrs/image/40f7fc9d-d4d7-431c-a5ad-d16dc9bb5a82.png){kind=link}