The orc cheiftain recoils back with a thud! He calls out “I don’t really want to do this right now. I’m gonna go home and look for more vintage axes.”

The shaman was also within range and…

is completely unaffected! “I don’t feel different. What does that mean? What does that mean?!”

AAAAUUURRGHHH NOOooooo…
Oh divines have mercy, our Great city is horribly designed! How did i not realize this before?!
I- I can’t go on like this, the knowledge of how suboptimal it all is gnaws at my very soul… To the depths with adventuring, i must join the civil council and rectify this atrocity.

But…I dont feel any different?

That’s not autism, that’s Kamehameha.

So making your opponent possibly stronger?

I cast “Conjure Awkward Spoon”