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As if I can be helped lol
It’s all downhill from here, and I’m running out of hill
BPD moment
Oof. This is very much me. >_<"
Warning: annoying whining ahead!
I reeeally struggle to ask for help, to the point that I usually just flat-out can’t. I always feel like such a bothersome pain in the ass, and I never wanna be a bother!! I hate it!! But, logically, I know that I’m never going to be able to escape my living situation or improve my healthcare situation without asking for (and receiving) a ton of help… But I can’t ask for as much help as I’d need, no matter how hard I try. So I feel very stuck. Blaaaaargh!!
Anywho, thanks for sharing this. <3 I feel seen…but my heart breaks for everyone else who feels this way!! :( 🫂
I feel you. I struggle with this too. I’ve got better at it in recent years, but it’s still tough, and I’ve found that when circumstances get rough in a manner that makes me need more help, it becomes harder to ask for help.
It’s weird to think of “asking for help” as a skill that can be trained, but that’s certainly my experience. Thinking about it that way helped me though, because it pushed me to try asking for help on smaller, low stakes things first, which made things easier in the future.
I often saw that when I did ask for help in these smaller things, that the person helping me would often be super happy to be able to help, especially if they have a lot of stuff going on in their life that they’re struggling with. Being able to help me seemed to give them a slice of agency that they desperately needed. Sometimes having helped me with a thing made them feel more comfortable asking for help for themselves, which is a dynamic I’m much more comfortable with. I like to feel useful.
Showing my own vulnerability as a stepping stone towards being able to be of service to other people is some pretty intense mental gymnastics (compared to, you know, just valuing myself and treating myself as inherently deserving of help), but whatever works, works ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
meow? 🫂🌸
This is all fine and dandy until you do ask and they are stumped.
At least then you know it’s not a “you” problem
too real. I can never ask for help when i need it, I don’t want to bother anyone. I know I need help but there’s something just stopping me from asking. So I just suffer on my own rather than get help. End up in bed crying for a huge chunk of the day instead of doing anything.
You don’t know, if you don’t try. And if you don’t keep trying, no matter how hard, then you won’t ever. Give chances to yourself. Again and again.
