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You know it’s going to be bad when it’s almost literally called the “think of the children bill”
its been 10 yeares since satire is dead. but jfc this is yet another stark reminder how dead it is.
The “Pro-Ice Cream And Puppies And Anti-Terrorism And Hurting Children Bill” passes unopposed.
My kids are getting mini PC’s for Christmas, preinstalled with Mint. They use tablets now, but I want to introduce them to the joys of keyboards and mice (and The Secret of Monkey Island). I hope they’ll like it, so that in the future they’ll stick to PC’s and laptops, which offer far more robust control by the end user.
Funnily enough my eldest is getting a laptop this Christmas. Arch Linux with a heavily locked-down environment (I’ve disabled WiFi on the non-root account, even). She’s just about to turn 7 – how old are yours?
6 and 7. For now, I’ll be monitoring their activity, and we’ll see whether they’ll need any locks. Probably internet filtering on the router.
Fucking fascists everywhere.
Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was ‘Oh no, not again.’
Did they ever punish ‘Prince’ Andrew for raping those kids?
The year is 2031. Every phone comes with government mandated, pre-installed spyware scanning everyone incoming and outgoing message. VPNs are illegal now and special police units track and stop anyone with unauthorized account. Random stops and phone searches make sure no one is using modded ROMs. Failure to unlock phone for police is punishable with long prison terms.
People seeking privacy (i.e. criminals) resort to drastic measures to evade those new rules. Unlocked phones are smuggled through the channel but it’s to risky to carry them around or even to connect them to the network. “Privacy phones” are usually carried in the ass and only taken out for a quick PornHub session or to post illegal meme to lemmy. ROM updates are only traded underground and getting the images is more dangerous than trading drugs. Police informants are everywhere. Truly, the darkest days for privacy online.
On the bright side pedophilia was completely eradicated and all the children are safe now.
You forgot the part where the authorities now have to routinely search every child’s ass for “privacy phones” but thankfully children are finally safe from pedophiles.
On the bright side pedophilia was completely eradicated and all the children are safe now.
the most uncanny line in the whole post
It’s the rfid and GPS trackers installed in the genitals starting in 2035 that really does it
Unlocked phones are smuggled through the channel
Those come bound with both, government and criminal malware.
On the bright side pedophilia was completely eradicated and all the children are safe now.
Lol no!
Fuck the UK at this point
Itt: people not thinking about the children
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Children’s_Wellbeing_and_Schools_Bill
https://bills.parliament.uk/publications/62773/documents/7086 (the text of the bill).
The passages quoted on Mastodon appear not to exist in the text of the bill as passed and as sent to the Lords. It’s mainly about safeguarding kids in care.
I had to hunt to find them, they are proposed amendments and not yet part of the bill.
Go here https://bills.parliament.uk/bills/3909/publications
And expand out ‘Ammendment Papers’ and choose ‘ HL Bill 135 Running list of amendments – 22 December 2025‘
It’s this doc
https://bills.parliament.uk/publications/64067/documents/7529
For example
LORD NASH BARONESS CASS BARONESS BENJAMIN
_ After Clause 27, insert the following new Clause—
“Action to prohibit the provision of VPN services to children in the United Kingdom (1) Within 12 months of the day on which this Act is passed the Secretary of State must, for the purpose of furthering the protection and wellbeing of children, make regulations which prohibit the provision to UK children of a Relevant VPN Service (the “child VPN prohibition”). (2) Regulations under subsection (1)— (a) may make provision for the provider of a Relevant VPN Service to apply to any person seeking to access its service in or from the UK age assurance which is highly effective at correctly determining whether or not that person is a child; (b) must apply the child VPN prohibition to the provider of any Relevant VPN Service which is, or is likely to be— (i) offered or marketed to persons in the United Kingdom; (ii) provided to a significant number of persons. © must make provision for the monitoring and effective enforcement of the child VPN prohibition. …
This is total vpn prohibition if you have to hand your personal data to the provider
Time for a feature phone.
Or just GrapheneOS?
Too expensive
…it’s free
A google pixel is very very far from being free
Bought my Pixel 7a new for 230 EUR. Pixel tablet new for 399 EUR. Both on GOS. These are very ok prices, for the hardware quality.
No one said anything about a Google Pixel. But since you did, they can be had used very inexpensively.
Yeah, it sounds good until the current or next leaders use it to arrest people because they don’t like the current leadership or a miriad of other things they don’t want people thinking, regardless of what side they’re on. I would gladly take privacy and security over throwing the baby out with the bathwater, especially with legislation and law that immediately treats you like a prisoner.
Yeah, it sounds good until…
Nope
Yeah i rather if children and young people where not used as tools for fascist desires.
UK was brought into its own tomb by itself, courage and hope must be more and more rare as a result…
I can only see the first post in the thread 😩
Can we take an ‘industry regulates itself’ approach to this? Make a foss csam hash scanner and include it in aosp. When they try to pass these show them that it already exists. That way we at least have some transparency to what it does
