Is it clear?
Every piece of love advice I received as a kid in the 90s and 00s was equivalent to “try harder” or “pursue” or “don’t give up” and they made it sound so good. My poor wife… The early years couldn’t have been easy for her.
You’re not alone. Same. My wife is wonderful and I’m glad she challenged me to question some of my behaviors.
Hey Alec thanks so much for stopping by! We’re trans inclusive women only so please don’t comment again and have a lovely weekend
Hey I’m a woman, why do you feel the need to say trans inclusive, and not just “women only” this is my first time discovering this instance. And it comes off as performative although I see you’re drawing a line in the sand between you and the terfs-- but imo you’re just acknowledging the existence of terfs more than validating trans women.
I don’t think it’s a useful strategy to not acknowledge the existence of terfs or trans people. In a lot of similar communities there is always the question of whether trans people are actually included or not, and even if so, who under the trans spectrum, which always makes me uncertain about my place.
And also, just ignoring problems such as terfs is not a solution. They exist whether their existence is acknowledged or not, sweeping things under the rug isn’t helpful
Though, yeah, it is made clear in the rules, which I appreciate
Hey Mika welcome to WomensStuff we’re really glad to have you. I say it for several reasons, including that we welcome all groups under the trans umbrella.
Hey Quantum thanks for your perspective! We’re a trans inclusive women only community so please dont comment again thanks for understanding 😊
Are you sure they’re not trans?
I’m not. Blocking the community.
For enforcing the rules? Seems a little harsh
I’m sure you’ll be missed greatly. Everybody misses people who casually break the rules and then get pissed off when politely asked to abide by them. Their contributions would undoubtedly have been completely and utterly priceless.
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Buy-bye! Don’t let the door hit you on the way out. It’s a bit heavy and leads to some awkward stumbling.
I’m go glad my mom taught me from a young age that no means no whether I say it or others do. Unfortunately the latter stuck harder than the former… Well actually if only one could stick I suppose the better did
A gross retort I heard that’s always stuck with me: “a boyfriend’s a speed bump, not a stop sign”
🤮
Wish I could go back to my younger self just so I could tell that guy (and the others) to go fuck themselves.
“just because there’s a goalie doesn’t mean you can’t score”
🤮
yeah me too
Oh wow! That’s somehow even grosser than the speed bump thing! 😮
I knew a girl who said I wasn’t a man if I took no for an answer. She ended up raping me and giving me a disease but as a victim there was nothing I could do.
Cool story, bro. One that totally happened, I’m sure. Maybe you should share it in a group where your posting isn’t explicitly against the rules?
One that totally happened, I’m sure.
what do you mean by this?
Thanks for all your reports in this thread guys! Really appreciate you helping the mods keep WomensStuff safe
Thanks to the mods for the unrewarding work of filtering away the incels, MGTOW, MRA, PUA, and “nice guys” that tend to plague any women’s space.
You’re welcome ZDL 😊
“aaahhhhahaha okayyy…”, also no. But I probably need to work on being more direct.
Yeah I do basically the same thing, it’s rough when you actually want something but on the outside seem uncertain or reserved because you internally constantly think people hate you haha. And then it makes it difficult for the other person
Probably why I enjoy saying like “do whatever unless I say [safe word]”. But still something that I need to work on, and actually be like, directly communicating. It’s healthy
Edit: on a second read, I slightly misinterpreted your comment, but I’ll leave it
Eh, it goes both ways. I don’t ask for what I want or object clearly to the things I don’t want. One of the many reasons I have just decided to abstain from absolutely everything for now. Still haven’t figured out the correct way to accept a drunken compliment without accidentally inviting further advances though.
“Thank you for the compliment. Pity I can’t return it.”
That would likely end any further conversation along those lines.
Or to put it in the words of The Monks: “Nice legs, shame about yer face.”
Pull my finger.
Bananahamock
Respect women with attitude.
I love this comment because I read it as show your respect via attitude.
I’m drunk is not an invitation. Fucken maggots.
Love this!!
Everyone deserves to be heard, especially when they so “no”.
Even if it is about vaccines.
It’s a desire not a drive.
Also, if she SHOULD mean yes but says no she doesn’t deserve it, for bad communication skills.
“I have a boy/girlfriend” doesn’t necessarily mean anything. Times have changed, folks.
“I have a boy/girlfriend” is supposed to stop you.
"Do you mind that I have a boy/girlfriend? " is meant to keep your interest while being transparent.
Know what is being said.
I disagree with this sentiment that you are trying to convey. If language has to have intent assumed outside of context especially if the context is no – “no” should just be said and that should be respected fully.
I mean if you’re in a situation and they say “I have a boy/girlfriend” you could say “is that a no?” If for some reason you think it might not be.
Should is doing a lot of work here. Sadly no isn’t respected still.
It must be nice to live in a world where there are zero men who behave like mental toddlers in the bodies of, well, men who become a real threat when told simple words like “no”.
Most of us don’t live in that world, but are insanely jealous of those of you who apparently do.
While I agree with you in principle, unfortunately a lot of people feel pressured to “soften the blow” from learned experiences or trauma or whatever else might be the case, as it’s not always the case that people take “no” for an answer and handle it respectfully. It’s a defense strategy
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This right here. Context is king, yo!
If someone is daying it in response to you hitting on them, it definitely does mean something. Even if someone might potentially be open to poly in another situation, if you’re like “hey you’re cute, wanna hang out” and they come back with “i have a partner” then thats them blowing you off for sure.
Yes, even us polyam people can understand this.
Incorrect, even us polyamorous people understand its intended meaning.
It never “necessarily” meant anything. But even today it usually means something. And specifically if it’s being used in response to a pass, it means “NO”.
But you probably already knew that, right? You’re just arguing to be argumentative, right?
🙄
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“Yes” means “Yes, but I reserve the right to say no at any point.”
Yes, consent can be revoked at any time.
You say this like it’s a bad thing. Or am I misreading?
It was in response to another post.
It’s not a bad thing.
OK, just checking. :) Thanks for clarifying.
Sometimes even yes means no. Plenty of women still have an ‘I have to please’ chip on their shoulder and haven’t fully fleshed out their own boundaries.
The golden rule is, if there’s too much confusion in the yes/no department, you’re misaligned and it’s probably healthiest to move on.
Although I get your point, the other side of the coin is that plenty of guys are really bad at picking up on emotional cues. So unless you actually say no, not all guys will understand yes is actually no.
Hey king thanks for swinging by! We’re trans inclusive women only so please don’t comment again thanks for understanding 😊
Oh sorry. Someone gendered me for me apparently.
I understand what you’re trying to do. Seeing how you’re actively trying to keep a part of the userbase out, perhaps you can reduce the mod load by having a private community for this. Better yet would be a c/womenstuffopen community that automatically mirrors posts from the private community into open discussion for all (including those who don’t wish to be publicly gendered).
Feel free to delete all my stuff and ban me too (no offence taken) as I will probably respond to something else again if it pops up in my feed and I find it interesting.
Thanks for your suggestion King! Think it’s best I politely ban you so that you don’t forget and comment. Really appreciate your consideration ❤️
You broke one of the only rules, knowing the rules, to post this uninspiring, milquetoast comment that doesn’t add anything of value to an already crystal-clear message?
I’ll agree with the others here, “Yes” only means “Yes” if it’s enthusiastic, legal, and ongoing.
I’ll delete it. I’m sorry.
Delete this too, you shouldn’t be here.
@LadyButterfly@piefed.blahaj.zone
Here’s another one.
They know they shouldn’t, and then they do anyway?
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Hey Zach thanks so much for saying hi! I agree with your comment, but we are trans inclusive women only so please don’t comment again 🥰
Right?!
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What on earth.
I was gonna have my own qualms with this post until I read this guy’s comment and now I’m just gonna leave that be. Don’t wanna be grouped in with that lot.
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It’s not, but if you actually need a rebuttal, let’s go:
- insecure pose is related to its brethren of other insecure poses, such as the peace sign ✌️😉✌️, tongue sticking out😜, duck lips😙
What about this pose is in any way insecure? She is confidently giving the finger to those who don’t respect consent.
- there is this weird lust for such poses
This is your own opinion and not substantiated by anything here as far as I can see.
- the brand clothing indicating commodity fetishism aka lust
There’s nothing wrong with people liking brand-name clothes. You personally may have a beef with it but calling it ‘lust’ is not justified by anything in the image.
- the coffee indicating lack of self control and gluttony/lust aka addiction
Again with the ‘lust’? Coffee is such a normal thing. There’s nothing here to indicate she’s addicted, or a glutton, or in any way out of control. You’re reading an insane amount into this simple drawing.
- expectation for others to read your mind when speaking indirectly, vaguely, or with innuendo
It’s not an expectation. She’s spelling out exactly the ways in which people try to ignore a woman’s lack of consent.
- closed-mindedness to the world of opportinity
Opportunity to what, have sex she doesn’t want to have? Are you serious right now?
- the sublte implication of superiority
Substantiate this please, because again, there’s nothing in the image supporting this claim.
- the callous disregard for the other person
You mean the person who’s callously disregarding her by ignoring the very clear lack of consent? Because that’s the type of person this image is aimed at.
- the lack of empathy
Same comment as above. Who exactly does she owe empathy?
- the excessive self-conciet and pride in oneself
Again, totally unsubstantiated in the image. She’s allowed to be proud of herself just like anybody else, but there’s nothing excessive here.
You’ve read a lot of nonsense into this image. Maybe have a think about why that is.
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I think you should pay more attention to what the common denominator is if this happens to you in all the platforms.
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“Are women bourgeois?”
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Here’s my best articulation for why this post irks me:
You are so fucking full of yourself that you are currently inhaling your own intestinal methane using the most efficient placement possible.
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Are you okay?
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Totally clear. 👍
