Rule #2 is possibly our most important one:
Be respectful. Everyone should feel welcome here.
Learn to disagree without being rude or disrespectful.
It can be difficult sometimes, since western social media thrives on collective outrage, and they knowingly ingrain this into us for years. But please do adhere to this rule, and it will make this place much more enjoyable.
We will not hesitate to issue temp bans (usually a day or two) for those who make everyone’s experience unpleasant.Hit the report button if you see this behavior.
Thanks!
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Good advice for life outside in the real world as well whenever possible. You can disagree without going thrermonuclear.
“YOU” are not your argument. Disagreement is not an attack on you as an individual and should not be taken as such.
Why do you hate me and attack me so ruthlessly 😭
First thing I read on Lemmy and it’s like I’ve found emotionally intelligent people finally.
I saw the same thing on Mastadon, just normal people capable of handling their emotions.
Western social media (and television) is promoting the worst in people and it can make users believe everyone is insane. So it’s very nice to see this being posted.
Thanks!
I really like the fediverse. I made a Mastodon account after Elon bought Twitter, because it was pretty clear he was disingenuous. On one hand, he said he wanted to “promote free speech” but on the other hand it seemed like he was focusing on one particular kind of speech (i.e. bigotry). It’s nice to see posts like this saying that lemmy hopes to be a different form of social media.
But… I can’t help but feel like there may be a similar disingenuous story going on, as much as I hate to say it. I want the fediverse to grow into a safe place for anyone to express themselves. And it’s hard to see that happening when the developers (and moderators of the original instance, lemmy.ml) are unapologetic authoritarians. When they say they want people to be respectful, there seems to be a double meaning. After all, banning people for talking about human rights violations doesn’t seem to be conducive to an open, honest platform where people can express themselves. The developers of lemmy are, sadly, committed to the ideas of old-school authoritarian governments. And I worry that’s going to be a damaging force in what could have otherwise been a wonderful platform. Just my two cents.
May I add:
- “disagreeing is not hating”
Even ChatGPT can get this.
ChatGPT has more social skills than a lot of people do…
Except when it’s about THAT topic, of course…
You mean racism, sexism, and homo/transphobia? Yeah. I hear ya on that!
Only one of those is called in otherwise entirely sane situations
…huh?
It’s nice to have a place where I can ask genuine questions without being called a complete idiot just for asking.
this! I hope we stay such a friendly and open-minded community where one doesn’t have to fear to say/write their thoughts.
Good luck with that. Knowing were the exodus has come from. We can start vetting the new users but this is not proven effective.
Malicious reporting can also become a problem if we start being trigger happy on banning users.
That is of course quiet a difficult task. And will be very much in the hands of the moderators. Just like the countless mods that voluntarily keept reddit running. I’am quiet positive that we cant accomplish that even better here.
I am like a veteran to this site because i joined 3 years before new people moved to here
I agree with this post and I think that its important to have a post like this to remind people.
Sounds pretty fascist to me /s
Could we also have a rule saying that downvotes should not be used for disagreements? Downvotes should be meant for off-topic, or factually incorrect content. Disagreements should be debated in the comments, respectfully of course.
While I personally never downvote anyone for disagreeing, I don’t think it’s possible, or desirable, to try to create rules around how people use their preference buttons.
But I def suggest going into your settings and hiding vote scores, as that’s psychologically better for most people.
I was a big fan of seeing both the upvote and downvote numbers, just to know that there was someone out there who agreed with you even if your comment was unpopular to the particular community you were posting to. When Reddit removed that feature, I think it drove a lot more people crazy.
I don’t think it’s possible, or desirable, to try to create rules around how people use their preference buttons.
I also don’t think it’s possible to actually end mean-spirited disagreement in internet comment sections, but it’s a valuable thing to strive for as a value and emphasize, like you did in this post.
I think the same can be said for group-downvoting and stalking threads to downvote people based on what side they take without engaging with the substance of what is said. Minority viewpoints that add information are probably the most needed thing, and if anything I would say group downvoting is worse here than reddit on certain topics, unfortunately.
I think the attention spans are better here, and many/most things are better here but this is a sore spot.
We’ve kind of grown used to having terrible interactions on the internet, mainly because US big tech companies tacitly encourage it. They love rage-inducing content, because it keeps their users engaged, and spending more time on the site. We can def do better :)
I hope that’s a default. Is it default off?
Ya its off by default.
Maybe not rules, but I think it is desirable to change how people think about it through UX.
Currently the downvote button is equivalent to upvote, just a casual thing you can do. If it’s meant to have a different meaning, it should look different.
Beehaw just removes the downvote button entirely, so there is a community for that.
I can get behind this, because upvotes/downvote serve a purpose of telling the website “more people should see this”. But we don’t need to know what needs to be seen less. Upvotes will, on their own, already tell us what’s the top content and sort things out things. Late, Average and Middling posts aren’t really going to be seen by most people and are fine with a lesser rating accuracy.
But what about de-constructive comments? What if something TRULY deserves to be seen less? Well, here’s a stance I don’t particularly believe everyone would get behind but has some merit: People should post their reasoning why their post was not very good as a response. As that not just generates discussion points, but also informs other onlookers of their rationale. And if a response gathers upvotes (ratio’d), then that signals a better message than a simple downvote ever would. Yeah, that means the only response to a troll is actually responding, and that may make a community appear less welcoming, but overall I don’t know if that’s a big issue in practice.
This is why I’m personally not a fan of removing downvotes. No one really has been able to answer why upvotes need no comment to back them up, but downvotes for some reason always need a justification.
Many trolling comments, or some comments we just disagree staunchly with, should be downvoted, and no one should be required to write an explanation for that.
The other reason, is that all the big tech companies (except for reddit), have removed the dislike button. To me that signals that they don’t want it to be known that some positions are wildly unpopular.
On twitter the only indicator of “dislike” now, is being “ratio’d”: having more comments than favorites, which of course they prefer because it drives up engagement, since no one can just downvote and move on. It also makes some reactionary positions (like being anti-trans for instance), seem much more popular than they really are.
I do understand and agree with the rest of the post. By all means, downvotes do have value with dealing with immature or agenda’d posters if that is problematic to a community.
But I did state why it can be fine and how there’s a reason why upvotes require no reasoning while downvotes do - they have an immediate, positive effect on the usability of the site (everyone sees top posts), while downvotes have a less immediate one (only a subset scrolls to see bottom posts). Upvotes are just inherently more valuable to the community on the whole and shouldn’t be put to equal questioning. Downvotes are more useful to contain undesirables.
On this note, there’s somewhat of a tangential discussion to all of this, which is “should posts that go below a threshold (like -10 points) be hidden from users by default?”. I personally would opt to keep posts visible to myself, because I want to know what was said that earned the shunning. But I can’t think of a reason why a system that has downvotes shouldn’t do that filtering, after all, it basically empowers downvotes to do their job better, and stops trolls from latching to top posts.
I agree. I made a post earlier to promote discussion, and it was downvoted more than I expected because people did not agree with the question I guess?
I would still argue that if a post or comment provides useful discourse, it should be upvoted or at the very least, not downvoted.
Hmm you raise an interesting point. I do agree that it’s helpful to explain to someone why they’re being downvoted.
An experimental feature might be to allow downvotes only if you reply, or else you can choose to down vote a comment if you also upvote a response to the downvoted comment.
Never heard this idea before. Some food for thought, indeed. Simply for its unique approach, people should keep this idea in mind when talking about down votes.
I think this idea is absolutely brilliant. I would love a platform that would force some level of accountability on those who put down other people’s perspectives.
Now there’s an interesting approach, will have to check out Beehaw I guess.
It’s quite a nice place :)
this only works for your own instance. someone from another instance can still downvote you
Yes, nothing prevents them from hitting the button. But the downvote wouldn’t be federated. Beehaw would never know if everyone else was downvoting them.
hm. Seems you’re right. The original score doesn’t get updated if you downvote. Only the score on your own instance. Why even show the button on this one comment if it’s inconsistent like that?
Yes because having that rule worked so well for reddit over the years. It’s unfortunately an unenforceable rule so therefore etiquette at best.
If you have a disagreement with someone, and they make a good argument, that’s worth an upvote.
Right. And if they have a bad argument, regardless whether you agree with it or not, it’s worth a downvote. But if it is an opinion without an argument, I think it is fine to up- or downvote depending on whether you agree or disagree.
I don’t really get why. A well reasoned position I disagree with might discourage me to downvote, because I would like the reasoning itself. But why would downvoting something you disagree with be bad?
Personal experience ofc, but a lot of people argue in bad faith. Knowingly (or unknowingly) invoke logical fallacies, whataboutisms and straw man arguments. With how ideologically volatile the internet has turned in recent years, you can’t really have a reasonable argument any more without it becoming just a name calling session.
Yesterday I noticed just how much reddit had jaded me. Had a bbq with some friends and a guy I knew was very much in the right, q anon stuff and all, asked me about my position on polarizing topics. I’m anarcho syndicalist. Expected it to get heated. Dude just genuinely asked questions and that was it. No trying to prod holes into the ideology or show the superiority of his ideology. It was kinda eye opening and showed me I just spent too much time in toxic areas of the internet. Though he seemed to have a bone to pick with the stereotypical city dweller lib. Had I had those positions he probably would’ve unloaded with quotes from the usual suspect talking heads.
It helps prevent hivemind mentality and keeps us growing. Unpopular opinions often have ideas worth examining or could be outright correct despite common wisdom saying otherwise, and forums like these are one of the best places for us to engage with those facts. There’s also times when an opinion we like dislike is misinformed, and rather than send it to the bottom, it’s good to explain how it’s wrong for both our own sake (refining our arguments) and bystanders that haven’t given the topic much thought.
But if someone left a turd, send that stank to the bottom!
undefined> But if someone left a turd, send that stank to the bottom!
This is the crux of it though, where is the distinction between opposing viewpoint and absurdist argument? How would you combat people trolling, i.e. intentionally posting inflammatory things to cause disruption/argument?
Am I trolling you right now? Or am I arguing in good faith? :-)
Schrodinger’s troll!
Judgement is best left to the reader :)
This. Stick it instancewide forever
Lots of redditors are coming out of echo-chambers. In fact most of reddit has become one starting from a suffocating top-down control.
They’ve forgotten how Reddit used to be and so are astounded at how “uncomfortable” Lemmy is given its NON-pyramid like structure.
The discomfort is how the world and free speech needs to be and I’m a non-white Muslim typing this.
None of us is 100% right so we should always be exposed to other POVs and question ourselves to keep ourselves in check and evolve in objective ways.
I hope Lemmy keeps it this way and the money doesn’t corrupt things as it always does. Believe you me, advertisers and nefarious actors are already reaching out to Lemmy authors to do exactly that.
yes sir 👍
I’ve encountered some people who are not so… respectful with disagreements. I’ve made use of the report feature, however, it doesn’t seem to be of much use.
you haven’t been entirely respectful in your disagreements either come on now
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? I’ve been following that thread since yesterday, calling someone “buddy” is not respectful
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it’s not “offensive” it’s disrespectful to be overly familiar with people like that. Calling someone I know buddy is very different from starting out an argument with buddy with an online stranger, it portrays a tone of disdain
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I would find it offensive if someone called me a shithead, as well as disrespectful, while calling me buddy/bud is disrespectful but not offensive
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What do you gain from behaving this way? I understand it’s easy to get heated online but you’re just plainly trying to get under someone’s skin for no reason. Maybe you genuinely disagree that calling a stranger “buddy” right at the start of a disagreement is disrespectful, but you’re literally just responding derisively to someone in a way that you know they find disrespectful, underneath a post specifically telling you to be respectful in disagreements.
Also, personally I think it’s strange to question someone else’s understanding of English in regards to calling a stranger “buddy” in a disagreement, seeing as I think most English speakers would understand the passive aggressive attitude of such a thing easily.
there’s a difference between being a bit rude and saying slurs at people, you know. they are both disrespectful though!
I think we just have a different view of being respectful
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I said you escalated tensions. I really do think that calling someone buddy is overly familiar, I guess I can’t speak for everyone but the argument really seemed to take a turn downhill when you called Yog buddy I don’t think it’s outlandish to say that escalated tensions. I really didn’t intend for it to come off as an “accusation” was just trying to give some pretty mild push back that you yourself were disrespectful in an argument. I think Yog probably should get a temp for like a day if you think I’m being unfair
I’m not your friend, guy!
I’m not your guy, dude!
well, since you’re going to be disrespectful to me by setting an hilariously outrageous and arbitrary standard and then use that to insinuate that I’m actually the one who has done something wrong, I’m just going to assume you’re a troll.
strange place to come and do that
what? why are you reacting like this I just said that you escalated the tensions yourself? Ironically this is exactly what I meant
you’ve clearly come here to antagonize me by accusing me of something preposterous: using the word “buddy”-- a word which means companion, friend. is English, maybe, not your first language?
you’e the one making false accusations, and now, again. you’re clearly a troll.
calling people buddy, when you don’t know them, is passive aggressive to most people. And thanks for taking literally the worst faith interpretation possible, I just looked into this thread and saw you commented and remember reading through the argument you and Yog had.
I don’t agree with this but I respect your opinion
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