It doesn’t escape me, but what part of what I’ve said has invited confrontation or dismissal? I’m asking honestly. It’s grating that it keeps happening and I keep telling people to stop. Hyperbole aside, it’s frequent enough that I can see a pattern of people starting petty arguments trying to win and throwing low punches instead of clarifying what is being said and why. Like, I don’t even want to argue.
additional perspectives on why that might be happening
Meaning what, it’s also me? lol If I’m the one telling people to stop and act like adults and that gets 180° turns in behavior, what does that say to you?
It’s kind of baffling they are arguing exposing their cat to drugs is fine, for what? They can’t know that’s safe. Why take the risk? Might as well let them drink some wine while we are at it eh?
They are arguing on emotion more than anything. Nothing to do about that.
So you think exposing your cat to drugs isn’t fine? You said you do just that though, so I would like if you clarified the difference. The last point of the wine was not your words, but my own. I will own that. I will ask the simple question, why do you choose to expose your cat to cannabis?
I don’t drink alcohol. I do want to know your reasoning though. I do want an answer to the question before. The reason I came off strong is because I admit that I found it irresponsible what you claimed to do. I can’t understand the risk benefit analysis that would lead you to decide it’s worth it. I want to understand your reasoning.
It doesn’t escape me, but what part of what I’ve said has invited confrontation or dismissal? I’m asking honestly.
In this case i can’t see any big red flags.
The tone is a possibility, as i said, being correct isn’t an absolute defence against being considered an arsehole.
To be clear, I’m not implying you were incorrect, or the tone was incorrect, just that that kind of certainty (evidence based or not) gets some people’s backs up.
It’s grating that it keeps happening and I keep telling people to stop.
I don’t think it’s what you actually meant but this could be interpreted as “Somebody didn’t accept my answer and argued, so i told them to stop, they didn’t even though i was clearly correct, this is grating”
Hyperbole aside, it’s frequent enough that I can see a pattern of people starting petty arguments trying to win and throwing low punches instead of clarifying what is being said and why.
Firstly, welcome to public internet forums in general, this is common behaviour.
That aside, there are numerous trolls and bad faith “debaters” around, but just because you consider something petty doesn’t mean the other person does.
This is what i was trying to convey in my reply earlier, if almost all interactions end up with what you consider petty behaviour it’s worth considering the possibility that you are contributing to that outcome somehow.
Like, I don’t even want to argue.
So don’t, if you don’t want to continue the interaction then don’t reply.
Meaning what, it’s also me?
Possibly, yes.
lol If I’m the one telling people to stop and act like adults and that gets 180° turns in behaviour, what does that say to you?
Honestly, it says to me that your communication skills might need some work.
Again, to be clear i don’t mean your communication of facts and information, i mean your ability to understand how phrasing something in a certain way might illicit a certain kind of response.
“Stop acting like a child” is a very good way to build enmity and confrontation, which is useful in some cases, if you intend to illicit that response.
However, saying something like that and then being confused/frustrated when people get confrontational and dismissive suggests a lack of understanding about the impact of tone and phrasing.
It doesn’t escape me, but what part of what I’ve said has invited confrontation or dismissal? I’m asking honestly. It’s grating that it keeps happening and I keep telling people to stop. Hyperbole aside, it’s frequent enough that I can see a pattern of people starting petty arguments trying to win and throwing low punches instead of clarifying what is being said and why. Like, I don’t even want to argue.
Meaning what, it’s also me? lol If I’m the one telling people to stop and act like adults and that gets 180° turns in behavior, what does that say to you?
It’s kind of baffling they are arguing exposing their cat to drugs is fine, for what? They can’t know that’s safe. Why take the risk? Might as well let them drink some wine while we are at it eh?
They are arguing on emotion more than anything. Nothing to do about that.
I didn’t argue any of those things. But go ahead and put words in my mouth since it appears to make you feel validated.
So you think exposing your cat to drugs isn’t fine? You said you do just that though, so I would like if you clarified the difference. The last point of the wine was not your words, but my own. I will own that. I will ask the simple question, why do you choose to expose your cat to cannabis?
you’re clearly here to pick a fight and troll, and i’m not going to enable your childish behavior.
i suggest you take it easy on the wine.
I don’t drink alcohol. I do want to know your reasoning though. I do want an answer to the question before. The reason I came off strong is because I admit that I found it irresponsible what you claimed to do. I can’t understand the risk benefit analysis that would lead you to decide it’s worth it. I want to understand your reasoning.
In this case i can’t see any big red flags.
The tone is a possibility, as i said, being correct isn’t an absolute defence against being considered an arsehole.
To be clear, I’m not implying you were incorrect, or the tone was incorrect, just that that kind of certainty (evidence based or not) gets some people’s backs up.
I don’t think it’s what you actually meant but this could be interpreted as “Somebody didn’t accept my answer and argued, so i told them to stop, they didn’t even though i was clearly correct, this is grating”
Firstly, welcome to public internet forums in general, this is common behaviour.
That aside, there are numerous trolls and bad faith “debaters” around, but just because you consider something petty doesn’t mean the other person does.
This is what i was trying to convey in my reply earlier, if almost all interactions end up with what you consider petty behaviour it’s worth considering the possibility that you are contributing to that outcome somehow.
So don’t, if you don’t want to continue the interaction then don’t reply.
Possibly, yes.
Honestly, it says to me that your communication skills might need some work.
Again, to be clear i don’t mean your communication of facts and information, i mean your ability to understand how phrasing something in a certain way might illicit a certain kind of response.
“Stop acting like a child” is a very good way to build enmity and confrontation, which is useful in some cases, if you intend to illicit that response.
However, saying something like that and then being confused/frustrated when people get confrontational and dismissive suggests a lack of understanding about the impact of tone and phrasing.
I see. I don’t agree with everything but I’ll think about it. Sincerely, thanks for the feedback.