site’s back, time to party niko-dance

  • rayne [she/her, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    4 months ago

    Started working on voice training day before yesterday. It’s nice to have something to work on while I wait to see the clinic at the end of the month for HRT. Meeting a trans friend I recently made for coffee tomorrow. And going to a trans support group the night after. Hopefully that will help with things mentioned below.

    dysphoria and coming out

    I’m starting to experience pronoun/name euphoria and dysphoria. And I’m having trouble asking people to stop dead naming me. Changed my profile name on facebook to gauge the reaction. But honestly feeling sketch about FB generally and will probably delete the thing.

    I also haven’t come out to my kid yet. He’s 14, and I only see him once a week supervised because of my poor mental health. His mom has him in a conservative school district, and he’s already been teased for not having a dad because of me being in his life so little. I’m going to talk to my therapist today about it. And probably our supervisor (who’s also a therapist) soon. Then likely have to email my ex-wife and explain the situation to her and see if she wants to try co parenting on this or if she wants to just leave me to it. I’ll probably apologize to my ex too, for my end of all the things her and I put each other through. Tell her something like, I really wasn’t myself when we were together.

    • magi [null/void]@hexbear.net
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      4 months ago

      It sounds like you have the starting of a decent support network around you which is always a plus. I hope you have a nice time having coffee with your friend.

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      I hope everything else works out for you. It’s tough especially early days but things will get better even if there’s a few bumpy patches at the start… I wish you the best

      • rayne [she/her, they/them]@hexbear.net
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        4 months ago

        I appreciate that!

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        I hated wearing the boy shorts instead of a skirt so ended up just coming out to my kid. He was chill about it, had no questions. We played games for the rest of our visit and I felt like I could be myself more. Excited to wear something cute next week instead of ugly ass shorts lol

        Wrote a couple of paragraphs on facebook about preferring feminine things and thus preferring a feminine name to my dead name after my cousin messaged me and was like, hey, I love you Rayne and this was confusing so maybe make it clearer lol Got some support from friends and supportive family. And I imagine my conservative friends and relatives will either get over it or not, not my problem really

        • magi [null/void]@hexbear.net
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          4 months ago

          I bet you do! Happy for you c:

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          I’m glad your kid was okay with you and hope going forward it’s easier for you too, plus wearing clothes that you feel more comfortable in will help with that I’m sure. I’m glad you have friends and a supportive family, that’s a great thing to have behind you.