Hope it was a great week everyone. Hopefully this one is even better. 
hello trans people of hexbear.net
yesterday i have taken my 4th shot of estrogen :)
Happy Monday!
Was considering not revealing anything for opsec reasons but I haven’t told anyone IRL and feel like I’m bursting at the seams about it so… I started (DIY) HRT! I don’t really know what I want out of this exactly but I think I’ll like all of the physical changes and hate being seen as a man so here goes! At this point I’m aiming for “transfem enby” but honestly I think I might be okay with anywhere from “man with tits” to “binary trans woman” lol so I’m feeling it out as I go.
Only a few days in (I can still feel slight tenderness at the injection site lol) so probably nothing real changing yet but I’m so excited, and I love the biohacking angle of mixing my own shit. I have no plan for the social aspect if I’m being honest, besides just a) officially coming out to my more chill friends soon, probably around pride month, b) not coming out to my family and c) trying to just be myself, even with the knowledge that I might discover I’m not exactly who I thought I was
Not sure how much people IRL are going to freak about the safety aspect of DIY but I just don’t care I don’t think. I trust myself more than I trust doctors, and I can afford blood tests if needed.
Congrats!!!
Every single thread that talks about misogyny on hexbear becomes a cesspit of “enlightened centrists” on fucking gendered oppression. Ugh.
I know. We need another fucking purge.
It keeps happening. Worst part of the site imo
Oh no. Is it happening again? I haven’t been online much today so I haven’t looked around. Legit might leave the site if this shit isn’t reined in.
Please direct us
I’m guessing the one talking about misandry
My first hexbear purge ☺️
just saw i saw the tv glow. the best trans movie i’ve ever seen, never felt more seen by a movie. sitting in the theater as the credits roll and just crying because that could have been me
effort post coming later, genuinely mandatory viewing if you’re transfem or questioning
fuck… i keep hearing about how good it is but i absolutely can’t STAND horror anything. it took a very, very large carveout for me to finish Omori
it’s not really horror? it’s a tragedy. i mean it’s horrifying, but it isn’t scary
the real horror
is the main character just living her life presenting as male forever, too scared to transition
!! Effortpost !!
writing it rn!
Cooking!
shit, I had no idea this was a trans movie, now I gotta see it.
A24 really coming in hot with the queer rep this year, releasing a lesbian movie and a trans movie back to back.
you GOTTA
cannot emphasize enough how good this movie is as a trans movie
as a trans movie
oh wait, so is it not explicitly a trans movie?
no it’s explicitly trans but in ways where it’s really hard to talk about without spoiling. more details coming soon, once i’m done figuring out how to write about this
very vague spoilers
the main character is trans but closeted and too scared to transition, and spends the movie talking around this fact. but it’s the text of the movie even though those words are never explicitly said
you’re piqued my interest.
if I don’t see this in theater I’ll at least rent or buy it when it hits home video.
would it be too on the nose if i saw this movie in boymode
yes
you should do it though, it will wreck you
spoiler
you should meet the main character where she’s at, she’s also boymoding the whole time!
getting hrt on monday finally, but in the mean time why the fuck does my voice sound the way it does oh shit oh fuck
i hate that never speaking again feels preferable rn
You don’t understand, ma’am - I NEED those headpets!! I deserve it! But that also doesn’t mean I’m unwilling to debase myself by draping myself all over you, headbutting you, making dumb little gay sounds, so on. And I’ll make autistic little “mya” sounds when I get the headpets!! I’ll be very satisfied and luxuriating in the head attention! It might put me to sleep, and I’ll be in bliss, that shit’s just like pure dopamine to me. Might end up becoming scritches or cuddles as well, I will lay across your lap or be little spoon. I’ll be gay and affectionate, a complete lesbian simp. I desire and require headpets, miss, surely you understand.
Me @ my girlfriend
I love to see it
New copypasta just dropped
I encourage this tbh.
This needs to be one of those Hexbear titlebar things!
Edit: They’re called taglines, and I knew that, but I blanked because my brain is a mess
deleted by creator
Saw the new philosophy tube. Abigail did a boy voice very very poorly. I laughed and chuckled and then thought… hang on did I lose my fucking boy voice too???
And I tried… and I did apparently. Now I sound like a girl doing a boy voice very poorly. Wtf???
Oh yeah that happens without realizing it. I’ve completely lost the ability to talk like I used to. Hells, I’ve actually forgotten entirely what I used to sound like to the point that my memories have retconned my voice.
lol nice. Sometimes in my dreams I remember myself as a little girl if I’m like reliving some early memory. Which occasionally jostled me when I realize “no wait I transitioned in my 20s hang on”
I still can do an Elvis impersonation just fine - but I’ve lost what I once thought was my permanent voice… I can imitate Elvis better than I can imitate how I sounded like 5 years ago
Mood swings are crazy honestly last night I was like “AHHHHH I’m gonna give up I’m gonna detransition I can’t do this” and this morning I’m like hmm I look really cute I’m def trans what was I thinking
Had the greatest thing happen to me today. So I had to get a procedure done by one of my surgeons today. Had to get there early this morning. So it took a while to get called back to get ready but I had an extremely affirming thing happen to me once I got back. The second I got back, I got asked if i had given a urine sample yet. I answered no and asked why. The following conversation took place.
Nurse: It is a urine sample for a pregnancy test.
Me: Oh. That’s fair. I’m definitely not pregnant though.
Nurse: We have to do this. All women must take a pregnancy test just in case. (I assume it was for anesthesia or something)
Me: I promise you. I can’t get pregnant. It is not possible.
Nurse : *visibly confused*
Me: I don’t have a uterus, so I can’t
Nurse: I see. When did you have it removed?
Me: I never had one. I’m trans.
At this point you can see the light bulb flicker on and she stammers a little. I told her not to worry cause it kinda made my day. I then proceeded to not be asked again, lol. Sometimes it’s the little things that happen that make one feel great. I never knew I passed so well, but when you have a nurse insisting on a pregnancy test, well yeah, ya pass ya dingus. Lmao.
I got sent a cervical cancer screening letter after I changed my gender marker. It made me laugh too!
Shoutout Dr. Girlfriend for giving me the confidence to speak with my half a pack a day voice <3
Ayyyy, same over here
Half a pack a day voices are so attractive, sorry, I don’t make the rules
down with cis
Thinking of asking a friend to use they/them :ohnoes: I was so amped up about it last night but now I’m not so sure. They belong to a kind of conservative branch of Christianity and I don’t know how they feel about trans people.
I’ve never done this and eventually I’m going to have to do it with everyone in my life :ohnoes:
I feel this so hard. Hugs
I’ve never done this and eventually I’m going to have to do it with everyone in my life :ohnoes:
Not if other people out you first. OTOH, sometimes you get to come out to the same person multiple times because they just totally forget (coming out to someone when they’re already drunk might not be a great idea) or think you are joking or don’t know the meaning of words you used and don’t ask or just ignore most of what you say.
I forget the full range of bad reactions people can have.coming out to someone when they’re already drunk might not be a great idea
A free trial of their reaction seems like it has potential though.
just ignore most of what you say
people suckCan’t say I’ve ever been outed in a way that I considered a negative.
people suck
I have a tendency to fill the silence with random nonsense that I don’t expect others to actually listen to (and I tell them I don’t expect them to listen to my random nonsense). Unfortunately that means sometimes they tune out what I intend for them to listen to.
That’s good, I was a little worried you were speaking from experience.
No, they do that regardless of how much you talk. It’s very frustrating for me, and especially if you were trying to tell them something important (like your gender).
I was speaking from experience. My brother has outed me to people in a couple of ways (not always related to being trans), for example, but its never been a problem. In terms of being trans, I think he’s only mentioned it to other trans people (maybe only one? Idk) I don’t really care - its not exactly something I intended to keep secret. I just don’t like to bring it up, so if its already done, that’s easier for me.
He did ask for permission before saying anything to our cousin (who is also our roomate), but my cousin forgot and somehow never picked up on it despite many conversations between my brother and I that only make sense in the context of me being trans, changing to they/them pronouns on twitch, and some exploration with presentation (like wearing a dress around the apartment or cosplaying as a girl character). For the longest time, I suspected he didn’t think of me as trans because he’d sometimes reference another person we knew as an example of a trans person but for some reason never mentioned me in those contexts (given I’m not really out, it makes some sense though not to mention it). I mentioned I might try to get HRT soon like two weeks before I actually started and he was still a bit surprised when I did the thing I said I would do (I don’t think he knew what HRT was). So… I think he knows I’m trans now? Guess technically I didn’t say I was though, so maybe he thinks I’m just a cis guy taking E?
I just listened to a Buddhist podcast and I’ll just say make sure they had a good lunch before.
I just realized today that it’s almost Pride Month… I wish I was more excited for it tbh but I won’t be able to go to any of the Pride events because none are COVID-safe so I don’t really have much to look forward to.
I’ve never cared for pride month. Nonetheless, if it’s outside it’s probably safe - wear a mask if you like.
Since I’m fuckin unemployed as fuck now maybe I’ll see if there’s cool stuff here, finally…
Every month is pride month here
The contradiction between thinking being socially expected to voice train is bad and wanting to voice train because it makes me sad
Wouldn’t the desire to do so override any preconceived notion of being expected to? At this point, it’s just something you want to do and not something you’re doing because you believe you have to.
Yeah you’re right. My brain just kinda keeps trying to find ways to be rude to myself for some reason
