Ah, my local antivax prophet had me dying by May 22, 2021. I of course doubled down and have all of my Covid vaccines. Still waiting.

Anybody know where I can find whatever form or portal it is that gets me my Soros bucks? I’ve been spreading all these lies about “science” for years and I still haven’t seen a dime.

Also, card-carrying socialists and/or communists: which one is it and where do I get my card from? Biden isn’t returning my calls. Maybe it was through my local police? Damn, shouldn’t have defunded all those police departments so quickly!

/s

I don’t believe in COVID, but I got the vaccine for the infertility because it was easier than a vasectomy. And now my wife is pregnant 😡😡😡

I think I’ve been getting a little bit better Internet speeds lately.

Where’s my free 5G???

If bill gates commands order 66, something within my blood compels me to join

I feel cheated, what was even the point of taking them if they weren’t going to kill me?!

But my cell service is so good now

deleted by creator

Maybe we’re undead. I feel slightly undead. (Probably because I didn’t get enough sleep, but who knows.)

I recently bought a new wifi part with WiFi 6e capabilities, so my pc sits on a 6ghz bandwidth while all my other devices sit on 2.4 or 5ghz, so my internet speeds are great across all my devices.

Point being I have never felt it more urgent to donate to the Bill + Malinda Gates foundation and I think you should to! /s

I don’t know about you guys, but I never lose my keys anymore. sticks it to forehead