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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: August 3rd, 2023

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  • The first time I can look back at growing up and pinpoint dysphoria was the onset of puberty. It felt so wrong, like it shouldn’t have been happening to me. I felt trapped in someone else’s body. I remember reading the diary of Ann Frank, and she was happy to get her period and be a woman. That concept was so foreign to me. Why would anyone want to be a woman if they didn’t have to? I got a period, and I felt dread. I knew my mom had a hysterectomy, and I knew that’s exactly what I wanted as soon as possible. I have always known that I would get sterilized. The thought of birthing children and getting pregnant made me feel sick and uneasy. I wished it weren’t possible. I wished I didn’t have to.

    As I grew to be a “woman,” I had a deep hatred for what I felt I had to be. I didn’t want to be a man. I just wanted to be a default person. I didn’t want to be perceived masculine or feminine. When I was a young child, I didn’t feel like a pretty little girl. I felt like just a kid. A lot of girls played with other girls and boys with other boys. I never felt like I belonged anywhere, but is that dysphoria or is that growing up as an outsider?

    I remember thinking about cutting out my uterus while it was bleeding. I felt it shouldn’t be there, and I needed to get rid of it. That was totally dysphoria. There’s nothing like that when I was younger that I can remember.









  • I moved to a new state a month ago, and I haven’t made any new friends yet. Before, I had weekly scheduled hangouts. I usually always contact my friends first, but sometimes someone will send me a meme without warning. Usually, I text people a dad joke, and I talk to them about stuff. My only complaint is that I don’t see anyone anymore because I live in a new state. I want to start weekly board game nights back up. The more I reach out to my friends, the more they connect with me.