The most unrealistic part of this is a conservative christian actually reading the bible. Unless he is just using it as a prop which is on form with these types.
There’s a Sears lingerie catalog inside it
Pretty G-rated compared to the Bible which Fb OP thinks includes only stuff they like in it
Pretty sure these morons only read the illustrated bible for kids versions. With only their favorite fairytales and lots of sweet baby Jesus garbage to make them feel special.
It must be so hard on them to be vilified and mocked for just doing the right thing. At others.
The second most unrealistic part is the guy on the left holding the phone with his fingers fused together
That’s just his trained facehugger.
Reminds me of this one
Can’t believe people would treat a cunt like a cunt
That was fun to watch. Thanks!
Wasn’t it, though? Can you imagine being her months later, still riding the high of being flown out to receive an award and have a nice dinner with fans of yours, only to find out that you’d been had and the world was laughing at you? That’s a supervillain origin story right there.
People aren’t laughing at you because you’re Christian in Texas you morons, they’re laughing at you because you think you’re being persecuted for your religion when you live somewhere where 80 percent of the population is Christian.
Even if it were 100% they would still find some way to play the victim.
Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, “Don’t do it!” He said, “Nobody loves me.” I said, “God loves you. Do you believe in God?” He said, “Yes.” I said, “Are you a Christian or a Jew?” He said, “A Christian.” I said, “Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?” He said, “Protestant.” I said, “Me, too! What franchise?” He said, “Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?” He said, “Northern Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?” He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?” He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?” He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.” I said, “Die, heretic!” And I pushed him over.
– Emo Phillips
Damn you, you just made me waste an hour watching emo Phillips YouTube videos
That time was not wasted.
Motherfucker deserved it. 1879 gang for life!
Which is why I don’t take people like this seriously in any way, shape, or form.
Thing is, they are. Not because they’re Christians (most people don’t care), not because they’re reading the bible (Most of them don’t anyway), but because they post shitty memes like this to feed their victimization fetish.
i care that they’re christians. i grew up in the bible belt south in the 80’s. fuck these people. they wanna ruin my life? i’ll gladly return the favor.
It’s easy to make fun of this, but the sentiment it’s expressing explains so much about how Christians and conservatives in general are motivated.
The first premise is that conservatives in general are fixated on what’s “normal”. It’s very important to them that they’re in the mainstream and the majority. But they see faces that aren’t like theirs in the media, on the streets, and worst of all in power. Their favorite show expresses values they don’t hold. All the institutions celebrate black history and LGBT pride.
This is a problem because if what’s normal changes, they’ll have to change to be normal. Or even worse, they’ll be excluded from the normal. This is a threat to their identities.
This is how I understand irrational Conservative issues like the ‘war on woke’ or the ‘border crisis’. Trump speaks to this fear and anxiety in everything he does. When they say that “he’s come to save us” that’s what they’re talking about.
Which is ironic because the progressive ideal is to leave the concept of “normal” behind entirely and embrace new different things instead of excluding those who are different.
if what’s normal changes, they’ll have to change to be normal. Or even worse, they’ll be excluded from the normal.
Based on how much time I spend voluntarily associating with any openly conservative family members or coworkers these days (none), my anecdotal evidence is that this is already happening.
They are bringing it on themselves, but there’s really no point trying to tell them that.
No one hates Christians more than suburban white people in golf shirts. Everyone knows that.
Where?
When?
Give me one fucking example.yhat this ever happened?
Crickets
This thread? 🤔
True, but they aren’t here to feel the rejection
When they knock on my door. I laugh
When I see them preach on the street. I laugh
When I see them on tv. I laugh.
When I see them voted into government. I stop laughing.
Yeah. We are laughing at them. It’s their own fault for being laughable.
They’ve been doing far, far worse to everyone else for thousands of years, so a bit of online snickering shouldn’t hurt them. Like witch trials, the inquisition, the crusades, the holocaust, lynchings – that’s all fine, but their god forbid we make a few jokes online… that’s too far.
Lol Prudence, fucking suck it up.
True Christians, who actually follow Christ’s philosophy, are few and far between.
These people are Mammonites.
Made my own AI generated version for fun
Thanks for the waste of energy, I guess?
I thought the joke was the original was also AI
Someone gets it!! Man there are some sour people out there
When I run Stable Diffusion on my GPU it takes about 10-20s to render one image.
Power consumption is about the same as gaming, so its not much energy.
There are more individuals out there generating Shrek buttholes 24/7 just looking for that perfect pout. This one isn’t a problem.
Plot twist he’s hiding a hentai comic inside the Bible!
God must’ve of spent a lot of time getting hands to work right as seen on the guy in grey to the left of Bible boy.
I guess I’d laugh if they weren’t so dangerous
If “true texans” understand the experience of being mocked publicly for their religion who’s doing it? Sure we can mock them online, but nobody here in the Midwest is mocking me for being proud of how cheap I get stuff or how friendly I am. Sure some people may but I don’t interact with them on a regular basis because I’m following my regional cultural values in that area.
So my real question here is: isn’t this admitting that many Texans aren’t christians
It goes much deeper than that, imho: “every accusation is a confession”. It bespeaks how they make fun of the ones that they do not agree with - and therefore imagine that the “other side” simply MUST be doing that to them (regardless of any evidence yay or nay to that effect).
But to answer your question: yes there are a lot of “city folk” inside of Texas - mostly Austin and Dallas - but since they are concentrated into those areas, the state overall votes along with the rural base. Except that they fear that their children even in the rural areas are leaving Christianity in droves, so that too.
Mostly though, it is a “truthiness” statement - not meant to be factually correct so much as to evoke an emotional response. e.g. the Holy Bible, which they claim to revere, says things like “judge not, let you be judged in return” applied to non-Christians but also has enormous punishments for Christian LEADERS who are caught in things like infidelity especially with under-age children, both of which need to be swapped 100% in reverse in order to match their actions as depicted in this meme. As in, maybe people aren’t making fun of you b/c you follow the Bible, but b/c you claim to but then don’t?
Persecution Fetish.
It leads them to teach their children that they need to be ready to die for their beliefs. It’s fucked up.
It’s also a religion self-defense. If you tell people early on that their faith will be “tested” they are much harder to reason with because all they are hearing is “Satan is trying to take Jesus away from you” instead of the logical arguments against these made up stories.
I mean, I’m laughing, so it’s not wrong.
This made me realize, I’ve never ever seen anyone genuinely reading the bible.
That’s because it’s not worth reading, it’s very derivative and essentially it’s just a rehashing of Life Of Brian anyway.
Some of it can be interesting to read, but I doubt most people care about how you can see a shift in warfare from bronze over to iron. Or the fact it works as a primitive bit of anthropological history or atleast gives a good look in how the societies writing and translating viewed certain things.
Nobody does. But I’ve seen plenty of people who walk around with them to pretend that they do.
My SO grandma reads Bible explanation books. Stuff is wild I read some and it talks about aliens and dimension compacting and all kinds of sci-fi stuff but packaged in a very weird way.
“Explanation”? If the book talks about aliens, it sounds more like lore expansion.
ROFL I need to remember this.
Also is this the Bible or is it just L Ron Hubbard?
I did. I’m also an atheist. It’s actually quite interesting from an historical perspective.
I’m taking a Jewish studies course where we’ve compared verses to other historical artifacts. It really is pretty interesting how much everyone wanted to claim “my
daddyGod will (or did) beat up yours!”
It’s got a lot of good stuff. Like, “the worker deserves their wages”, no wait let’s throw that out, and “take care of the poor & needy”, no let’s ditch that too, and “your breasts are fiiiiine gurl”, no wait let’s never read that out loud ever, anywhere.
My favorite is “be skeptical - test everything”, oh no wait no let’s redact that too… (I just realized how that doesn’t mesh with the most important verse of all: “just do whatever we tell you, no questions asked, capiche?”)
The hilarious part is not that they are reading the Bible - it is that they are not! Likewise for the Constitution that they showed up on January 6th to “defend”.
“Of course we read the Constitution! It says “we the people”! Well, we’re people, and everyone else isn’t! Just like God intended!”
“Well-regulated militia” - oh wait no, forget that part, it’s impossible to allow any kind of regulation at all.
“You can impeach someone for criminal offenses” - oh wait no let’s ditch that one too…
No wait, I want it back again!
I also want back the 3/5ths of a person thing, but let’s expand that to also include anyone with a college degree or lives in a city, suburb, or even those in rural areas who don’t support their local
Republicanchurch strongly enough.“One rule for me, while the polar opposite rule for thee” - it’s not hard to understand in the slightest. We all played these games as toddlers, the difference being that some of us allowed ourselves to grow up. :-|
Dont forget the cuckoldry and giant dongs
Never forget! :-D
I read it out of spite because of how often any random nonsense in my high school English class would be call a metaphor for Jesus and I wanted to be able to call BS on it when appropriate.
Suggested to my mother that she might want to read it sometime, seeing as she taught catechism classes for the local church and she gave me the most confused look and asked me why on earth she would want to do that. The very same lady who insisted I had to continue attending mass and catechism classes until I got confirmed right up until the nun in charge expelled me from their catechism program.
