I hope its ok for me to make this post. F1NN5TER is coming out as genderfluid. He still prefers He/him pronouns but is ok with any pronouns. Good for him. He is also coming out as bisexual.

  • whoops@hexbear.netEnglish
    7·
    9 months ago

    I think what set off my recent questioning was not the jokey things like a youtube femboy, but hearing stories from trans people about their lives before and after coming out.

    For example, someone posted a video here that was an analysis of some anime through a trans lens. I have no interest in anime, but it sucked me in with how vivid the description was. The descriptions she gave of her life before transitioning resonated sharply with me. The feelings of deadness, of not belonging, of repressing. She hit really specific feelings and experiences I had that I couldn’t articulate well myself.

    But then I think about identifying as nb or transitioning. My first thoughts aren’t about safety or fear, they’re just lack of interest. There’s nothing I want to do. I don’t care about body hair or boobs or any physical characteristics. I don’t feel anything if someone uses different pronouns for me. It’s just empty.

    That kinda worries me. I feel like I’m stuck in the before with no after.

    • silent_water [she/her]@hexbear.netMEnglish
      7·
      9 months ago

      ahh this one? I posted it a couple of months back.

      you’re actually speaking to a specific fear I had. I didn’t have any specific desires for boobs or feminization or whatever. so what I did was grab some makeup and did my best to feminize my face. the whole world fell away when I saw my reflection. it was like I unlocked something deep within me. it was genuine ecstasy.

      so if the experiences resonate with you, try experimenting with stuff - your appearance, your pronouns, whatever. hell, you can even try HRT for 2ish weeks - that’s frequently one that elicits strong responses in people. if you find something that really works for you, congrats, you’re trans. if you don’t, you know you’re not trans and can sit easy with the knowledge that you’re cis. it’s all reversible (don’t go past 2 weeks on HRT if you’re not certain) and either way, you can close the uncertainty.

      cheers! cat-trans