• IzzyScissor@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    If “your man card can be revoked” then you understand that gender is performative and conditional.

    • Mango@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      I understand that gender is made up and doesn’t matter. There is nothing girly or manly.

    • Thrashy@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      For some the optionality of it is less important than the notion that if it’s performative, you can be bad at it and therefore make yourself an acceptable target for abuse, and besides that the idea that some roles can be restricted to only those with a certain set of physical characteristics is deeply ingrained in many, be that in terms gender, career, or what have you.

  • TxzK@lemmy.zip
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    9 months ago

    It’s often time better to not just argue with these asshats. Waste of your time and energy while achieving less than a dog barking at a tree.

  • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    Ok but also you aren’t nonbinary just because you’re an effeminate man. They’re different things entirely

    • tan00k@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      You can’t gatekeep being nonbinary. Not unless you’re prepared to define it explicitly, which will exclude many people - and not everyone will agree with your definition either.

      • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        I said just because. Not that effeminate men aren’t capable of being nonbinary, merely that it is not sufficient (or necessary for that matter). You have to like actually not identify as entirely a man.

        But it’s not my place to fight I’m very much in the binary side of transness.

        • tan00k@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          Whose authority says it’s not sufficient? If they say they are nonbinary, they are nonbinary.

          • Sadbutdru@sopuli.xyz
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            9 months ago

            This is a miscommunication, you two are not really in disagreement as far as I can see. If someone {presents as an effeminate man} AND {they say they’re non-binary} => {they are non-binary}. However if someone {presents as an effeminate man} AND does NOT {say they’re non-binary}… Then it’s not sufficient.

      • LainTrain@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        9 months ago

        Are you transphobic as well? I’m genuinely curious. Or does transgender count as “real” in your view because it does have a far more strict definition?

          • LainTrain@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            9 months ago

            I am too tbh, I think the weird thing is enbies to me are inherently a sort of political commentary through identity on gender and our relationship to it, unless I’m just wrong.

            I think the whole issue is somewhat separate from trans people who mostly are just people with a mental neurodivergence/disorder called gender dysphoria that causes them anguish and is caused by their body’s sex and their brain’s innate sense of sex don’t agree and therefore they seek medical treatments like HRT and surgeries and documentation changes to help them perceive themselves and be perceived by others as members of the target sex as much as is humanly possible.

            Their political angle is to fight for access to said healthcare to be more common, available through insurance, be taken more seriously with faster wait times and be available to younger people since the effectiveness of a lot of the treatments like hormones depends on the age you start.

            Conflating the two imo is kinda like commentary on attention spans relating to social media and the actual neurological disorder ADHD.

            • MetaCubed@lemmy.world
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              9 months ago

              I think it’s a little “exotic” to call my existence an inherent political commentary. It’s certainly something that can be used to inform political debate, but I believe saying that it’s inherent misses the point that our existence is only political because it’s politicized

              And for what it’s worth, gender dysphoria is also something experienced by nonbinary folks, but it isn’t a requirement of being trans or non-binary either. Some people just don’t experience it and requiring it as a clinical diagnosis is part of the medicalization of our and trans people’s existence as well.

              I don’t really know how to finish this lol, I agree with the rest of your comment. I just wanted to correct what I feel are common misconceptions.

              • LainTrain@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                9 months ago

                Maybe dysphoria isn’t a precondition to being trans, but I don’t get how.

                What I don’t understand is then why transition? If you’re fine as you are, why the hassle? Just as fashion/identity? Body modding for lulz? Nothing wrong with either but it’s very removed from my XP.

                I only transitioned because I needed to, to me GD is a curse treated with medication and surgeries I couldn’t live without and that’s basically all that being trans is to me. The identity of being trans is defined to me by dysphoria - mental torture associated with one’s birth sex fixed by becoming the other, or as close as possible with current tech.

                Also how does enby dysphoria work? Do you just feel dysphoric about a mix of male and female traits? That’s wild if true.

      • chetradley@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        Telling someone whose gender doesn’t conform to the male/female binary view of gender that the term non-binary is a “shit pseudophilosophical concept” that “has no connection to reality” fucking sucks. Either you don’t recognize gender outside of the binary, or you just think these people don’t deserve a way to express and talk about their gender. Either way it’s a garbage take.

  • AItoothbrush@lemmy.zip
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    9 months ago

    Even tho im a cishet male i can absolutely imagine how freaking annoying these people could be.

  • ULS@lemmy.ml
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    9 months ago

    Homophobes are cute. Me and my homies only jerk off to homophobes. Just like those old WW2 vets that invented the gay leather scene. Except now the kink is to dress up as an Ultra-American instead of a German nazi. I got a 1776 shirt literally just to fuck with.

    (One part humor, one part truth, one part bullshit. If my lame comedy makes anyone angry they aren’t living the life they should be. Treat yo self.)

    • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      As a leather woman I do want people to know how the community actually formed. Motorcycling was a socially acceptable hobby and served two purposes: it as a hobby has just always been useful for men dealing with ptsd who aren’t comfortable with therapy (it’s worse than therapy but it’s better than nothing and it’s not like 1948 Americans were ready to hear that John can’t process that he killed someone and that he fell in love with a soldier who died in his arms), and it served as a convenient excuse to get out of town into the middle of nowhere where nobody will see gay sadomasochism unless they came to see it.

      It’s never been a parody of the right, but it has had parodies of what was expected of them. The Nazi fetishists were different folks usually. Though we did have people wearing parodies of us uniforms

    • GiveMemes@jlai.lu
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      9 months ago

      As an amab man with long hair and emotions that is frequently misgenedered (even with facial hair) yall are down voting something that is far too true

        • GiveMemes@jlai.lu
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          9 months ago

          You seem very angry. Is everything alright in your life? I’m sorry that you’re so upset by other people being happy :(

          Enjoy punching holes in your mom’s drywall.

    • TheHarpyEagle@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      Yeah, the “can always tell” crowd. AKA “I don’t think this person is attractive enough to be cis.”

      • Fiona@discuss.tchncs.de
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        9 months ago

        The scientist in me is sooo tempted by the idea of setting up a website where people have to classify pictures of cis and well-passing trans people by AGAB to really drive the point home that no, those fuckers CANNOT tell. They can usually only tell when the person in question is in the progress of medical transition which is an instance of “no shit Sherlock, why do you think we want to get this done as quickly as possible”. And yes, Enbys are a bit of a different story, but even a lot of them pass very well as the opposite of their AGAB, even though they often don’t even identify as that.

        The big issue with this is that the vast majority of people making those kinds of statements are incapable of thinking rationally and instead just continue being bigots.

      • GiveMemes@jlai.lu
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        9 months ago

        Idk dude I ngl I look like a long-haired Charlie Puth (to the point where different people have told me that I look like him on the same night lmao) but somehow people still get the wrong idea lol.

  • Deadeyegai@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    Then as a man, I choose to act like a girly-Man©. See? Has Man© and that symbol makes it official. That means I can do anything <‘ronswanson meme.jpg’> Checkmate. Easy victory

    • Human Penguin@lemmy.cafe
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      9 months ago

      Historically less so. Even back in the 80s lots of girls i knew and thought of as tom boys. Where forced to dress and act girlie by there parents. Further back you go more limits there were.

      • Monkey With A Shell@lemmy.socdojo.com
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        9 months ago

        https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alice_Roosevelt_Longworth

        “I can either run the country or I can attend to Alice, but I cannot possibly do both”

        Chastised by some, loved by others, it depends a lot on the audience. I think overall though women have been given more a pass, pegged as ‘willfull’ or ‘impetuous’ where as with men it’s treated as a flaw that they should be shunned for.

        Think of the differing ways that daddy’s girl and mamma’s boy are perceived to get to what I mean.

  • Cowbee [he/him]@lemmy.ml
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    9 months ago

    Reactionaries have no underlying principles, they just react, violently in some cases. If you guide them through their own cobbled-together set of values and show the contradictions, they get angry and start yelling, because to them, they are their own moral arbiter and a challenge to their status quo is an enemy.

    Gender is a Social construct and getting upset at people for being outside the bimodal spectrum conservative society expects them to be is utterly pointless, stupid, and harmful.

  • Alien Nathan Edward@lemm.ee
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    9 months ago

    it’s designed so that you can’t win except by being and doing precisely what you’re told. this is because it’s designed by evil people and promoted by weak people.