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We like to sit you down, and show you a menu. We take pride on our chewable, edible food. These little fellers here are silverware.
This (gestures expansively to a cup) is what we here like to call a cup! It’s frequently used to hold liquids such as water, which is exactly what I’ve just poured into it.
“Honey, they have drinking bowls with handles!”
“Babe, I think this place might be out of our price range. Why can’t we just go to the place with tableside hamster bottles again?”
“Unlike many other restaurants, we offer a choice of beverages other than water. Some of those beverages will intoxicate you.”
What if I don’t want my water in a “cup”?
You will leave this establishment immediately, you barbarous doorknob. 🫵😤👉
Neat!
The ones that amuse me are the restaurants that don’t do table service, but still have a multiple staff on the floor and door seemingly only to tell diners they don’t do table service.
The only thing worse is when they don’t explain that, and you’re stuck wondering why a waiter hasn’t come over. Yes I understand that the QR code is a menu. No I don’t think it’s more efficient to change the concept of a “restaurant” after 5,000 years.
Best thing is, last place that did this had a unique “fusion” menu. It’s not like the food was self-explanatory. So the waiters had to come to every table anyway, but it was hard to flag them down.
Btw restaurants with menu to choose from aren’t that old
Doubt. Even the Uruk Hai knew of menus
Yes they are. They were already ubiquitous in the Roman Empire. Pompeii has them in its ruins. It’s very recognizable as areas with seating and areas with food preparation / serving.
That’s what they thought, till a Romanian grandma used it to make wool gloves
The point of contention is the menu, not the sit down and eat part.
And the menus?
“Go get it yourself, you fuck! PS, can I have a 47% tip? It’s pre-filled!”
My experience:
“Oh, well, here you need to download an app, consent to everything the app wants to do and register with your phone number. Then you can order and walk to the kitchen to pick up the food you ordered. Also, leave a tip if you enjoyed the service.”
At least around where I am, the places that use an app provide a tablet with that app to order on.
That would be ideal. The place I visited did not provide any such options.
I would walk out and never return to any place that forces me to install an app
“We do family style, which means the portions are more than you can conceivably eat. That way you won’t complain when we overcharge you by a factor of 10.”
“We do ask that you not share…”
But if you do share, we’ll be happy to charge a split plate fee.
“You try stopping her from sharing my food. I have yet to find success in that endeavor.”
I run a restaurant, and encourage people to share. My burgers are 3/4 pounders on garlic Texas Toast, bacon, onion rings, spicy aioli, Dijon and fancy pickles with old white cheddar. If I can sell those for 17, turn a profit and encourage people with smaller appetites to order one and cut it in half, these chain restaurants with 1 dollar input cost instead of 6 can fuck right off.
I mean, you can always pay more money for those tiny plates they sell at super fancy expensive places if that’s more your thing. lol
I once went to a pizza place that had a slogan like “pizza done different” and you went through the a chipotle style line and picked out crust, sauce, toppings, then they made your pizza and gave it to you. I couldn’t figure out that was any different from a regular place.
Most pizza places dont have a Chipotle style line I guess
And the lawyers were careful to use the ambiguous participle “done”.
If they’d gone precise with “Pizza ordered different” it definitely wouldn’t sound so fun
“Pizza ordered different” LMAO
They fart on the dough.
So still nothing different?
If it’s chipotle style, then I would assume there’s more e. coli.
I know both Mod Pizza and Blaze Pizza do this, so yeah, it’s not any different at all.
Were they the the personal size ones? IIRC they are priced as such, and affordable to get multiple toppings it doesn’t hike up the price. Also was a food court thing where the pizzas are made in like 3 minutes instead of 20. In a stone or brick oven. Idk that’s dope imo I would love grabbing that on a lunch break.
Well you see, we have mild AND spicy salsa.
Plot Twist: The spicy salsa is mid at best.
They used an onion to make it so hot.
Bienvenido a España!
Here at Restaurant, we offer “lonely singles style” dining. You order something you want to eat, and then you don’t share it with anyone else. Unless they like, ask really politely for a bite, then that’s on you. At the end of your meal, you ask for the check, then you wait like 20 minutes while going back and forth on whether you really need dessert or not, then you pay and leave!
Also you either pay us or up front. It’s one or the other but we won’t tell you until you flag us down and ask.
“You’ll be working front of the house. Your job is to walk around with these pitchers of ice water and ignore anyone who tries to get your attention”
I feel like this is basically every action horror story ever as well…
“Forget everything you’ve seen in the movies, the only way to kill a Vampire is put a stake through the heart! Guns are useless!”
Ugh, that’s like D&D games where they’re like, your character has no idea about what a vampire is because folklore doesn’t exist in this universe so no one has ever shared a story ever… even though the party has a bard who sings about things people have heard
Right? We don’t need to spend 7 chapters of a 9 chapter story going “Why does this really old, really rich guy only come out at night and talk about not drinking wine!?!?!” When, the fucking cover of the story says “The Vampire Killer 3: The Vampire That Kills”
Where’s the “we want plates” lemmy community? I loved that one on the other site.
Be the change you want to see in the world.
if your server is doing this it’s because innumerable people before you have managed to fuck up eating out
we have something called a menu which you can choose your food from
That man isn’t stealing your scraps or homeless, he’s just bussing your table.
Now before you get your food, you’re definitely gonna wanna make sure you have the mechanics down, so I’d like everyone to just open and close their mouths a few times, get those jaw muscles good and warm because let me tell you, if you haven’t had food before, you don’t know how much you’re going to need them in a second
But if you say yes they say the same speal to remind you
To be fair, most customers that say they totally know how to do everything know precisely nothing and just don’t want to appear ignorant.
Oh, y’all still have wait staff?
We have “digital kitchens” now: https://stories.whataburger.com/whataburger-debuts-new-digital-kitchen-all-the-flavor-with-more-convenience/
Same wait without the staff, tables . . . or blackjack
Placing your order ahead for pick up at the new Digital Pick-up Lane allows our teams in the restaurant, whom we call Family Members, to deliver fresh, made to order food while reducing your time in the drive thru.
jesus christ
If that’s how they treat family, what do they do with strangers?
Take their money in exchange for what many consider “food,” typically.
I didn’t believe you for a moment there but yes guys it does say Family Members on the site and is incredibly cringe.
or blackjack
What about the hookers? WHAT ABOUT THE HOOKERS?
Reminds me of the bars around here that have replaced the wait staff, or maybe the whole wait staff but one overworked person, with QR codes that go to their online ordering system.
I’ve started avoiding them because it always takes forever to find someone when we have a question about the menu, want something specially made or customized, or have a question about an advertised deal or item, etc.
And that’s why this shit won’t catch on, people like you who don’t immediately jump on “The new thing”
Then they slide your silverware or straw over to you and say …and there’s that."
“Yes of course, that”
proceeds to bite into spoon
worst spoon ever
Stupid trendy restaurants with their gallium flatware.
@pizza used to have their own name for every ingredient and would correct you if you asked for something by its regular name
“I’ll have a cheeseburger and-”
“Oh, you must mean our Cheesy Squeezy Chuck Burger”
sharpens table knife
That is why I always bring my own table knife with a 15° full flat grind. Really cuts down on that pesky sharpening time that might let you cool off before the cops come.
True story: I ate at a restaurant inside of a casino and you can’t have a pocket knife when you enter for obvious reasons, they gave me a steak knife with a 5" fully serrated edge when I sat down.
Yeah? That’s what steak knives are…
Yes, but steak knives don’t look scary!
Neither do Swiss army knives. That said, I dress western. Pocket knife mysteriously finds its way behind my belt buckle at metal detectors and no one cares to look down my pants after they see the buckle.
They don’t make you take the belt off? That’s nice.
This obviously doesn’t work at airports. Concerts and such, no one really cares that much.
