It’s just a bunch of emails about making dicks bigger.
“Hot moms in your area want to praise you”.
Dear Jesus, just 2 more inches pls
All the miracles he was planning to give to dying children have been squandered on helping football teams win sorry.
He is Jesus on a budget after all
Jesus: “The important ones will email me again.”
The important ones: “please help I’m being eaten by a bear”
Jesus: “Yeah, sorry 'bout that. The bear prayed for food. it’s family is starving. Your sacrifice is appreciated.”
The no-longer important ones: “WHAT THE FUCK?!”
Jesus: “Oh. now you’re going to hell.”
Forward all to Satan
??? … shit … shit … shit … I meant Santa … Not Satan???
ah fuck … it’s already sent … Oh well … wait another 2,000 years I guess
so waiting perpetually addressed but talk to me about … certainly helping these purely good uhh monkeys that keep praying at me
How many more went to spam?
Not mine, I know he cares about me
What buzzword for marking payers as important Jesus have set up?
“prayers to Trump” “pray away the gay”
What else?
