I’m hella gay in German. Like no shit, Berlin twink in a piss club gay. Totally down for it, it’s crazy how a new language is helping me reject all the “you have to be straight” nonsense my Anglo brain has.
Back when I spoke some Japanese I did, for sure. First there’s more rules for formality so you have to be aware of that context and how you relate to the person you’re talking to. Then there’s the fact that it’s a context dependent language, so when you think you don’t necessarily think of calling attention to the assumed context. There’s kind of a different set of assumptions of how the individual relates to the world that is less discrete and individualistic, which makes it’s way into the language. There’s a variety of ways to refer to yourself as opposed to just “I,” so you have to think of how you want to gender yourself and you don’t refer to others by pronouns, but often with honnorifics that reflect your relationship to them, so it’s harder to think about a person without seeing that relation. And sometimes, as with any language, there’s just a word that’s just right for a concept (kangakata means way of thinking and it’s a nice convenient word to have imo)
I definitely felt more drawn to some feminine speaking styles (though my egg held until years later) so uhh fellas, is it gay to learn a second language?
Very similar to learning Korean which I suck at. I’m not going to idealize Koreans, but I definitely started to notice the general incredible rudeness of Americans as a result of learning Korean, even when they think they’re being nice. Like, in Korea, when you see someone you know, you always greet them, no exceptions. American acquaintances in my experience just kind of greet each other when they feel like it. Their insistence on referring to each other on a first-name basis is also kind of annoying, it’s meant to ease social distinctions but I think it actually intensifies them. I used to think Koreans were ridiculous for constantly using titles (sir, uncle, aunt, teacher, professor, older brother) for addressing each other, but I can see now via Confucianism that it establishes that each person has a role to play in society with relation to everyone else. American individualism (“My name’s Pat but everyone calls me Stacy” like shut the fuck up nobody cares) leaves everyone drowning in a meaningless void. At the same time, getting angry and talking down to strangers in Korea has that much more force. Americans often treat each other like barbarians; Koreans rarely do.
Learning the little Korean that I know also taught me not to fear the difficulty of other languages, in my opinion at least. It’s certainly one of the hardest major languages for English speakers to learn and honestly way harder than Chinese and in a completely different league from Spanish or French. The only major languages I can think of that come close are Japanese and Arabic.
I also sound like a child when I speak Korean so it’s humbling and has taught me to have greater respect for language learners. Americans, few of whom have ever struggled to learn a foreign language, are completely oblivious to this.
