So I (22F) am dating Aiko. I have been for about 4 years. We are also engaged and have been for about 10 months. When I moved near my online friend Beth to the USA, I met her friend since high school Will. We really got along and now we’re dating, have been for 3 months, almost 4.
Well, Will (23NB, he/they BTW so people don’t think I’m misgendering him) is really hung up on this guy he’s also dating, Dave (26M). He started dating him about 2 months ago. They do a lot of things together, such as having sleepovers every week and sleeping on calls and such when they aren’t having sleepovers. They play video games together. They do a lot of stuff together. I can tell Dave means a lot to Will.
Recently, Dave has supposedly been going through a hard time and while Will does a lot more with Dave, he is still romantic with me and I care a lot about him as my partner. Well, Dave says he is depressed and losing interest in everything, but Will thought he didn’t mean him. Will suggested they play a game (I don’t know what, but a new release of a game) together and here Dave is, not responding to Will’s messages and playing the same game he agreed they’d play together.
They stopped having sleepovers and calling as much due to Dave’s depression and being busy and I will not stand for the fact that he made my boyfriend Will cry. What the hell!?
I mean you’re not dating Dave from the sounds of it. Their relationship sounds independent from yours and Will’s, so it seems like this is just something Will will have to process himself IMO.
I’m not even really sure of the question here lol. I also have only limited experience in poly so take that for what it’s worth
Makes sense, I just want to help. But I get it
“Communicate!” Well, Dave won’t because he is “busy” supposedly
“They should break up!” I can’t make him do anything, Will knows the red flags 🚩 but he doesn’t wanna break up. He really loves this guy
I suppose being with depressed people isn’t easy. It might drag down people who are in close proximity. Sometimes severely. And you really don’t want to lose interest in life and your loved ones at 26yo. So maybe they should get some help, if they’re really depressed. I heard you can’t force people to get help. They (more or less) must be willing to get help out of their own motivation. Someone could tell them there’s helplines available to call.
In case that doesn’t work, Will might need to figure out how to protect themselves, or they’ll get hurt by the other person’s mental struggles.
