I’m good trained and saw my friend which was nice now watching twitch and scrolling

Jesus Christ stressed. In addition to gestures broadly at the world, there’s tornado spawning storms sweeping through overnight.

I’m trying to get my brain to shut off enough to sleep and it’s not working.

worried for the future and dying to see consequences for the criminals in my government.

oh and the ecosystem is on fire but there’s an asshole on my block who loves to rev his shitbox engine all day.

Honestly, not bad. The world is a crazy nightmare and terrible. but I have a roof over my head, a kid doing well in school, a job that values me , and my antidepressants are working. Also my birthday is in a couple weeks

Good, all thigs considered.

Had a right rotten week waiting for an oil delivery at my studio, so I wasn’t able to get much accomplished since last Monday. Too cold to work. Today I did manage to get about half my supplies and set pieces put up for the season (I am an art director for several small retail outlets and a restaurant - I change out the interior decor on a seasonal schedule.) so that was nice. Been so chilly in the studio I wasn’t bothering to go in and it had been killing me. Glad I can get back on schedule.

Yeah, today was nice.

Happy, sad, and pissed at myself.

So, today I bought myself some new clothes, for an upcoming social event. I’m happy because I found what I wanted: it fits the dress code and my personal style, and damn, they look good on me. Sad because they costed me more than I was expecting, and I don’t like spending money on this. And I’m pissed at myself because of why I had to buy new clothes: because I’m bloody overweight, the old ones don’t fit me any more, and I don’t see myself getting thinner in the near future.

2:18 here, by the way. No sleep; anime music very related. (You know our night’s busy, keep on dancin’, while the demons are not around…)

…frankly does anyone else here hate the fact English has no word for the time between midnight and sunrise? “Postmidnight” doesn’t cut it, the spelling corrector doesn’t even acknowledge it.

Overall I’m good. Slightly bummed. My wife and I had plans with another couple we just met and they backed out.

To make a long, TMI story short we don’t ever socialize. So a bummer to have been looking forward to that and it not pan out. But eh… I don’t know them other then they drink whisky and smoke cigars, and sometimes my perspective on life clashes a bit with that crowd, so really it could be a bullet dodged.

Headed out to San Diego for a couple days later this month for a work pow wow. Next month my wife and I are going to the Dominican where we will eat, drink and do nothing, so that will be nice.

Oh and I’m building a bar in the dining room. Just bought the cabinets and countertop today so my next couple of weekends will be busy with that.

Overall pretty good. Like Joe Walsh once sang: I can’t complain but sometimes I still do; life’s been good to me so far.

Good, wonderful night…

The following is probably not for the peaceful night, at least in my case, so please skip it if the night must stay in peace.

It’s 0343 here, and I am not sure what to believe anymore… I’ll share some conversation excerpts of my messages from another conversation…

Since I am currently still in Austria for the job case, I got also interested in the following…
While reading the article (about social media surveillance), a few weeks ago, I heard a German-lyric song playing in the website’s built-in web player.
One of the detail that also interested me is that the genre as still magnificent Dark themed Rap or HipHop I don’t usually listen to, and if I am not mistaken, some name it Street Noir, is not quite frequent to hear… in Austria nor Germany, unless it’s quite underground fields of events.
I tried searching for it, but prior downloading and checking out the media file itself, I tried multiple services in addition to the common as Shazam, but nothing was found…

// vmfunc.re/music/peter-pan.mp3

Yet, in the file itself we may see meta tags, including the artist “Kurt M.T.”, and here we find the actual artist in their single published venue, 12 days ago, and… apparently…

I… I… adored… the sound of it… the pace, and even… even… danced… for it… I did… but… b… oh… no…
I do still feel betrayed… I feel… r… I am sorry…
Hinc illae… lacrimae…
… … …

23:34 and I’m bored and have no one to talk to…

And I’m procrastinating on my writing project AGAIN

But eh… I’ll work on it tomorrow lol

Anxious about the future…

Politically… (country could fall apart)

Depression-wise…

Career-wise…

Family-wise… worried that my relationship with parents would shatter… and also worried about what my own future plans for family is… as in a family that I start, not the family of origin. Idk if I’d ever find someone… especially with my depression right now I’m probably not gonna be ready for a long time… I might eventually miss my window…

I was felling pretty shit but now that I can feel the warm spring air in the wind I feel a lot better.

What are you talking about? It’s 9:42…

Had a real good week. I’m grateful