I’m laid up right now and I’m an anxious mess. I’m worried about finances and now my car. My mom said the engine sounded funny when she brought it over to her place, where I’m staying.
I’m getting surgery to fix my ankle tomorrow and I’ll hopefully be wfh a week after that. But I will have missed an entire pay period. My big bills are coming up next week, and idk if I’ll have enough to pay them. I also can’t afford a new car, and I’m afraid I’ll need a new one soon.
I’m so overwhelmed. I’ve been close to tears for almost an hour. I’m sure the excruciating pain of my severely broken bones isn’t helping. I’ve been trying to distract myself with TV, games, and crafts, but the anxiety is still persistently at the back of my mind.
Ask yourself some questions about the situation, and give yourself honest answers.
- Can I do anything about it right now?
- Might I be able to do something about it when I’m better?
- Could I spend some time thinking of potential temporary solutions while I wait, instead of spending that time worrying?
- Is it happening now, or do I have time to come up with something?
- If I think I can’t do anything about it, does worrying help the situation or make it worse?
These are sample questions. Ask yourself about specific concerns that worry you. Sometimes, the responses will require follow-up questions. Point is to end pointless worrying and start looking at the problem logically and realistically, without the emotion clouding your thinking.
That’s a really good idea. I’ll do that.
one way that works for some is to trick your mind by schedule your worrying to a time and date in the future and tell yourself you will handle it then. this gives you a “solution” for your mind to stop worrying about it now, as you have a plan to do it later…
worked for me quite a few times actually…
good luck, and hope you get it sorted eventually either way.
Thank you! I’ll try to schedule worrying for a later date and time and see if that helps. I’m a procrastinator, so I can just keep rescheduling the worrying forever lmao
I feel you. I’ve had struggled with worrying a lot, too. Biggest insight for me was that worries are first of all just fantasies about the future. Start asking yourself more often: “what if everything goes well?” Instead of “what if everything goes wrong?”. Realize, in the realm of fantasies those two questions are equals. Your mom said that she thinks the engine sounded funny. And that’s it for all we know. Maybe she even just misheard. Also, start tackling real problems that may arise step by step. Stringing along worries before they have even arrived is of course paralyzing because fantasies are endless. You often will realize that all those “follow up” problems you fantasized about will never arise because you are very well capable of solving the real problems right away. Friends and family will love to help you if you ask.
Spend some time meditating. Doesn’t matter what meditation practice you start with, really. (You may develop preferences later, but for right at the beginning, just try one. And if you’re overwhelmed with options, I’d recommend starting with a noting practice. Just watch what arises in your awareness without judging, holding onto it, or pushing it away. “Itch”, “thought”, “emotion”, “breathing”, “mental image”, etc. If multiple things are in your awareness, just pick one. Set a timer when you start and do the meditation practice until it goes off. Start with 10 minute sessions. (If that’s too much, try 5 minutes.) Also, it can be done in any relatively comfortable bodily position.
Read current articles about climate change.
I mean, replacing anxiety with existential dread is an option
I haven’t seen it mentioned in the sections I’ve scrolled.
First, there’s some great advice already out there. What I’ll add: breathing exercises, especially box breathing. That, with meditation, has helped me. That can be Headapace, Calm, YouTube, and more. I’ve found the voice and timbre of the speaker matters to me and changes how well it works.
My wife likes some people, I like others. And that’s okay.
The breathing and meditation never immediately helped until I’d learned how to transition to a more “present” frame of mind, but they helped me build the pathway/shortcut.
Stay strong and we’re pulling for you.
Lexapro?
I’m already on psych meds
At least talk to your doctor. He might know of an anti-anxiety medication that would be safe with your other meds.
Yeah. I’m gonna call my psychiatrist tomorrow and see what he thinks would be a good temporary thing. I just had a minor emotional breakdown and woke my mom on accident, so I totally need some help with all my big feelings.
So how’d it go? Was he/she able to help?
Not really. My anxiety eased up because of the pain from the surgery, though. The pain is unbearable and the paineds barely do anything.
Distractions. Keep your laptop handy. Not a gamer? Now’s a fantastic time to start. :-)
My laptop is at my house right now. As is my PS5 and my Switch. My parents said they can bring all of that over at some point, but they’ve been very busy prepping their house for after my surgery. I figured I’d give them the list of things I’d like from my house once they’re not as busy. I’ve been playing Stardew Valley on my phone and it occupied me for like 4 days, but I am kinda burnt out now and need a break lol.
When I can’t stop worrying, especially at night in bed, I like to put on an audiobook. It keeps my mind distracted without being exhausting in another way. Maybe that’s something you could try? I’m sure there’s some service where you can get a trial month or trial audiobook if money is a concern right now.
ETA: And your phone should probably be sufficient for that.
There’s a YouTuber I like that does vids that are basically podcasts. I am incredibly behind on his content… I could get caught up on that.
Sounds like a great idea! I hope you get well soon and your worries turn out to be unwarranted.
Thank you!
I don’t really have any advice for you, but I hope your surgery goes well and you start feeling better soon. I’m sending good vibes your way!
Thank you very much!
If your car drives, and it’s not really old, you probably don’t have to buy a whole new car to deal with whatever issue is making it “sound funny”. Maybe there’s nothing wrong at all, your mom just thinks it sounds funny cuz she’s not used to driving it? I just feel like, if the car actually goes, it’s unlikely to be anything catastrophic.
Do you have pain meds? I think that will help reduce the stress on you, cuz constant pain can make everything seem worse than it is. I also wonder if you have any anxiety meds? If not, I can recommend CBD/CBN for a very gentle calming effect, and It doesn’t make you all high. Maybe you can talk your Mom into getting you some.
I’m sorry you’re hurt. Do you have anyone that can come hang out with you? Seems like being in pain and stuck alone can make things seem worse too. I wish I could help you more to feel better. Good luck!
My car is from 2015, so it isn’t super old. My mom just got a new car, so she may just be comparing hers to mine. I’m hoping my car isn’t going. Last time I drove it, it felt and sounded fine.
I am on Vicodin every 6 hours, but it only takes the edge off the pain. I take baby aspirin at night, but that’s to prevent blood clots. My mom has some muscle relaxers that help a bit when my muscles start to spasm.
I’ve been trying to coordinate with friends to hang out on Discord, but they’re all busy until tomorrow. My surgery is tomorrow, so I probably won’t be up to talking then. They’ve been really responsive on our group chats, though, so it’s not like I’m not socializing lol
Can’t hurt to have the docs prescribe some low dose benzoyl or other med for the anxiety. But the distraction suggestion is also good. Get some reading done.
Counseling can be done on a phone. I would suggest this over advice from internet randos.
I mean, I plan on getting therapy at some point, but there’s no harm in getting advice from others. Like, I’m obviously not going to follow shitty advice lol.
Breathe more slowly. You need to make the exhalation as long as you possibly can.
Only worry about what you can change right now in this moment. Everything else is irrelevant. Take on your challenges one at a time and communicate as much as possible with everyone around you. Most people you encounter want to help you if you just have the courage to ask for help.
I was hit by 2 cars riding to work on a bicycle 2/26/14. In a nutshell, I had a broken neck and back. This is the best advice I can give.
Your car is probably low on oil, just needs new spark plugs, or the battery needs replacing. You need a good shade tree mechanic that is honest or a friend that is into cars or was. If you know anyone that worked on their own project car and did motor stuff on their own, that is the person to talk to first. I was that kind of person. I can tell what is wrong with a car just by hearing it, or at most, driving a short distance. There are lots of people like me that want to help you too.
Take care of yourself and ankle. Everything else will work itself out
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I have a good mechanic that does free evaluations. I’m going to schedule with him as soon as I’m back to driving. Right now, I just want my parents to turn my car on every once in a while to keep the battery alive, and make sure my tires don’t go flat. I won’t be driving again for 2-3 months.
Good luck. If you don’t feel substantially better within 3 weeks, schedule appointments with other reputable doctors and have them take a look at your situation. I know this advice may feel excessive, but I never fully recovered, didn’t do this, and really wish I had. Find reputable doctors by asking anyone that works around doctors regularly who they would seek out if they had the same injury as you. Think about asking people in places like radiology where they encounter many doctors in situ and know their operating room personas.
Thank you. I plan to ensure that I heal properly. If anything seems wrong, I’ll be calling my surgeon immediately. This guy is one of the best ankle specialists in the country, so I’m confident in him
