If it turns into a Chiefs - Falcons Super Bowl with a large point spread, sell your house, your car, your kidney, and your daughter and bet it all on the Falcons to cover and thank me later. This is how that game will go down:

Chiefs will come out over confident and play like complete garbage because no team plays down to the competition better than the Chiefs. Kadarius Toney will pull a hamstring coming out of the tunnel. Sky Moore will drop every ball thrown his way, eventually start running the wrong routes, try catching balls not meant for him, and dropping those too. Isiah Pacheco, in the days leading up to the Super Bowl, signs a peace treaty with the ground and now runs much more gently on it. What really causes the offense to stall though is Jawaan Taylor getting flagged 7 or 8 times doing the exact same thing the Falcon’s right tackle is doing which constantly puts the Falcon’s in reasonable field position from which they use their MVP, Younghoe Koo, to put themselves up ahead 12-0 going into half time.

After the half, the Chiefs offense stalls out on 3rd and inches a few times when, instead of just handing the ball off and taking it right up the middle, Reid calls for a triple reverse jet sweep and some play they made up called duck, duck, goose that fails spectacularly. Meanwhile, the offensive failures combined with multiple Chiefs penalties, including an unsportsmanlike conduct call on Chris Jones for looking violently at Desmond Riddler, has allowed Koo to carve up the Chiefs special teams by adding a couple more field goals and the score is now 18-0 going into the fourth quarter.

At this point, the Falcons have paid the Patrick price. Mahomes just starts scrambling for first downs and throwing the ball to Travis Kelce because Atlanta’s defense, like all others, apparently forgot he was an eligible receiver. After the Chiefs score two touchdowns and a field goal (that would have been a touchdown had it not been called back due to a questionable offensive pass interference call on Mecole Hardman), the Chiefs have the ball with time running out down18-17 while threatening to get into field goal range. On a 4th a and 5, Mahomes throws a 15 yard pass to Rashee Rice that would have put the Chiefs in field goal range had he come down with it. But wait… there is a flag. Replays show an Atlanta defensive back grabbing Rice’s face mask and horse collar all while giving him a reach around. After a short officiating gathering, they decide to call it pass interference and moves KC into field goal range where they win the game.

Afterward, r/nfl is littered with multiple posts claiming this Superbowl needs an asterisk and the officials gave the game to KC using such classic lines as, “that facemask penalty where he ripped Rice’s helmet off was very ticky tack,” and “at the end of the game, the officials just need to let them play.” A Chief’s fan who is new to r/nfl creates a post showing multiple angles of the attempted murder of Rice and explains in detail how it was the correct call only to have the post removed as low effort while 2 posts below it is a tweet by Mike Florio saying Joe Burrow probably doesn’t even like Skyline Chili which is allowed to stay for some reason.