• Burstar@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 year ago

      The whole conversation is a facepalm. This should have been 3 lines:

      “What’s the last song you saved?”

        'I am not comfortable sharing that information with you'
      

      “Okay, if you’re aren’t willing to let me get to know your basic interests clearly this isn’t the kind of relationship I’m looking for. Good luck and have a nice day” [ends transmission]

      • stevedidWHAT@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        That sure would be nice but that pesky ego/personality is a tough one to ignore.

        I personally found that a lot of the women I talked to on dating apps acclimate themselves by becoming more jaded, sarcastic etc as a defense.

        Can’t blame em haha

      • Smokeydope@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        If only people were straight forward and detached.

        Fantasy: “This relationship is not working out anymore, it is time for a break up/ divorce so we can move on with our long term lives in a more positive way.”

        “Yes I agree let us proceed forward in a calm and reasonable manor with no screaming or anger. We shall split assets in a fair and non-childish way.”

        “Okay I will be staying in another house/motel until the house is sold, have a good one”

        “You too!”

        Reality: 5 hours of incoherent scream fighting, crying and baseless threats followed by another 5 hours of passionate makeup sex

      • stevedidWHAT@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Nah, it’s the overall response pattern, tease, deny reject, feed after something really bad happens.

        It’s classical abuse techniques

        • HardlightCereal@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          How is the yellow one teasing? I just see a really emotionally unavailable person with no interest in vulnerability. There’s nothing appealing or interesting, so how is it enticing interest? And what does feed mean?

          • stevedidWHAT@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Because someone is showing interest in him on an app that’s designed for finding interested people. He then reciprocates that curiosity and interest in him with “I’m not gonna tell you”

            “Come on tell me”

            “Haha no”

            That’s textbook “teasing behavior”. Feeding is when the abuser flips about face and apologizes and does big grandiose corrections for previous behavior and then the cycle continues. This dude didn’t get that far but that’s pretty sensible considering they were only just talking and that technique is reserved as a way to “reel them back in”

            • HardlightCereal@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              Man, I don’t understand neurotypicals. In whatever world my brain is meant to be in, opaque people are unappealing

              • scottywh@lemmy.world
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                1 year ago

                I don’t think there’s anything typical about that behavior outside that incel, wannabe player, pick up artist community … Or whatever the fuck they call it these days…

                • HardlightCereal@lemmy.world
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                  1 year ago

                  Oh, no, I mean being susceptible to these tactics. To my autism brain, whatever “trick” this incel is using is the equivalent of holding up a huge sign saying “I AM VERY BORING”. I don’t get how this attracts anyone.