What’re you into, what’re you looking forward to, what’re you happy about?
Please
I am feeling terribly self-harmy in advance of my birthday next week
I got to the point of making a pros and cons chart
give me something to be vicariously happy about or something to look forward to, please
@FourteenEyes@hexbear.net please come tell me your relationship is going swimmingly
@FearsomeJoeandmac@hexbear.net please tell me about the trash you’re eating this evening or ask me a ridiculous question
@ashinadash@hexbear.net & @magi@hexbear.net please tell me something cute about your relationship
@Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net please tell me anything, everything you post is great
@ReadFanon@hexbear.net please lecture me about how there’s better ways to deal with this or literally anything, I am delighted by your discourse on everything
@HarryLime@hexbear.net please tell me some wolf facts or something
I’m too tapped to continue this roll call, which could definitely go on forever
Hi!! We just spent an hour rearranging our bedroom hifi and sweating it out together
More generally I like that we discovered together that we have autism, because I ended up lookin into it and self-dx’ing and then she did too, which was rad. I also really appreciate that she and I are of different generations, so we often have different, complimentary views and experiences
Also she introduced me to hexbear. Wifey is much better at technology than I am tbh
Pulled up to taco bell just in time apparently. I’m getting one of those cheese it crunch wrap supremes.
What’s up?
Ngl, you seem like the type to rate food by whether it’s bussin’ or not…
I’m 34. No.
If it’s greasy and unhealthy, unfortunately I generally like it though
I have a bit of a dad bod and this crap has probably shaved 5 years off of my life, but it was so worth it.
I had the “Mr. Beast Box” for lunch. It was greasy and disgusting and god damn was it tasty. I feel like an old geezer seeing fast food tie-ins with YouTubers
I am the shortarse in our relationship but I can bench press her
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
Here’s a couple of photos of some emus I encountered once upon a time. I was in a vehicle and they kinda dashed by fairly quickly so I didn’t get a chance to take some really good shots but it was neat to see them in the wild.
I like thinking about my birthdays as being anniversaries of my survival. I’m not sure if it’s going to be suitable for your situation but for me instead of thinking back to my childhood or my shitty family, I like framing it as being a yearly marker where I’ve succeeded despite the odds.
This feels safer and more comfortable for me because it allows me to acknowledge hardships that I’ve faced and I don’t feel compelled to feel enthusiastic or to celebrate things that don’t really resonate with me. I can be like “Fuck yeah, I worked hard at this and I made it through another one”. This also has the upshot of taking the pressure off of me from feeling the pressure to celebrate it with others because my survival is a very personal affair and I wouldn’t feel inclined inclined to invite other people to join in this because it’s not about them and it’s not for them. Although this also allows room for change too because I am able to welcome people into this experience of celebrating my survival, if I choose to.
There are things to hold out for. The world is changing very rapidly these days and the advances in medicine are pretty astonishing. I completely understand what it’s like to question whether it’s worth continuing on if things are going to remain as they are right now but try to allow space for the fact that choosing to continue means that you are allowing for the opportunity for things to improve, and that’s truly invaluable. I know that it it probably doesn’t feel like it’s true but I genuinely mean it when I say that it is.
I also want to mention that a typical person tends to underestimate themselves. A person who struggles with serious challenges in their lives and especially in their mental health tends to underestimate themselves even more. You are stronger, more intelligent, more valued, and more resourceful than that part of you which wants to convince you otherwise.
In other news, a little while back I made a post about how anticapitalist and socialist discourse has become super normalised in the media and I keep on coming across random, basically apolitical content where people shit on capitalism openly and directly. I’ve even seen the milquetoast progressive-ish left which is very hostile to radical politics engaging with concepts and symbolism of the radical left and I think that’s because they do not feel comfortable in ignoring it any longer. The anti-landlord discourse has also kicked up massively in the past couple of years especially, at least in my corner of media consumption and it has already become completely normalised. People who aren’t diehard communists will do things like mention Mao in comments sections when landlords get discussed lol. I used to feel like the fringe lunatic ranting and raving about radical stuff in most mainstream corners of social media. These days I routinely come across ideas and comments where I simply agree with no notes to add and often there will be comments that surprise me in how openly radical they are.
Also I’m putting a freshwater shrimp tank together for the first time in my life. It’s been a bit delayed due to a period of worsened mental health for me and being broke/putting too much money towards causes but soon enough I’m going to have an aquarium for the first time in my life and I’ll have some little critters doing their thing in the tank. Not that exact type of shrimp but something similar. I’m looking forward to trying my hand at doing some aquascaping and seeing how I go with setting up the aquarium, and I’m excited share some pics of what I put together. I hope I’ll be able to show you the completed project sometime soon.
Anyway, I hope that things go smoothly for you. Of course in the long term but especially in the next week or so.
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
I don’t have wolf facts but I have these
It is. We’re taking the hiccups in stride and trying hard to communicate with each other. I bought her a silver coin pendant which has the vegvisir on one side and aegishjalmur on the other, and plan on giving it to her when we go to the renn faire in a few weeks. The more we learn about each other the more we like each other. She has me watching romcom animes (ToraDora right now) and I’ve been inflicting my weird gamer youtubers on her like Ross Scott and Civvie11. We like each other a lot, and even told each other “I love you” for the first time recently in the nerdiest way possible: referencing the “would you love me if I was a worm” meme in relation to Dune.
I really love her. I’m glad we met.
Pro: I love you and the world is a better place with you in it, even if birthdays are… a mixed bag so to say
I mean, hell, my partners car popped a tire so we had to borrow her mom’s car and it didn’t have A/C, so we had to run our errands in 90°F+ heat and couldn’t even enjoy our leisure time because we were dying from getting baked
And my birthday cake melted in the heat too, but we salvaged it
Suffice to say, there’s ups and downs and believe me, sometimes those downs are downs
You are a beautiful spark in the darkness, don’t let it snuff you out
I’m hoping your birthday is well and you post more doggo and chicken pics!
i got mint, so i either will make cookies with ginger and min or try it with chili pepper (for science). Also its great in tea
. But my genius will have to wait till the weekend
Ooh mint tea is very nice ^^
Also partial to mojitos
its also (surprisingly) nice in red tea
Mhm, mint is very versatile. Also grows easily of you plant it by itself. It’s also nice if used sparingly with rice also, coconut & mint rice with a hot curry for example
My partner made extremely yummy food! I failed to beat Malenia again today, so that’s 2 days of trying, but I’ll get there. I made it to phase 2 today, so it’s only a matter of time!
In general, I am extremely fortunate to have made it to a point where I truly don’t feel like my life is missing anything, and can reliably keep a roof over my head with some savings. I know this is more than many people can say for themselves, but I allow myself to be happy about my own position, as I’m ultimately just another worker.
I wish I could reach out and help you, but in absence of that I want to say I am here to lend an ear if you need help. It does get better. I used to think about harming myself daily, even hourly, but I can say that over time those feelings have become far less frequent. It still happens every once in a while, or I’ll get extremely anxious, but forward progress keeps me hopeful.
I hope you have a happy birthday!
I look forward to finishing the 2 volumes of Das Kapital, yet happy I completed the first one days ago…
and I think of traveling around countries, maybe Philippines or some other country (Southeast Asia likely; one of my parents are of such origins)
I live in a cannabis post-prohibition country, so I can grow and use my medicine without fear of being kidnapped, thrown in a cage, and tortured to death like back in the old country (Imperial Core). I hope you are able to light up and celebrate if you are so inclined.
Also, there is so much interesting shit to watch happening, you don’t want to miss out!
I wish you a happy birthday!!
Helped a ton of trans people this week with resources, love seeing the relief in people’s eyes when I help them out
Totally recommend sticking in this world just to help people out. Those memories of helping people really light up my dark days.
Hey what’s up, I got my friend to play some video games with me which I hadn’t done in a while. It’s surprising how much more fun it is to do something with other people as opposed to going alone.
It’s your birthday and your still kicking. I will make more shit posts to come
Life’s good
We love you happy birthday pal
:meow-hug:
I’m going to go on a vacation in a couple of weeks. We go to the same place every time but, it has its charms. I feel in better shape to climb the lighthouse this year. I wish you could see the beaches too, the ones I like have their rustic charms that I enjoy and I’m sure you would too.
You ever been near the coast? If so, how did you enjoy it?
I’ve been getting back into making radio control models which has finally helped me really look forward to doing things. It’s the first time I’ve been able to focus on something and just think without my mind churning. I might’ve found a model flying club that will accept me (I’m openly and very obviously trans) but even if not I’ve already found someone who wants to fly with me.
I’ve also reconnected with someone I knew from high school and I think we might become friends. I’m looking forward to hearing from her more.
But one big event I’m looking forward to is you posting here after your birthday that you made it.