Imagining push notifications on for Wall Street Journal, CNN, and the New York Times

Abortions for some and miniature flags for others

Schrodinger’s economy

Really the only two that are in conflict are the nyt and wsj. But job growth can slow even if hiring beat expectations, if expectations were low. CNN seems to be the most accurate in this instance. It’s also the one that’s not basing their headline on entirely subjective “expectations”

Using Verizon is hilarious, yes.

the nyt is for you (a liberal) and the wsj is for your boss (a capitalist). cnn is now for conservatives.