There’s so much stuff that would feel weird and stereotype-y to see someone else do and think, “they must be trans!” but when I think back on myself doing them, my only thought is, “oh, so that’s what that was about.”
There’s so much stuff that would feel weird and stereotype-y to see someone else do and think, “they must be trans!” but when I think back on myself doing them, my only thought is, “oh, so that’s what that was about.”
Seeing myself in mirrors as a tween and teen and thinking “who is that” while getting increasingly disgusted in how I looked as I got older. I remember distinctly thinking that looked like boys in class and they didn’t look disgusting or like they hated their bodies and couldn’t figure it out.
For one reason or another, my mom insisted on shaving my head when I was 12 or 13. When I see pictures or video footage of myself from that summer, I don’t recognize myself at all and have never been able to reconcile that I’m looking at my own physical form without feeling a wave of revulsion. I suppose that a cis person would look at something like that and think “holy shit, I was a cringey teenager,” but for me, it’s a dysphoria trigger.
…it doesn’t help that it looked like there were dents in my head. If I ever meet my father, the first thing I’m going to do is start poking him in the top of the head while yelling, “HOW DO YOU LIKE IT? HOW DO YOU LIKE IT? HUH? HUH?”