She’s a Bitch, I hate her, If I don’t answer shell ruin my life but night after night I ask her to call again only for her to make me miserable again and again.

I would expect the wise old man in the mountain to understand what an Idiot is.

(phone ring): Dooot Dooot do DOOOOOT.

Hello?

This is god.

Oh hey the sign on the church said we had bad reception in here and you wouldn’t call.

This call is regarding your card extended warranty.

God damn it.

That’s blasphemy.

Don’t do it unless it makes you happy and remember it inherently emotionless state so you can objectively never do it.

To be fair she has never seen big black CockRoach before, they just know how to get into those tight little holes better than she was expecting.

This is no longer a joke since YouTube is blocking all third party ones in favor of there ability to skip sponsors on premium accounts.

Mr Nick‘s, you must concede that all humans have been slightly naughty after all you know when they have been naughty or nice.

Hohohorrible, giving all children coal to fill your pockets is simply unethical, it is literally going to destroy the world for your own profit!

Mr. Nicks we are willing to take over full production of your toy factory and cut you in 2% of all future sales, given you are currently giving away your toys for free this will be infinitely more profitable and you can finally retire in Hawaii in luxury instead of slaving away in a cold dark workshop.

Well that’s not the point, it is for the good boys and girls.

Mr. Nicks we have here a professional philosopher and he says there is no such thing as good or evil given your sudo omnipresent nature we must assume you are well aware of this and must have an alternative motive, we are prepared to file an injunction with the courts to have all further imports of goods from the North Pole restricted and air control will Shoot down any unauthorized flying slays…. Or you can sign this document, the choice is yours but I would choose the more profitable option.

Why this has got to be the most Evil thing I have ever seen.

Good, I expect to see plenty Coal delivered to the Black Sky Coal plantation.

I don’t think anyone noticed the shadow of the barber strangling the guy.

Dang, I never knew I had such a passion for photography until I started working here.

It wasn’t in the job description you said I had to instruct people on how to swim.

But you need to at least know how to swim.

That’s it, I’m suing.

I agree that’s why I don’t listen to all the hater’s who say my distro Choice of Android Tv is bad.

This is more historic than a meme, the majority of those “Spices” were addictive drugs.

It’s ok, they don’t work for themselves they work for an entity that legally requires them to prioritize profits, they have to endorse the murder of CEO’s up to and including themselves in cases of conflict.

I remember the old days when he would split the red sea or turn wine water into wine, these shows just ain’t what they used to be.

As we can see from this advanced simulation, the perpetrator had 13 fingers you are the only person who has 13 fingers the evidence is obvious.

Mr. Thirteen Fingers, I simply do not understand how an innocent man like yourself can take a dark turn and suddenly commit over 300 crimes scattered throughout every country across the globe, you had every reason not to commit them but you did it anyway, how do you plead?

Would it matter if I said not guilty?

That whole clear and obvious trend I mentioned is a good place to start, but as far as the language nobody currently speaks the last thing you want to say when trying to get everyone to adopt something is that it won’t benefit anyone.

As far as Chinese, Spanish, Hindi, etc. yes those could be a good option but they are simply not the best option.

I personally don’t think it’s a bad thing that the world is moving closer to having a universal language, and resisting a clear and obvious trend that serves an obvious public good is simply being obstinate and anti American just for the sake of being anti American.

Hay… Haven’t I talked to you before?

No, I’m that guy’s manager.

Nah, na, na. You were the first guy I spoke to, about 500 managers ago, you’re the receptionist.

Oh, yeah, I work two jobs, got to pay the bills.

Ooookay, then can you help?

What with the problem you had before? No, that’s a different department, you’ll have to talk to my manager.

The guy you just referred me to?

Yes.

Who eventually referred me back to you?

Yes.

I’m starting to think I’m in hell.

Hay, Hay, Hay. Here at Progressive insurance we strive for customer satisfaction.

There is, they will arrive in 3-5 business centuries.

Wait…. But we had 50 rapes today and the perpetrator is unknown.

Unfortunately I couldn’t save everyone.