remedia

And then wonder why you haven’t built a statue of him.

Not saying you’re wrong, but sometimes when you lose someone important, you compartmentalize it so hard you’re basically denying to yourself that it happened. The ugly crying and breakdowns sometimes happen later, when it really sinks in.

Hoping for the best with your little guy.

There’s a time to run, scream and shout. There’s also a time to fight like a cornered animal. It’s all very situational. There’s an entire spectrum of scenarios out there, and a basic self defense class isn’t going to teach it. They’ll usually give you a few “tricks” and send you on your way. I’ve been training fighting and self defense for 26 years, been teaching for 13. I’m just a random on the internet, but there are a lot of cons out there in this field. Many will claim to give you a silver bullet that will fix everything. There are no silver bullets. Some situations you’re just fucked by default. Learning how to use credible, effective force within the confines of what society will accept and not send you to prison for life for is very complicated and takes a lot of practice. Even then, you might fail. Happens all the time.

If you want some good reading material on the topic, try “Scaling Force: Dynamic Decision Making Under Threat of Violence” by Rory Miller. It’s a lot more complicated than the average self defense class makes it seem, and the instructor doesn’t have to answer for your actions. You do.

Maybe look into the legality of lethal force, and the circumstances under which you can use it. A knife isn’t any more of an end-all-be-all than a gun is. Nowhere near every situation requires lethal force, which a knife legally is, regardless of the end results.

Somehow, fascism returned.

You gave him a good life, and all he knew was love. You letting him move on when it became necessary was a brave thing to do, and objectively the right thing.