i’m still closeted to a large part of my family, mainly because i’ve been living very far away from them for a long time, but i will add a tentative level based on prior interaction. a lot of this involves my partner’s family simply because i live with them.

level 1: partner and sister. sister was over the moon when she learned. our dad really did make some queerdos! were he still alive, i think my dad would also be a 1.

level 2: partner leans into this territory sometimes. his siring parent is an intersex trans woman who has been largely absent from his life but he never disparages her identity. tentatively putting my stepdad (i still call him this despite having divorced my mother) here as i recently found out through him that his sister’s kid is transmasc and he’s been concerned about anti-trans laws being passed in their home state. i say 2 for him because i don’t know how he’ll handle the complexity of my gender. that said, his current partner would probably also be 1-leaning-2.

level 3: tentatively putting my partner’s mother here. she works as a florist for a local grocery chain and we go shop at this store periodically and i do see a lot of visibly queer people working there, i just don’t know how she feels about them. and well, her ex is the previously mentioned intersex trans woman. second-hand accounts suggest they at least tolerate each other. would probably also place my sister’s mother here because i genuinely do not know her feelings on anything anymore. is there a level 0?

level 4: i’m putting my partner’s younger brother here, leaning 5. i am not convinced this dude is tolerant of anything outside of his narrow understanding of life from mainstream video games and whatever youtube he watches all day. and i’m a little scared it may go to 6 if my paranoid inclinations are correct. best case scenario is he calls his brother the f-slur (despite being scolded for using it while gaming before).

level 5: probably my mother, whom i haven’t spoken to in a decade and change and i don’t plan on ever doing so again. she did not take it well when i mentioned a friend of mine was bisexual, so i never came out to her as bisexual. she also didn’t believe me when i said i was a lesbian, and did the weird “you just needed to find the right man” response after i started dating my current partner. i think she’d have a conniption if she found out i was trans and genderqueer. could potentially be level 6 but just disowning, and i would be so fucking relieved if she did. also gonna put my formerly-adoptive father on this level because he has a trans sister he vehemently hates and always misgenders and also strongarmed me into breaking up with a trans girl i was dating when i was 18. were my father still alive, he’d have to pretend to tolerate me probably.

oh god this got long how to i collapse this

i can’t find the exact one right now but i think the old logo is in the same style as boggartowl, the artist of this telegram sticker set. i remember finding it before when i still had tg and i was like “oh hey i know that shark from that lemmy instance i use”.

so yeah, probably best y’all got new art…

deleted my decade-old tumblr account a week ago today because i’m so fucking tired of the aggressive culture there, found out i owe seven months of backpay to my out-of-state storage unit trying to find out if i could transfer the unit to my sister so she can take care of the bill (or at least take everything out), had a rough therapy session (that capped off nicely with her asking my name and pronouns as i came out to her the week before), and uhhh, iunno.

yesterday’s stardew session with my fandom group wasn’t fun mainly due to how short it was and we were down one. i’ve been missing having talks with these folks but everyone’s too busy anymore. i gotta get out of this damn house but it’s the fucking surface of venus outside (hyperbole).

is there any reason you don’t want to use kaidan for XMPP instead?

mortido really bad. i can’t continue being unmedicated.

i… may have misinterpreted something in the second half as doomguy having a black eye :/

b.j. blazkowicz would never

where are the SOCKS

i literally deleted the last 5 letters off my birth name. hoping to come up with something better soon, or maybe i’ll stop worrying about the implications of calling myself samael…

internet was only up maybe for 5% of the time since thursday. google sent in like the fourth tech this morning to replace the fiber coil a second time, it’s almost 12 hours later so far so good.

but it was a real fuckin’ frustrating time being apart from my friends.

afaik coral castle didn’t purposely shutter

apparently this happened last week too, who knows

i don’t remember the week, but my weekend started out fine with some unscheduled friend gaming hangouts but last night i had a huge anxiety attack and had to cancel a game (scheduled, that i host) and i just remembered i should’ve been playing pokémon rumble this entire time (it’s rumble weekend, would’ve been my first but i can’t stream it)

i would certainly never turn up my nose at an oatmeal raisin cookie, so i will just say “correct”.

mainly i meant the “on paper” bit towards anyone with a particularly overblown hatred of men, which feels like a lot of people i know. i rebuke it.

anyway i ate some raisin toast. i always forget about nausea from hunger.

i only glanced at the threads on this situation but i’m glad to see the escape has worked/is working out. good tidings to the future.

a concept of radical feminism, feminist separatism, believes in reshaping society to separate women from men. it may sound good on paper but so much falls in the margins beyond man and woman that i don’t understand how the separation is supposed to be enforced. would i be accepted but misgendered, or would my identity be respected but i have to be ousted?

i’m just so tired of being perceived as dangerous based on (part of) my gender.

woke up to sepfem rhetoric being perpetuated by a prominent trans woman online and felt sick to my stomach so i guess i’m not eating today ✌️

i was always bi/pan but with a preference for women, but i feel like coming into transmasc(-ish) genderqueerness made me somehow “gayer” for men than before.

may i ask where you got those sweet pentagram garters?