I might have some kind of stomach condition—I fart too much 💨💨💨
Let he, who is without a cum, cast the first load.
Good clean fun
I remembered the Macarena video and it warmed my heart
My girl made brownies. This is why I’m 20 pounds too heavy.
“Listen, the buck stops when they get in the way of my treats.”
Ya. You like touché?
My wife is snoring and I can’t sleep. But I also can’t disturb her cuz she’s cute
Got my covid booster and the flu shot. My arms fucking hurt so much.
I went grocery shopping last night and didn’t buy eggs cuz I thought we had some. We don’t.
Now I have everything for a full breakfast except the eggs.
I got my cats new fancy toys
Fool was brainwormed as shit: talking about stoves, Brandon, and trans-hate on his Twitter.
I think my new cat is a dwarf
I need to fix my road bike. I miss it.
oh you remember the thing