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Joined 11 个月前
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Cake day: 2024年6月18日

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  • Ngl, this terrifies me. Because I know exactly how dumb I was ten years ago. And then I agonize about the decisions I make today - am I going to look back in ten years and feel the regret about who I am now that I do about who I used to be?

    It can be paralyzing, or I end up tending to make the safest, least risky choice, for fear of “doing it wrong” rather than what might make me happiest or serve me best





  • From an objective outside perspective, you’re right. I need to take care of my own happiness, and my wife has a right to leave a relationship that doesn’t meet her needs. I suppose I need to just keep transitioning at my pace and keep communication with my wife open about how we’re both feeling. I just hope that we can find a way for me to be myself and still have a happy relationship. It’s just hard to imagine losing so close to me that I’ve been with for so long. If there’s anyone I would sacrifice my transition for, it’s her, but I also understand that not being true to myself would be doing her a disservice


  • Thank you 💜 it sounds like you have a wonderful partner! I hope that my wife and I can have the same experience. She really is incredible and my best friend. It’s hard for me to accept right now that I might have to be okay with separating if she just isn’t attracted to femme-me, but you’re right, if there are needs she has that I can’t meet, I can’t deny her that. I hope, though, that no matter what happens, we can stay in each others’ lives in a big way.


  • Thank you 💜 I fortunately have a great individual therapist who does have experience working with other trans and queer clients, but I think you’re right, that a trans-affirming couples therapist is probably a good idea. I know the local LGBTQ resource center has some recommendations, l’ll have to check it out.

    I also think you’re right that I shouldn’t prejudge anything. It’s obviously been a tumultuous few months, and I probably need to be more patient with my wife coming to terms with everything. Like I mentioned, she’s autistic, so even smaller changes can be hard for her. It’s just difficult for me, because I really want that reassurance that our relationship will survive (or hopefully thrive), and even if we do get to that place, it’s going to take some time.