AGENT

there is or was a reddit community that posted photos of these bozos and tracked their shenanigans. they called them “whackers”. it’s one thing (albeit lame) to be a private security guard. it is a whole other deal when they purposely try to make themselves look like official LEOs with shields, logos that look like badges, and official sounding verbiage. because digging into the details of any of these weirdos generally results in paydirt.

anyway, think about the kind of piece of shit who can be a cop in the US. now, imagine the guy who couldn’t meet the bare minimum psychological or background check requirements (which don’t seem to exist, but you know there’s some kind of floor, below which no agency in the US will hire) but still wants to command the attention and respect on the streets.

Jeremy Dewitte is the king of this shit with his “Metro State” Vehicle Protection Services. there are probably a hundred videos on youtube of this guy getting caught pretending to be a cop by cops. he used to have his own channel where he recorded videos of himself impersonating a cop and upload them. stuff like pulling people over and giving them warnings, being generally menacing and threatening. he buys all of the most insane gear, multiple vehicles with modifications, and just does this shit. there was a lot of speculation about how it was all afforded, because the funeral escort game cannot be that lucrative. his wiki is wild.

I went to this little deli place in the small, chill and frankly Mayberry RFD ass town I live in, and this 5’6" ass guy comes walking around a corner with his drink refill to go back to his seat and eat his little sammy.

and the guy is 100% kitted out with the fully loaded plate vest, multiple guns in holsters and all the bullshit is color coordinated for light desert camo. this is a forested temperate region and you’d have to fly like 650 miles in a straight line to even find a piece of landscape to blend into. it has like POLICE across it too and his table had like 4 other pigs in their normal oink oink gear.

it was such a a surreal getup I almost said, “dude how the fuck is any of that necessary?” but I didn’t want to get blown away by possibly the most insecure and heavily armed loser on the planet.

what the goddam eff

runner up: Brett Farve

all time top choice: Jim Caviezel

Marjorie Taylor Green aka
Marjorie Taylor 👑 QUEEN 👑

the tears were harvested and fed into bidens silent face hole. his eyes darkened and became full of stars.

his robes stirred, a wind of invisible voices.

death is not the end. REJOICE!
death is not the end!

i think ill stick with my method where i just cram the hot food in as fast as i can, burn the christ out of my mouth and make noises while i try to suck air in without aspirating anything, exhale mouth wide while saying, “fuck fuck fuck hot hot hot” and then get mad at god for doing this to me.

I’m still SHOW DUDES HARD for KLOBUCHAR.

the plot looks cheese balls, but I will totally watch this slop immediately. it looks very expensive and that’s my favorite genre of spectacle.

stuffing my face with yumyums on the couch, watching massive set pieces orchestrated for my viewing pleasure in HD, crumbs everywhere.

ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!

I would definitely describe any country as “struggling” with their food system if they are resorting to American food standards.

my shoot from the hip answer after listening to Season 3 of blowback a few years ago is that the US is the main force against a unified Korea, even conceptually, because it has consistently been the case that the DPRK would emerge as the dominant political project in any “clash” or even completely peaceful and equitable re-integration. the imperialist puppet is a highly dysfunctional organization riddled with gangsters, grifters, property bubbles, and bizarre right-wing cultists who claim supernatural powers. not to mention the various capital formations of chinilpa and their descendants.

without the US presence to bolster the puppet’s security apparatus (which was an overt military dictatorship until 1987) and guarantee lines of credit, it would probably fold under the near immediate civil unrest that would follow any left-shift of “acceptable discourse” about worker rights, housing reform, universal education, etc. if you want to read about some fucked up people, look up every “president” of the ROK before the June Struggle of 1987. after isn’t exactly great, but prior to that is like a rogue’s gallery of the most obvious ghouls and goblins. generals, removed, literal hitler-stans, japan-born occupation collaborators. the Korean War wasn’t forgotten in the US for no reason… even the most cursory skimming of what happened then and ever since is generally damning to the US’ role and involvement. so usually the focus in the west is on how “kooky” the north is for like… not being in thrall to an industry that makes people surgically and chemically reconfigure their faces and bodies and perform on stage to normalize and induce the practice of cosmetic surgery more broadly in the labor and “matchmaking” market.

According to a Statista survey in 2020 which interviewed a total of 1,500 people, plastic surgery is prevalent among young women in South Korea. Nearly 25% of women aged 19–29 have undergone plastic surgery, while men have only undergone surgery 2% of the time. This number increases to 31% of women and 4% of men among 30–39-year-olds. A case study by Allure Magazine noted that in recent years, the percentage rate of males who underwent plastic surgery increased and consisted as much as 30% of cases of those who underwent the procedure.

but i digress…

the US maintains its relevance by portraying the DPRK as the rogue “other” that its puppet needs protection from and whenever relations between the the north and south warm up, the US ramps up provocations and sanctions or otherwise orchestrates increases in diplomatic tensions, like getting the south korean government to claim control over the entire peninsula in its constitution and require that unification be synonymous with liberalization.

she has an election in november and this is after a phone call “from” biden supposedly, which i imagine was something like, “stay in your lane or the party will hang you” because she sounds flustered as shit. also, the video doesn’t let us hear what the question was though her answer started on something sounding like she was expected to comment on biden’s medical condition ?

or it could have been some kind of down-the-line horse trade, which seems to be how the party machine cranks. “do x now, get y later.” for as much hay is made over how the republicans function as a disciplined bloc (overstated, imo… remember all those house speakers lol), the democrats seem to have a pretty resilient party discipline mechanism for stifling a tea party / maga type movement in their house. every time around here when someone not-ossified was running as a challenger/insurgent candidate, they either got fucked by the national party before they could get started or got co-opted into the perennially failing fundraising machine.

i want to say it was a chapo episode post-2016 where they talked to Nomiki Konst or somebody like that about how fundraising works for people under the DNC aegis and it sounds like you’re owned AF. like all the money has to be funneled through some party controlled account management and they get a fat chunk, they get your donor info, influence over where/how it is spent, and can hold it hostage if you’re being uncooperative or “damaging”.

anyway, it seems like the party has several mechanisms for capturing the energy of grassroots movements and pulling its leaders into the fold and they have all only become more obvious over the last decade or so. increasingly, i think the electoral strategy should be to let the national party collapse and atomize.

they are functionally the same in terms of what animals are allowed for consumption. the slaughter rules are all functionally the same, except that to be kosher the animal must be slaughtered by someone who has been specially trained and knows the laws, while islam only requires that it is performed by any sane muslim who knows the rules. so, for an orthodox person, one seems to preclude the other. sometimes there are dispensations for islam that says anyone of an abrahamic faith counts. there is also some quibbling about inspecting the animal vs. inspecting its removed organs, and wether or not the name of god is said before the slaughter.

what this probably means is that they paid up with some consultants endorsed by a large enough muslim organization to modify the existing process to achieve a halal cert without losing their kosher cert at the plant.

its super obvious if you ever look up the rules that they came from the same cultural origin, and are only different due to time and space. the people who argue that there is a true difference in the two are pedantic dorks, even in the eyes of hashem/allah.

they get all indignant and upset at me, call my takes “disturbing”, “monstrous”, “privileged”, “psychotic”

this monstrous genocidal machine is what’s disturbing, and their privilege is to still internalize the ideological psychosis of believing liberalism is not materially aligned with fascism. the actual current and happening genocide is worse and deserves immediate resistance more than the theoretical genocide that will probably never but possibly interrupt their cozy brunch.

ultimately i think it is an existential fear that plagues these people, and they find our takes abhorent because we are the ones saying that the enemy is already inside the house and cannot be excised by the ballot box.

i have spent most of the day excising remnants of my former job from my home computer. proprietary software with now-dead licenses, M$, Adobe, and installing FOSS alternatives where applicable and getting them configured.

i also had gotten extremely lazy with my two personal email accounts and instead of unsubscribing from junk mail or deleting it, just swiping away notifications on my phone. but now that these are my personal accounts, i have spent the last hour setting them up on thunderbird and cleaning them out.

i just sent a command to nuke all but a dozen or so of most recent emails from amazon and those emails represent 5% of almost 23,000 emails, so it’s taking a hot minute to figure out if it’s gonna be able to do it or shit the bed lol.

(spoiler alert: it shit the bed and i had to kill it and restart it lol)

they got him on pull ups now.

moi et le garçons, sur les rues.

on hon hon hon hon.

ah yes, the most complex literature never uses any critical theory.

everything is the way it is because it’s supposed to be that way and speculative fiction is about having cool tech in the future.

I’m not the first to make the observation, but the defunding and de-emphasis of humanities and social sciences (besides capitalist economics) has yielded us a society where cutting edge technologies and billions of dollars are spent telling the shittiest, most pablum stories.

I’ll take a broke historian and a campfire over anything this cretin farts out.

lmao that last one has to be a bit.

also, apparently not supporting someone who sucks is ableism because not sucking is an ability.

Mr. Show is the GOAT.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdIDwYW_JZg