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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 2nd, 2023

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  • Fairy Tail has kinda a DBZ vibe, but the fights are over with in one or two episodes, not 45. (Funimation)

    If you like suspense and psychological thriller, and don’t mind subtitles, Kaiji is an excellent watch. It’s about a man who cosigned a loan with a friend, from a bunch of loan sharks, and has to play increasingly deadly games to try to regain his life. It will take you for a ride. (Crunchyroll)

    I really enjoyed Dr Stone. An apocalypse occurs, petrifying the entire world. Humanity starts to slowly awaken, and they try to rebuild the world while fighting against an opposing group trying to start a new world order. At least for season one. I haven’t cought up recently cuz my depression has been kicking my ass. (Funimation)

    That’s all I got off the top of my head, and I hope it helps.

    Edit: If you like Kaiji, it has two separate side stories.

    Akagi is set in the 70s, I think, and is about a man who is apparently a savant at Mahjong, and ends up playing against a mob boss. wagering his blood against the bosses fortune. The show is really good at trying to explain the rules to the uninitiated without being condescending, and still keeping it suspenseful and engaging.

    The other is Mr. Tonegawa’s Middle Management Blues, more of a slice of life workplace comedy, centering around one of the antagonists of Kaiji, and trying to manage his employees while pleasing his boss. I didn’t finish this one, cuz I got the point about halfway through, but I had fun while it lasted.

    And I just remembered Cells At Work, also subbed, but an excellent romp which I would call “edutainment,” but don’t let that dissuade you! It anthropomorphizes different cells of the human body, describing their functions in kinda a slice-of-life meets monster of the week format. The white blood cells are the knife-weilding defence force of the human body, cutting down Power Ranger monsters that never were. Again, don’t get put off by the edutainment label, cuz the edu and the tainment both hit hard.



  • Oh I’ve always tried to give people the benefit of the doubt. To a fault, even. I’ve been trying to keep a level head. You are right. Finding who I am, bringing her out of that cold, dark cell, it’s intoxicating. Thankfully, the wife and kids are around to help keep me in check.

    Unfortunately, too, I think I’ve unlocked a new set of neuroses. I’m worried I’m obsessing too much about my body hair, and I’m worried I’ve not been feeding myself right. Then again, old me was known to binge eat when stressed, so maybe I’ve cut that out since I’m me now? Gosh, this stuff is so hard to put into words. I feel like I need to invent whole new words to describe how I feel.



  • Respectfully, I don’t tell you how to live your life, so please don’t tell me how to live mine. In many, many cultures, the human body isn’t immediately sexualized and nudity is common, or at least not looked at with disdain. Part of my thought process is that the human body isn’t shameful. Even in “civilized” culture, first world countries, whatever you want to call it, plenty of countries have much more lax viewpoints than puritanical America. Nude beaches for example, arent sex crazed erection centrals. People have often sexualized breasts, but there’s that whole “free the nip” and equality for walking around topless. The human body isn’t something that is inherently shameful.


  • Yeah, it was just my body. I think… I truly had no association with my man-body. It… Wasn’t mine? If that makes sense. I didn’t care what happened to it. But, for example, I was making hot dogs yesterday. Good ones, not that rubbery shit. Some of the hot dog juice from the packet landed on my arms, chest, and shirt as I threw away the packaging.

    I. Freaked. Out.

    I was just about crying in the bathroom because I didn’t have a shirt I felt comfortable in, and I WAS NOT gonna put on one of my old shirts, or walk around topless. I am so self conscious now, I wouldn’t dream of it. I can barely get into bed without being covered now. (I sleep naked. I might change that soon though 😭 Sandpaper skin suuuucks) But, yeah, I guess I always thought of it as “his” body and not mine, you know?






  • Hi, I don’t know you, but I do feel very proud of you for being brave enough to take the next steps in your journey of self-discovery, whatever it looks like. It took me 37 years to come to terms with myself, to accept I’m a girl. While I’m only a week in to acceptance, I get you. I look in the mirror and see some ugly guy trying to dress up as a girl, most times. I just wanna be the beautiful sexy lady I know I am inside.

    I just wanna say, too, that if, at some point, you decide HRT isn’t right for you, that’s okay. That doesn’t make you any less of the beautiful, strong young woman you know you are. And if, for some reason, you decide you are cisgendered , that’s okay too. This is your journey. Don’t let anyone tell you that you are doing it wrong.


  • Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’ll admit to have watching porn just to get off, but honestly, I used to think I was some pervert freak. Now… Now I realize I wasn’t wanting lustfully ogle those innocent women at the mall. I was admiring, studying. Probably trying some things out in my head. You know Amber, from Genshin Impact? I haven’t played it in a couple of years, but I kinda wanna adopt that style. Booty shorts, low cut shirt. I wanna adopt some of the stuff and styles I’ve seen, and hope I can be as pretty as they are some day. Ya know?



  • Before I started my journey of self discovery, one of my favorite pair of socks are some (unfortunately male style) knee-high socks. Been slowly been coming to the realization that it was because they made me think that it was similar to how stockings felt. I even called them my stockings for the past year. Wore them under my jeans all the time at work, and if anyone saw them, it wouldn’t even turn heads.


  • Back when I was a young girl who thought she was a guy (I stole that line from Stephane Stirling, and will use it forever), I had always joked I was a lesbian, because if a girl who liked girls was lesbian, than so was I. Side note, it’s weird how your brain drops crap like that on you, and you don’t come out to yourself til you’re 37. Anyways, a year an a half ago, I realized I was bi. I have a thing for big, hunky guys, almost exclusively, on the masculine side. If it weren’t for that little self discovery, welllll… I can safely say I called myself out on that one. Even now, though I do describe myself as bi, I do have a heavy preference for feminism. At least, until I discover if my lust for women is either scientific or carnal. Kinda been coming to the realization I probably wasn’t wanting their body, I was wanting to have their body.

    Sorry for oversharing…




  • Yeah, I did a bit of “light” reading yesterday and binged the Gender Dysphoria Bible over a few hours, and, hoo, boy! So many things clicked into place. The lingering thoughts of wanting to be a girl, reading into occult and sex magic, and literally praying to Athena and Aphrodite to change me (God, teenage me, what more of a sign do you need), me casually wanting to, but never being able to try on girl clothes, due to growing up south of the bible belt. And more recently, me coming out as bi semi-publicly (not to previously mentioned bible thumpers though.) Me having more than a casual interest in Targets pride wear (that I missed out on cuz I’m too chicken shit). The thoughts flooding back lately about how I always wanted to be a girl.

    It’s a lot for us all to process, but I’ve literally waited all my life for this. I was folding laundry just now. Looking at my clothes in disgust. Thinking about asking my daughter to borrow a pair of capris. I always hated clothing shopping cuz there was nothing for me. I kinda want my wife to take me clothes shopping, to get clothes I want, but I’m scared.

    I’m scared I’m gonna go too far, and scare her away

    I’m scared I’m gonna go too far and fall back into being a boy again.

    I’m scared some bigot is gonna say something and crush me.

    I’m scared of thinking I want to be a boy again, of being afraid to be a girl.

    It’s safe being gender normative. It’s freeing being me. I don’t wanna go back to that cell. I’m scared.

    Sorry for venting on you. I just have so much to say, and I don’t know how to say it, and I have nothing to say, and I’m scared to say it, and I’m scared to leave it bottled. The anonymity feels safe here. I’m sorry. I’m not trying to turn this into a blog post

    Thank you. You are loved.