Oh man, that’s some serious shit. In Italy, those gnarled clumps of hail are referred to as Il testicolo congelato di Satana which, translated to English means Satan’s Frozen Testicle.

Mama mia.

For fuck’s sake, why no Glockopotomus?

-Always hungry, hungry (for murder.) -Dat ass

That’s not a horse, it’s a damned butterfly and you know it!

Thank you, FabioTNO, for providing much-needed insight on the topic of fecal adhesion and permanence.

You seem to know your shit.

“Is Pepsi okay?”

:/

I think they absorb meat liquids so they don’t pool at the bottom of the tray. Probably just to make it look more appealing.

To be noted: My keyboard attempted to autocorrect “pool” to “poop.” I am not displeased.

Nope nope nope… Fuuuuuuck that noise. Tube steak appears to not be a viable option.

For me.

You know, I never even thought about how much liquid weight those little diapers accounted for.

I have heard of “tube steak”. I’ll check into that.

“You have no air here, Gandalf the Gray.”

Mmmkay, but if I were to buy one of those nut butter steaks, it sure as shit better come with one of those little meat diapers in the bottom of the package.

Don’t you cheat me.

Betcha still updooted and laughed. I mean, I did.

Fucking camper…

These boners… I mean, I’d love to meet the dude who came back to the KKK HQ Doublewide and was like:

“Okay boss, I done gave out all them memership papers. We’ll have new recruits in no time. Yeet.”

“Great, Randy, where did you take them? The gun shop, VFW hall, and golf course?”

“Nope, I took ‘em to the churches.”

“Which churches, Randy?”

“The BLACK ones! Hahahahaha!”

“Jesus fucking CHRIST, Randy! Do you know how much those things cost to print? I mean fuck, Randy…”

Okay, hear me out on this one. I know it’s a little off-kilter from the main topic of the post, buuuuuuut…

If the Sky Homies really wanted to convince us that Jesus was the son of god, why didn’t Joseph have him? You know? It’s one thing to say, “Right, so here’s what happened: a goddamn mothman flew into my room, knocked me up without banging me, I totally didn’t cheat, and this kid’s gonna be the shiiiit someday.”

It would be a whole other irrefutable, indisputable, holy fucking titballs buckle up Nancy type of situation if it went like this: “Hey, my name’s Joseph. You can call me Joe. Anyways, I just shat out a kid, pretty sure that’s a miracle.”

The End. Fin. Salute.

But nope, people are supposed to believe the first one. Swing and a miss, I’d say.

Christ… nope, that’s Mlem. My bad.

Hey, I can help with the direct to community issue! It’s just like Apollo was. When you’re in “All”, just click on that in the top center and you can enter your community name. Some will auto populate.

I’m posting from Memmy for Lemmy on iOS, but flip between it and Mlem as they out-update each other. Glorious days, these are.

Poop Juice, I’m glad you recognized, and seized the opportunity to secure a proper username while they were ripe for the picking. I salute you.

Also, this guy showers.

I’m confused as to why the administrator of feline-to-ass torture is holding two cats. Certainly a man’s cavity is incapable of accepting multiple cats, right?

In related news, 100% of scientists who have ever died are dead today.