Sunspear

Ah a classic~

Many modern Onion articles are barely more than their titles, but this one was worth the read in its entirety.

I mean I assume if you’ve lived 30+ years with your given first name, usually it’s something that you associate with yourself a lot, why change it if that’s who you imagine yourself to be

Oh damn this quote really doesn’t help the post, even though I know llms aren’t sentient

To be fair, he did say everyone should see it ☝️🤓

Why wouldn’t anyone choose 1? It’s just a bit blocky, but a spoon nonetheless.

And the question said eat, so small spoons are available for cooking or jars when needed

I’m sorry, but cum.

You can swear on the internet. And this isn’t swearing even, it’s just related to sex, you know, something natural

Ooh this is great news! I guess it was both an entertaining experience and a chore at the same time bumping the server version every once in a while to keep the mobile app functioning.

Huge props to the team, it’s one of the best pieces of software I’ve used in quite some time.

This is imo the most succinct way to summarize it.

Are they a 100% sure it’s the future? Maybe not. But they for sure won’t risk missing out on it either, just in case it does end up being the future.

Yeah sorry I read your first sentence and just wanted to be a contrarian :D I agree with the rest of your comment though after reading it, it could be made a bit more concise with more or less the same effect

I’d take a shot at super speed, I feel like simply saying “but your physique stays as-is” would be enough of a limitation with the following notes:

• You can decide to speed up your perception and run up to e.g 20x your base speed. That would make a 6 km/h walking speed into 120 km/h. Maybe we can do 50x and then it’s 300 km/h.
• Your body experiences the physical task as if you did it at base speed. You exercise for 10 minutes, the physical toll is 10 minutes, even if you sped yourself up to 50x in that timeframe.

In one second, you could zip through 80 meters just by walking, quick enough to be super useful, but still possible to counter since you will get tired after a while

Hmm it’s not that useless, imagine doing parkour stunts where you can stop time each fraction of a second to judge where you need to move your arms/legs.

Or coming up with the perfect riposte for a negative comment from someone :D