was gonna go to a writers meetup tn but social anxiety/exhaustion/slightly upset tummy may get the better of me. it’s every week so not a huge loss if i don’t make it. but idk, maybe i should force myself…

trite romantic fantasy of sheltering them with my umbrella

just friggin kiss already!!!

I’m sure you got some of the same but it just didn’t take.

def got called a pussy and the f slur a lot, that’s for sure. took me a while to circle around to embracing my sensitivity as a strength and as something to be proud of, but better to get there in my early-mid 30s than never at all

I’ve actually been really lucky in this way in my dating life! Most of the serious women in my life have loved or appreciated my sensitivity. Idk, some people who friended me after first dates might have been reacting to me not being masc enough or w/e but first dates mean nothin so I don’t take that personally.

With some of my male friends and acquaintances and some of my family members it can be a different story though…

a sensitive little baby

thing is i am one not really but i just mean i’m much more sensitive than the average, probably across gender lines even. and i don’t wanna get swole i like being a spritely pretty lil prince (well okay a lil arm mass n lean muscle wldnt be unwlecome)

Death to America

any1 else feel shunned and judged for being extremely sensitive while also being a man or otherwise masc presenting? i know it’s a basic feminist 101 critique of masculinity but just tryna commiserate with some likeminded souls out there…

ive thought about this! but i worry that my facial hair is too insubstantial for it to work, but maybe i’m wrong

if only i could pause my facial hair growth at like 4-5 days, where i look optimally hot. I don’t want to look like either a doughy baby or a stringy pube-like mess, why can’t i just always look like a gorgeous androgynous pirate prince

if that specific day doesn’t work out strike while the iron is hot, don’t be afraid to gently (and coolly/chilly ) float the potential of a makeup day with maybe a range of possibilities. fingers crossed 4 u though comrade!!

i use free tinder and get literally no matches and then pay for platinum and match with hotter people than ive ever been with in my life this enshittified chaos is such a joke (i did unpause the apps not because my situationship isn’t going well but i think at this precarious juncture not keeping some form of backup is unwise, its different this time though i am investing next to zero emotional energy in them, trust, trust)

he is the main character and locus of reality, we who are impacted by his actions just a feature of the foul mass growing around his darkening mind

haha ah classic, the good old badposting channel. always good for a hearty friggin laugh XD

ah yeah that makes sense, dealing with a bit of that hesitation with my new person as well, those previous hurts can really linger and define your subsequent relationships if you’re not careful. and social anxiety can be really paralyzing when it comes to this stuff, i get it and know that firsthand. plus the fact that it’s a workplace makes the fear of pushing a boundary inadvertently more acute, particularly with those other guys being low key creepy/pushy. i hope things materialize soon and at a pace that works for both of you!

shame that this season of the boys is kinda bad, hopefully they can pull it together for the final season in S5. if the show weren’t soon to conclude i may, in fact, be tempted to stop drinking that garbage

things are going great and all you gotta do is say “thank you more please.”

so i did have a convo over the weekend with her which made things feel a bit more precarious than i’d previously thought (where for a sec i really thought she was thinking about us not seeing each other romantically anymore), but it ended on a good note and things are still cautiously positive, so you’re right i really should be thankful for this new connection, especially after a good stretch feeling pessimistic about my prospects in terms of meeting anyone romantically in the near future/my general loneliness - it’s sort of shocking that i met someone i click with this well (so far in these very early stages) on the evil apps. and if there is anything to be worried about between me and her, it def isn’t tied to my silly lil screenplay lol.

But we didn’t have our good bye hug for the first time in about a month.

I am saying this with love but it is breaking my mind how long you and her have very obviously been into each other and it still hasn’t materialized, please you two do something fun outside of work together <3

(also if things worked out, fringe benefit is the cleaning lady will get off your ass about meeting someone :p )

irrational insecurity : /

she’s very sensitive and affected by the needs/feelings of others so yeah she very well may lie, i feel like ive developed a decent enough nose for that kind of subtext at this point. that said ive actually gotten pretty openly critical reviews from friends and loved ones in the past so it is somewhat person to person, i also try to be honest when i give feedback to my friends while taking great care to be gentle and constructive. also also ive gotten feedback on a lot of my work from plenty of people i don’t know on a personal level so i feel like i have a more “impartial” sense of the range of opinions/reactions people have on/to it.

but honestly this is way more stressful than sending it to potential agents or producers. they’re super faceless and part of such a detached machinery and i hate so much of the stuff that actually gets made, that their approval or disapproval doesn’t really matter as more than a means to an end. but someone i have affection and respect for irl is just more personal.

when i play guilty gear strive and i alt f4 on my last one or two celestial games when someone insists on tryharding vs me im fighting for justice im sparing the poor little floor tens from the endless cascade of bullying they face at the start of every month

this ranked system is so mind bendingly stupid that it arcs back around to actually being so fucking sick and cool dude

yeah dude demand a level of consistency much higher than a formal tournament set to make it so my play experience isn’t constantly interrupted in an infamously explosive game, we truly have the best and strongest brains at arc system works, don’t we folks? tremendous brains. very strong. very strong

im supposed to send my situationship-partner some of my writing this weekend, i opened up the script doc to give it a once over before sending it and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh just reading the first few graphs and i feel too self conscious!!!

she’s so beautiful and kind and cool and sweet and wise what if she doesn’t like it!!!