¿Qué?

Every single time I get naked.

It’s a chore.

Dry rape? Bro it’s a torture thing today

But don’t you know condoms burst at the sight of my shlong? It has nothing to do with the fact that the sight of naked me dries up a pussy quicker than a fucking hairdryer.

that’s what she said

Sometimes my car decides to play some radio before connecting to my phone. It’s an unfortunate side-effect of owning a not-too-nice car.

Radio DJs are little more than advertising agents nowadays. Or worse, wannabe entertainers.

Making car-pedestrian collisions safe is a ridiculous idea failed to doom from the start. Cars are big and hard, people are small and squishy.

I think the key is to prevent cars and people from coexisting as much as possible.

Or horny.

Here’s how I read this:

“We’re doubling the price of this chocolate this year. Here’s a bogus excuse as to why. Enjoy.”

Emulators are what I miss from android. GBA has one of the best libraries of any console, plus there’s the custom rom scene. And I have this absurdly powerful phone that can’t run any of it.

Domains were seized.

They are probably right, unfortunately.

I wouldn’t buy an automatic bike, coz I ride bikes for fun.

The daily get-to-work shitbox? I don’t want to babysit the gearbox, just do your thing while I chill to some tunes.

Sponges?

Yeah I’ll do the washing myself, thank you very much.

Well, I guess it’s time to finally read the wheel of time.

todoist

Great minds think alike! Todoist keeps what I need to do on a daily basis, and obsidian holds the knowledge framework that sustains everything.

Also no one else being there.

Also being in my home.

Also getting to work in pants.

So I guess nothing, then 👌

Or, you know, you slammed the the bit you held into the body of the phone with a satisfying “pling”.

Now get off my lawn.

The only reason you get that title, on either count, is that we decided to brexit.

(Using the word “decided” in the widest possible sense)

I just bought it the other day and went in blind with a friend. My god is it an insane game.

My friend isn’t even an engineer and he was talking about refactoring.

I’ll make an engineer out of him yet, you’ll see.