Dissociation as a side effect of a medication I was on.
It is really hard to describe. It was as if I was a passenger within my own body and mind. I was watching myself do and say things with no feeling of presence or control.
That’s like depersonalization or derealization. For me, it was terrifying. I could hug my best friend but still feel like he was across the room/house. I have never felt more alone in my entire life than when going through those episodes. It was during these times that suicide seemed like a solid way out. I held through and over a few months it faded away.
Edit: I didn’t realize that both of the two ARE disassociation. Huh, I have disassociated before and never made the connection (no pun intended).
Did this make you question the concept of free will at the time or in general?
Not really. Just that consciousness is an incredibly complex thing that we don’t really understand.
K-hole from too much ketamine will definitely do this.
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That’s what lots of weed does to me.
I’d really like to experience this at some point because I can’t imagine what it’s like at all.
This is asklemmy material op
Two.
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I dreamt of a weird building that was a glass building. It was sort of like a barn and some parts were on rollers to like… Let the building open up? Just an odd dream. Nothing scary or exciting, but the building was neat. Within the next few days, I stumbled across a random video on YouTube (pre 2008) and there was the exact same glass building house barn. I watched it a little and they did a walk through, everything was exactly my dream. I fucking transcended physically and went to go do something else. It was just too weird.
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I was like 9 or so and was going to bed. My bed was against the front end of the trailer home by the window. Making this short, a fucking human hand slowly rose up from below the window. I thought it was outside. I stared at it for a bit. It did not move. It didn’t do anything just like… Stayed there. A hand (with arm) like someone was reaching up from below. After a bit of staring and nothing happening, I wanted to see if it was real or if I was hallucinating. I quickly poked at it. I FELT IT. and watched it get pushed back from my poke before returning to the same position. I ran the hell out of my room and slept in the living room. At the time I was a lone foster child living with a single older woman who was extremely serious and treated me like a burden. No way she was messing with me and she even got mad that I slept in the living room. No windows were open and all perimeter doors locked. That haunted me for a while. I’m not a supernatural believer but also cannot manage to draw an explanation other than the fact that I was a young child going through a significantly stressful situation with nobody around me that I knew.
Is the video still up?
I actually tried looking for it like a year later but couldn’t find it. When it showed up originally it was just on my feed which was also super out of place. I’ve given attempts here and there but no luck, probably since more than a billion videos have been uploaded from there to here. I’ll give it another quick search. If you don’t see the link, I haven’t found it.
E: OK so this is not THE video, but I’m pretty sure that this is the house. I remember it being a like… House with wheels where the roof moves, there were two levels. And lots of glass. Pretty sure this is the house, but again, the exact video would have been legitimately over 15 years old.
E2: forgot the link
Bump for original comment. Check reply.
The human mind is a weird thing. That second one sounds like a very convincing hallucination to me, even feeling the hand. It could be you were in between that state of awake and asleep, it definitely sounds like the kind of thing someone who has had sleep paralysis experiences.
As a result of narcolepsy, I regularly dream while half awake (think while you’re falling asleep or waking up). It can sometimes be hard to remember whether something happened in a dream or in real life when in that state.
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I was walking home at maybe 11 pm on a spring night in Cambridge MA probably 2013-ish - along Broadway down in Kendall square where it meets Ames street. I saw a man in his late fifties maybe early sixties in a business suit run across the street when the light was green. He fell in the middle of the road near the side I was on (this has two lanes each way or did at that time) and stood up right as two cars sped by him on either side. Neither car slowed at all like they saw him and he got to the sidewalk where I was standing. I had stopped and I was maybe five feet from him and asked “hey are you ok?!?” He looked at me and then just took off running down a walking path that continues to cross between blocks.
It was the oddest thing, like other people were walking on the sidewalk and should have seen this guy almost get killed but it was like I was the only one who saw this.
I don’t know if you believe in them but what if you saw a ghost?
Yeah I am generally skeptical of ghosts but I honestly have no explanation for this event, it was so odd. Who knows - just really weird.
Some people have such a weak presence that most people simply don’t see them.
When I was growing up I was at my grandmother’s house out in the woods, she had land on a hill so the sky was pretty visible and usually very clear at night. The stars were easy to spot. One particular night I was looking down her driveway when I saw the entire sky light up green. It turns out meteorites burning up in the atmosphere can turn the whole sky green suddenly, but I didn’t know that at the time and it freaked me out bad.
At least we live in an age where you can find out what happened relatively easily. Imagine seeing that in the 1500’s
Saw a TR 3B hovering above a Boeing hangar (?) outside of Boeing Field in south Seattle.
Edit: Specifically, the building labelled Boeing 9-101 on google maps, which is apparently technically in Tukwila.
DMT before the NMT was purged from it while I was on break at Taco Bell.
Strange doesn’t even begin to describe it.
SameSameButDifferent… DMT after all purging was done and final product.
But that’s just plain regular magnificent! NMT puts you into the weirdest state. I’m pretty sure it’s a heavy disassociative.
Woke up with vertigo. Had to basically lay there with my eyes closed not moving for probably 10 minutes because every tiny movement felt like I was gonna throw up.
I had that happen to me too.
I hear it’s a derangement in your balancing thing, in your inner ear. Chunks of stuff or sticky hairs or something.
I was afraid it was permanent but it came and went over a couple days and then went away.
I don’t know if I can be certain about what event takes the top spot:
Being on shrooms and seeing myself in the mirror
Coming to on a pool floaty after seeming to lose consciousness underwater
The visual phenomena that precede fainting
Outer body experience once while walking through my neighborhood. Sudden sensation of flying upward while looking down before I shook it off.
They say that everybody experiences stuff like that. Out of body. ESP. Precognition. Ghosts etc. The trick is to get control over it. (See “The Yoga Aphorisms of Patanjali” for more on that.)
But it doesn’t fit into the popular narrative, so we don’t talk about it. We call it “hallucination”. Now get back to work.
If this kind of stuff exists, but we ignore it, we must be crazy.
Your mom
