Not 10 minutes ago, Mickey (my cat) was meowing at my partner and I, just chatting. I walk towards him as I leave and say “watch him, as soon as we’re out of your sight l he’ll beat me up”, so my partner crept behind me as I entered the living room, where Mickey has trotted to, and the jerk didn’t do a thing.

But! As soon as my partner goes back to the other room, Mickey has pounced and started biting my leg like a Christmas ham.

He’s so damn dumb, but he knows what words mean and definitely did that on purpose. He plays softly when my partner is watching, and then claws me up like a mofo when we’re alone.

I love him so damn much haha