• WallOfBacon [none/use name]@hexbear.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    0
    ·
    2 years ago

    A lot of these responses say to me y’all aren’t even a little bit self aware.

    If I read out some of the shit you say when you’re horny or lovey-dovey then you’d cringe yourselves to death. If you talked to anyone else but your lover in this way you’d look like the biggest goofball goober in the world. Realizing that horniness changes your brain state to do some embarrassing things in retrospect does not make someone a serial killer lol.

      • WallOfBacon [none/use name]@hexbear.net
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        2 years ago

        It’s amazing we can understand that a woman feeling uncomfortable after sex might be due to deeper mental health problems but a man must be a misogynist.

        PCD is associated with current psychological distress, sexual abuse, and other sexual dysfunctions in both men and women. Men aren’t raging sex machines and in fact have hangups and anxiety over sex too.

        • You’re putting a lot of words in my mouth, there. Doing a lot of reworking what NFT Avatar and Other Dude actually said, too.

          Deeper mental health problems can - and in this specific case do - have an ideological component. I don’t know what to tell you besides, “mainstream western culture is is at best permissive of hardcore misogyny and at worst overtly supportive of it, so of fucking course it’s a load-bearing part of the most common ideologies that capitalize on men’s loneliness.”

          • WallOfBacon [none/use name]@hexbear.net
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            0
            ·
            2 years ago

            You’re putting a lot of words in my mouth, there. Doing a lot of reworking what NFT Avatar and Other Dude actually said, too.

            While the misogynist comment was uncalled for, I’m simply extending the same good faith that we’d extend to a woman in a similar situation.

            Deeper mental health problems can - and in this specific case do - have an ideological component. I don’t know what to tell you besides, “mainstream western culture is is at best permissive of hardcore misogyny and at worst overtly supportive of it, so of fucking course it’s a load-bearing part of the most common ideologies that capitalize on men’s loneliness.”

            Right, western culture of misogyny fuels mental health problems. So we should unpack those and realize that both men and women having sexual hangups is not a moral failing on their part.

            The findings confirm that PCD is under‐recognized and under‐researched. There appears to be no relationship between PCD and intimacy in close relationships.

            A study on women found that PCD is not correlated with intimacy but occurs regardless. Your statement that this is ideological and rooted in men’s loneliness is incomplete because PCD occurs at similar rates in both men and women. It also doesn’t account for the many non-ideological correlations for PCD as mentioned in my previous comment.

            • PCD certainly is a serious problem and not a moral failing. As you say, my statement is incomplete, but I might call it focused instead. The reason I’m bringing up lonely men here isn’t because I think PCD is confined to men, but because I don’t know anything about women’s experiences with it

              I go into more detail in a separate comment thread, but my take on the way NFT Avatar talks about PCD as sort of, ‘just how men work,’ is that within their worldview, it very likely is how they’re supposed to work. Tradcaths, Evangelicals, Mormons, and non-theistic Fapstronauts as they regrettably call themselves all share similar mechanisms for binding people’s sex drives into a feedback loop of doomed internal battles-of-will followed by feelings of shame and inadequacy steeling their resolve for the next doomed battle

              It’s not just about masturbation, either. It’s part of a broader, essentialistic way of looking at people and their sexuality. In that kind of framework, the concept of an “ideal person” can be contrasted to “human nature,” and flattened onto a linear conception of morality. So, set the ideal to be both arbitrary and practically impossible, and suddenly you’re violating Morality (or some pop-psychology equivalent) by thinking about butts, which almost seems funny until you think about how hellish that is

              What I guess I’m trying to say is that, in addition to all the other traumas people go through, we have some massively popular ideologies that systematically inflict particular kinds of ideological trauma on tons of people. I was lucky enough to escape Evangelical philosophy early, but it’s hard to describe just how reliably disorienting it can be to have a conditioned anxiety response to experiencing joy