John’s father got captured and is being “held” in the dark castle. Mostly he’s just causing problems and punching imps. This is particularly annoying to an Archagent named Jack Noir. Jack has come to deal with John’s father personally. Jack doesn’t play nice, Jack… gets whopped to the head. He attempts to respond with a good some ol’ switchblade negotiation strategy. But John’s dad Sets Jack’s hat on fire then stomps it out destroying it. The only thing Jack seems to hate more than John’s father right now was that damn ugly hat. Pleased it’s now gone, Jack decides to release John’s father instead of dealing with him.

Jade is on top of a short tower near the frog ruins. She uses her bass to summon lily pads to jump across the lake and get to the entrance of the frog ruins. They are full of glowing symbols.

Dave has, after much getting his ass kicked, gotten the SBURB beta. He can now host Rose and save her from fiery death. As Dave instals the game we get another Huge friggin epic animation.

The install animation is like Johns. It seems to take awhile. Dave gets bored and doodles some SBHJ, Rose is just playing with Mewtini. The animation jumps around but I’ll focus on each of the characters.

Dave immediately tosses Rose’s bed into the flames then places all the crafting benches in terrible locations. Rose is cursing Dave out pretty heavily. I wish we could see some more narration on that one. Fortunately, having written the guide on this she knows the process already. Dave uses the giant wizard statue to open the Cruxiter. He then tosses it carelessly onto the ground outside. The breaks of the hand holding the orb that we saw as a wayward vagabond blasted off in a big can. She even takes her own advice and prototypes the sprite using her dead cat Jasper. Dave adds the plush tentacle princess doll Rose had on her couch. Dave does the crafting work so he is at least useful. Instead of the apple that John made Rose gets a bottle of wine as her trigger item. But, as the fires rage on they form fire tornadoes. One of these causes the dismembered hand to smack the wine bottle. This sends it flying off a nearby waterfall. Dave cannot help at all as his room had become overrun with crows who attack him. This likely as vengeance for the one he impaled. With no other options Rose makes a hail-mary leap over the waterfall to catch the bottle. She is successful, then rescued by her new tentacle princess cat sprite. Smashing the bottle we see a glimpse that below Rose’s home was a giant wine bottle shaped bunker. The “cork” was the can-shaped rocket WV would later fly off in. Rose and her house disappear into the game.

Jade had discovered in the depths of the frog ruins a giant Lotus flower. It had a timer that seemed to sync with Rose’s Cruxiter. On 0 it reveals the silver proto-sprite that she has seen come out of the meteor that had fallen there. This turns into Dave’s copy of the SUBRB beta. The one that the impaled crow took. This gives Jade her own copy of the game somehow. I’m sure it’s explained later.

John’s part in this starts with Nana sprite. Nana writes the note in the copy of Coronals Sassacars that we saw in the intermission between act 2 and 3 (page 1149). This is playing on our assumptions that the note had been in there prior. This also means John hasn’t seen this note. She then throws the book over the edge of the cliffs around John’s house. We see the book fall below the clouds into a land with a beautiful deep blue landscape.

Later we see John going ham with his new weapons. He dual wields both the pogo and the WrinkleFucker hammers. John uses his new sense of business effectiveness on massacring imps. He’s also using the Telescopic Sassacrusher to destroy ogres. John is going to earn so much exp, for this. One imp has his dads hat. This makes John punch the thing to death and takes the hat into his inventory. This ejected his Crosbytop into the void. John then gets to the top after defeating the entire horde and jumps through the first gate.

We get a few pictures that reveal that John’s house had been on top of a huge mesa sticking above the clouded planet. The on WV painted on his wall. This ends Act 3.

(I had to re-watch this animation like 30 times to get all that)