This time I decided I should probably conceal carry. I’ve done it before, so it’s not like I don’t know what I’m doing, or am generally unsafe with a firearm. I went to the bar I used to cook for, and after I got in, this hick just loudly proclaimed every minority by slur they didn’t like and wished them all dead. He basically only liked white Christian cis-heteronormative people 🤷. This is not the first time I’ve heard this kind of hate to me and my family, so I’m unsurprised. I sit and have a light beer and a shot, and wait while everyone leaves. I got to talk to the bartenders, about nails, some stories about ex boyfriends, plans for the future, catch up about what happened since I left, minus my transition of course. She said I look good. Said my arms have thinned, my hair is back, I’ve lost weight, I look younger, etc. All stuff that made me feel good. I thanked them for talking to me, the one lady started to cry, she was sweet enough for an industry girl, and understood if you treat me well I’ll move mountains for you if I can. Kinda made me feel pathetic that I was thanking a bartender for talking to me like a person, but I don’t get much of that anymore.
Today my mom (who knows and is transphobia white Christian nationalist incarnate) came by with her parents (liberal-light). They drove for hours to come visit, it was actually nice. My live in family all calls me Jessie, but only my partner knows why. So they are all referring to me as Jessie, my mom is asking people if they want dessert and she deadnames me stumbles over it, gets upset (not mad, but emotionally upset), and I tell her no thank you, that it’s okay, that she’s good, and she keeps walking to the cheesecake and apologizes and asks again, and I tell her no thank you, that I don’t eat like I used to while I walked to her, hug her and hold her while she kinda cries. “I tell her it’s okay, that I love her, that I’m willing to meet her halfway, that I know it’s hard, that I’m not mad, that it’s all good, that we’re all good. She hugs me tight and tighter and cries. I cry. Even if it isn’t understood, in that moment of cooperation, we had an understanding, she’s trying, and I’m here to calmly be the best child I can in helping her have a relationship with me if she’s willing.
We texted when she got home, she wants to come back, talk more, not holding my breath for a breakthrough, but I’m hopeful that she might do some personal growth and come to accept me as me, even if I have to lie a bit and just be Non-Binary butch when she sees me on the random holiday.
One day at a time I suppose.
Attached is my handgun, but not my picture, with all the threatening bullshit I’ve been getting, I’m gonna get back in the habit of having a edc again.
I pray y’all are in safer places, but what do you all carry for protection?
Edit to fix typos and add, I’m loaded with Hornady .380 Critical Defense
Edit 2: replace original opening text with the same text but citing a hyperlink to florida law re-iterating that I do indeed know what I am doing and didn’t do anything illegal where I live or break any rules.
I don’t disagree with you. It honestly is with a heavy heart that I find myself feeling the need to carry because of such shitty people. In general I am a massive fan of gun reform, but as it is, the game, with the rules as they are, I can’t allow myself to be that disadvantaged. Mr Hicksville was way more drunk than that, and I guarantee he was armed, and the police WILL look the other way if he gets even more drunk and decides he thinks I followed his eye candy into the bathroom, even if I didn’t at all, and she was elsewhere on the property.
I wish we weren’t here at all and that I could just be a person that deserved respect for my humanity as a base level, but we aren’t there.
@NoStressyJessie That sounds a whole lot like “I know what the rules are, but I’m ignoring them anyway, because I feel justified”. That’s not how laws work.
The best way to use a gun is to avoid using it. Don’t put yourself in a situation where you feel like you’re in danger. That means you probably shouldn’t get dinner at the shitty bar that over-serves armed racists. If it’s as bad as you’re indicating; get the fuck out of there (and report the incident to their management… on the phone, later).
@Thcdenton @Fal
You wanna help me leave the state? Everywhere I’ve reached out to doesn’t accept me because technically I’m “protected“ by discrimination laws, but if you want to help my family and I move to a more hospitable environment, we’d be appreciative.
Edit: you know what, fuck all this victim blaming bullshit. I can’t even go to Disney Springs without being picketed and called a groomer by literal Nazi’s, do you think fucking Disney is unaware of the loud vocal nazis and refusing to do anything about it? These motherfuckers get to terrorize me and my family regardless sanctioned by the police because next to the Nazi flag is a DeSantis one and “Freeze Peach”.
@NoStressyJessie
A gun is not a shield. If you carry one to protect yourself, you have to remember that the only viable method is to shoot to stop someone before they kill you. There’s no good version of that.
They don’t “get” to terrorize you anymore than you “get” to shoot them. You make it sound like either of these are actively condoned (maybe within the group of assholes, but that can’t be 100% of your local population, even in Florida). Patronize business/locales that don’t take that shit laying down (and when they do, raise hell with management/corporate/whoever).
As for moving somewhere else? Don’t. Stick sound, find like minded people, form a large group, volunteer for the campaign of a better candidate, and help kick that shit stain out of office. He’s already fucking up six ways from Sunday, even another Republican (a real one) would be better.
In the meantime, hang out in large groups to out-populate the dickheads at the bar. Go out of your way to make it a place they don’t want to be, and let THEM find somewhere else to go. Fuck em.